Why many women dislike socially awkward men

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12 Oct 2022, 10:06 am

I was "desperate" in my early 20s.....and the women knew it.

I had to change----pronto!

I had to put "pursuing my interests" first, and "finding a girlfriend' on the backburner.

Where_am_I
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12 Oct 2022, 10:08 am

I have an excellent sleaze radar.

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kraftiekortie
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12 Oct 2022, 1:32 pm

Nobody EVER thought I was sleazy

They just thought I was a little overbearing in me showing interest in them.

magz
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12 Oct 2022, 1:37 pm

You don't know what people actually think about you :mrgreen:

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kraftiekortie
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12 Oct 2022, 1:50 pm

I'm pretty sure of my impressions.....

I'm confident that nobody thought I was sleazy. And I never was sleazy.

And if they thought I WAS sleazy....then they were wrong.

SkinnyElephant
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12 Oct 2022, 2:12 pm

Jayo wrote:

One thing I will say is that I NEVER recall getting the label or comment of "creepy" behind my back. I've heard "weird", "strange", "not all there", "something up with him"... guess it helped that I had about an 8.5/10 rating from having handsomeness which my close circle of friends attested to, including a platonic female friend, and that I worked out regularly. So I had moderate success at the clubs and occasional success on dates with girls.

I think the "creepy" label tends to be more for the very unattractive men who engage in similar behaviours to the average Aspie. Like, if someone looked like George Costanza or Wallace Shawn and acted in a "bizarre" socially awkward fashion towards women, yeah, they'd creep them out. But if it was someone who looked like Chris Hemsworth or Matthew McConaghey (particularly in the 90s or 2000s), they'd be unlikely to get the "creepy" label.

That's just how our society works. Heck even Ted Bundy was able to bypass women's "creepy" radar...

I got called creepy all the time during my school days. Back then, I was (at best) average (in terms of looks).

I mentioned on a prior post how I eventually looksmaxxed myself to an 8 out of 10.

The looksmaxxing started around age 21 (and really became perfected at 25). Ever since I started looksmaxxing, I don't recall getting called creepy (except by family members belittling me)

You could be onto something: Good looks end up hiding the "creepiness" factor.

SkinnyElephant
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12 Oct 2022, 4:26 pm

magz wrote:

My "creepy" radar beeps at desperate men.
Socially awkward ones who have otherwise interesting lives (plenty of them in the Faculty of Physics) are fine.

A lot of socially awkward men become desperate due to the fact it's harder for us to succeed in the dating/sex game (compared to socially gifted men)

techstepgenr8tion
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12 Oct 2022, 4:45 pm

We live in a society where it's considered absolutely not worth the effort for anyone to know anyone else because it's just another ape and if what you see on the surface isn't what you get - f' em, too many thoughts concatenated together get in the way of success. To that extent we end up in something like gestalt-based caste systems where your gestalt will determine your worth, where you can go in life, etc. far more than anything else about you. This is a big part of why there's so much to talk about with 'autistic spectrum disorders' and the degree to which trying to pin down what's actually causing trouble in situations like HFA and Asperger's is like trying to nail fog to a wall - at least until you understand how NT's intend to treat each other and if they're going to treat each other that way there's no reason whatsoever for them to stop with us.

We come to life expecting fairness, or if there isn't fairness expecting that it's something wrong with us that we need to fix. I'm increasingly thinking that's our problem not theirs. They're here to smash each other over status. Are we low status? We get smashed. Really simple.

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Mitchell M.
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12 Oct 2022, 8:19 pm

SkinnyElephant wrote:

Mitchell M. wrote:

Where_am_I wrote:

kraftiekortie wrote:

^You certainly would have dug me in high school!

Jokes aside, I would have been nice to you. I was always mean to the chad/bad boy types.

Posts on L&D where they complain about women going for that type completely confuse me as that is not my experience.

What is your opinion on the chad/bad boy type if he is on the spectrum?

It's highly unlikely (impossible even) for a guy on the spectrum to be a bad boy.

Looks-wise, I suppose we can be Chads. However, the stereotypical Chad is generally every bit as smooth socially as he is looks-wise.

An autistic can be a bad boy.

magz
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13 Oct 2022, 1:59 am

SkinnyElephant wrote:

magz wrote:

My "creepy" radar beeps at desperate men.
Socially awkward ones who have otherwise interesting lives (plenty of them in the Faculty of Physics) are fine.

A lot of socially awkward men become desperate due to the fact it's harder for us to succeed in the dating/sex game (compared to socially gifted men)

That's true but you guys need to realize that desperation is among the most powerful off-putting factors.
Finding your niche for a satisfying life outside of dating is the best way to counter it. Being genuinely happy with your life is attractive.

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cyberdad
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13 Oct 2022, 2:04 am

kraftiekortie wrote:

Nobody EVER thought I was sleazy

They just thought I was a little overbearing in me showing interest in them.

A lot of single women notoriously run rings around socially awkward men. If they don't measure up (which is most men) then there's literally a thousand ways to cock block a man.

Less desirable men are considered "sleazy" when they say "hello". Attractive well paid alpha types are "players" when they make a move.

cyberdad
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13 Oct 2022, 2:06 am

magz wrote:

but you guys need to realize that desperation is among the most powerful off-putting factors.

To be fair from experience it's hard to be calm and suave when you are hyperventilating :lol:

IsabellaLinton
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13 Oct 2022, 2:16 am

Maybe I missed it but how are you all defining "socially awkward"?

What types of things would the man do awkwardly?

(Is it the same as being rude, or just ... awkward?)

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magz
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13 Oct 2022, 2:19 am

cyberdad wrote:

magz wrote:

but you guys need to realize that desperation is among the most powerful off-putting factors.

To be fair from experience it's hard to be calm and suave when you are hyperventilating :lol:

I understand.
Focusing on something else, something that interests you by itself, can really help.

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magz
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13 Oct 2022, 2:21 am

cyberdad wrote:

kraftiekortie wrote:

Nobody EVER thought I was sleazy

They just thought I was a little overbearing in me showing interest in them.

What is "cock block"? Refusing to have sex with someone?
Isn't it a form of badly entitled attitude?

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r00tb33r
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13 Oct 2022, 3:03 am

magz wrote:

What is "cock block"?

No, it means getting in the way of someone's opportunity to have sex. You know, blocking their rooster.

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