Thoughts on making dating profile as a woman

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As a woman, I struggle with online dating, and really dating in general. I am told I come off too seriously on my profile because I go into detail for the prompts. The other women's dating profiles I have seen tend to have short answers, so maybe men prefer that?

Example 1:

Prompt: A Perfect Day

My response:

Which type of person art thou looking for, if I may ask?

Yeah, I don't really trust dating sites, myself.

As a woman, you're going to get matches no matter what. That's not going to be the issue. However, you should still take the time to craft a really good online dating profile and I'll give a few suggestions down below.


First off, figure out your hobbies and interests, and then take photos which showcases your interests. If you like to hike for example, get a photo of you in the great outdoors. If you're a musician, then get a photo of you playing guitar. Basically, get photos which showcases the kind of person you are and there's a few reasons why you should be doing this:

1. By showcasing your hobbies and lifestyle, you're more likely to attract men with a similar lifestyle to you. The men who are into the same things as you are will likely reach out and message you. This means, you will get more compatible matches.

2. The quality of first messages you receive from men will increase. For many men, when they message a woman, they're looking at her profile to get an idea of how to open her. However, this is kind of hard to do when the woman has selfies with a bio that doesn't say anything about them. So if all you're ever getting is "hey" or "hey baby" as first messages, that's a sign that your profile is really bad.

Men do not give a darn about your bio or your hobbies. In fact, most men (including good men) would read your bio and hobbies and think that you would never believe they were good enough. For instance, you enjoy "exploring the world." Traveling is what single women do. Most single men don't travel. They work. You go on about how cultured you are, educated, enjoying literature and the arts, tackling complex engineering problems. That's intimidating. There are about two cultured men looking for dates on line.

Men want someone with whom they can get along.

What men care about in online dating:

Looks.

Age.

Whether you have young children at home.

If they care about your job, it is likely because they are underemployed or unemployed. Similarly they would care about whether you own a home.

You guys raise some good points. Nevertheless, I do include pictures of myself doing things that I listed as hobbies.

I don’t intend to be intimidating. I guess I don’t even realize if I am? I consider myself to be very friendly, but also there is that social disconnect. I have trouble knowing how I am perceived. It’s more that any matches seem shallowly interested like I am just a generic female, but that aligns with what you all have said here, so thank you for your comments. I tend to disappoint on actual dates because I don’t meet the female expectation of being socially apt. I get retroactively friend zoned a lot.

Maybe that is just how online dating works; men message all women who they are slightly interested in physically and women select from that pool.

I think that I likely need to improve real life social skills and go from there. Probably best to put a pause on online dating.

To answer Uncanny Danny I am seeking someone with similar interests (or at least tolerant of mine) and way of life in the sense that they mind my “quirks”.

Anyways, thanks everyone for your responses.

I would pare it a little, but by and large don't worry about it. If that's who you are in word form, then that's who you are in word form. The right man/woman/person will eventually see it and be like "wow! she's just like me, for real for real!" or they'll be interested to learn more about you.

How do you feel about long-distance relationships, if I may ask?

Is better to have long details than short. Nothing is worse than not giving any details.
Secondly a good photo of oneself.
And most important. Make sure the photo is not of you being too revealing as some womwn think if they show their breast etc it will attract men. It may attract some men but they will more likely be the wrong men. Is a stupid thing to do! (likewize, do not show off tatoos, multiple earings if one has them, too much make-up in the photos etc. Just be you in a nice innocent form).
Do NOT in any circumstance lie in the details. A classic example of what some womwn hide is if they smoke. Nothing worse to a man who does not like the smell of smoke to find out when he has gone to great lengths to meet the lady, that she has not told him the truth. (Some men get turned on by a woman who smokes, so why do some women try to hide things? The right man is out there to discover, and the right man is the one who loves you just the way you are!)
You mentioned going into too much detail. Maybe smallerize it a little so it then gives detail without becoming too much. Detail to a man is better than no detail.

Do not try to be someone you are not. Just be who you are.
My Mum said a statement to me in the past which summerises dating (I am not good at things like this and too nurvous to be on a dating site and only had two or three GF's (Depends if one considers dating as physically meeting or online only. Physifally meeting I can say two), so am single). She said that "Dating is the one thing where love can pass through the barriers of race, social status, religion, country one lives in etc, etc. (Russians can date Americans. Germans can date British, young can date old (As long as both are adults) etc, etc, etc! There are no boundaries. Only the boundary of LOVE!
No rich need feel guilty to date poor and vice versa. No black need feel guilty to date white. Is personal preference and if one does not feel attracted to certain people than that is ok! Is fine! After all. One is looking for the one to spend the rest of ones life with, so one needs a person one can be happy with!
Also be aware that no one is going to be perfect and after the first six months of dating one will start to see the real person, and not the rose tinted person one thinks one was dating. If one survives this stage and still love each other than one has really found the right one! Something I advise within this first dating period is best not to have sex until at least after this dating period. I personally want the commitment of marriage before sex but that is me. I mention this because sex is a very deep commitment in many ways to recover from if things don't work out, and dating is about spending time with the other person to find out if the person is the right one or not. Some say one does not buy a car without riding it, but this has no real relationship with dating, as test driving is the dating. No sex need be involved. The right analagy would be to say "One does not fill the tank with fuel on a car one is test driving!" One just puts just enough fuel to drive it and no more! So by all means cuddle ans kiss, as this is just enough to give a good test drive but by all means do not commit oneself to the expense to fill the whole tank if one is merely test driving! I hope this analagy makes more sense! Probably a better analagy would be not to pay for the car before one has been on a test drive? One only wants to try the car. Not end up with giving it a service when it is not ones car yet to do such a thing! One would be mad! Yet so many men give free services at their expense and so many women allow themselves to be serviced by mechanics they don't properly trust or know Could end up with little nuts, bolts and washers everywhere without the oilpan of marriage to catch them in!!



Hopefully you will find just the right person for you!

Make it bit shorter, otherwise I see nothing wrong in your profile.

Also I would omit the travel part, it became a meme cliché; 99% of people love traveling if they can afford it.