What Am I Even Supposed To Do To?

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It's not directly against you.

You said "This kind of talk makes us look bad."

I agree that talking about mail-order brides as a solution in L&D makes those people look bad.
I agree that putting abuse survivors in a position where they feel like dartboards makes people look bad.

I thought I'd already stated these truths, yesterday.

Sex dolls have nothing to do with the conversation.
There's nothing wrong with sex dolls and none of us said there was.

!	Cornflake wrote:
	A large off-topic block arguing over "different" vs. "inferior" has been moved to its own thread, here: viewtopic.php?f=31&t=411875#p9239668

A lot of people, especially a lot of women I know, disagree with you on the sex dolls. Some argue that it is reinforcing the idea of objectifying women, they don’t see it like the other sex toys such as a dildo or flashlight. Some companies aiming to create real people lookalike robots/interactive dolls for sex that look so much like real humans, especially like women. There were cases of men « marrying » such dolls.

So it is not only kraftie who sees it as something controversial and dehumanizing, a lot of people do too. It is a wildly controversial topic.

Besides, it is interesting that kraftie always sides with YOUR camp (the clique of active 3-4 women + funeral), yet he frequently also ends up being attacked too by the same clique, and often by nitpicking something he said taken way out of context - like for example in this thread: just because he said he is against sex dolls doesn’t mean he supports buying humans for F—- sake! That shoe picture of yours in your reply to him was a low act frankly, and no he is no idiot, he got it.

It is even totally unfathomable to think that kraftie would mean anything remotely like that.

All his texts were clear and I fail to see any room of misunderstanding in his words.

I dunno, as if your clique enjoys singling him out everytime, I am starting to believe you enjoy trolling him, yes I am accusing you of bullying. I would like to get the attention of mods on that because this is a repetitive pattern.

Damned either way, poor kraftie.

So please report these posts.

I could say the same about you in regards to Issy. You nitpick at everything they say. They are the kindest to all the male members on here, yet you continue to target them.

You once accused me of trolling Kraftie and Fnord, when I clearly wasn't. A post of yours I had reported.

And I strongly disagree, none of us are targeting Kraftie. The issue is you failing to see the issue.

Ps sorry, TGI.

What are you talking about?

The blow-up doll comment I made in this thread was a humorous, self-deprecating response about myself because Twilight mentioned men should use blow-up dolls for sex instead of buying foreign wives (e.g., actual human beings) from other countries. At the time of my comment CF and 1986 (likely others but I didn't read back very far), had already agreed that the concept of mail-order brides was exploitative and inappropriate.

That had nothing to do with KK. He wasn't even part of the conversation about dolls when I posted.

I posted a joke about myself. I had just woken up and remembered all the confusion from yesterday. I was trying to lighten the mood and make fun of myself.

KK replied with a comment which I support. He said mail-order brides are the wrong solution for people like TGI. I agree with that. He said we should all stop talking about autistic people being inferior. I agree with that too. He said the kind of crap people have been saying in L&D perpetuates a bad myth about autism. I agree with that thirdly. Then, he said we should stop talking about blow-up dolls. I agree with that too, insofar as none of this is relevant to The Grand Inquisitor's thread. Even though I couldn't care less if a person uses a blow-up doll, there was no reason for people to take the "mail-order bride" topic away from Boo's "Looks" thread, and spam it onto TGI. That's the only reason Twilight mentioned dolls in the first place.

Then KK said talking like this (about autistic people being inferior, about mail-order brides, and about sex dolls), makes us look bad. I AGREE WITH HIM.

What part of all my rants says otherwise, ever?!
KK was saying exactly what I've said all along.

He said it makes "US" look bad. In my opinion that means it makes THE SITE look bad. Again I agree. This is a public website and in the past 36 hours it was spammed with a lot of negative rhetoric against any number of its own autistic members including poor TGI who is already suicidal.

When he said it makes us look bad I posted "if the shoe fits wear it", meaning that the people who make the site look bad should be held accountable. KK was not one of those people. It seems like he misunderstood and took it personally. I clarified and said it wasn't aimed at him. The gif was aimed at the people who are ruining the reputation of Wrong Planet. I don't want to be held responsible for this site being the laughing stock of autism fora, and I'm sure KK doesn't either.

What don't you understand about that?

Also, why do you assume that just because I happen to agree with another member who has a vagina (as far as I know), that we are in a conspiracy or a clique?

Are men in conspiracies or cliques if they happen to agree on topics around the site?

Why am I not in a conspiracy with 1986 or CF or any other member who doesn't support trash-talking autism (even if they have a penis?)

Kraftie and I have had a long friendship going back to 2018.

I don't know wtf you're even on about, but do explain.

As for sex dolls, I don't give a rat's arse who agrees with me or not.
Live and let live so long as you're not exploiting or buying other people to use as whores.

!	Cornflake wrote:
	I think it's only fair that, after one extensive off-topic block was removed, I don't allow another to take its place. So please, let this be an end to it. I don't want to remove posts but if it continues, I will do so in order to keep the thread on-topic. As I'd said earlier, report any posts causing concern.

Since the onset of puberty, the one thing I've wanted more than anything is to have a romantic partner. There is nothing in this world that I wanted to experience more than a coming-of-age relationship.

Despite my fervent interest, I missed out on dating during that stage of my life, and now I'm never going get to experience dating as a teen or young adult. Not only am I dealing with the grief from never getting to date during those stages of my life, but I'm actively going through the same difficulties now as I was back then, and with no end in sight.

The fact that I could end up 30 years old, 40 years old, 50 years old or beyond without ever having dated, with more relationshipless stages of my life to grieve, having to have my first girlfriend so much later than I really wanted to if I ever get to have one at all, feeling completely unwanted and having to deal with the escalating stigma of having no experience. This is a very upsetting potential reality, and one that I find so repulsive that I can't make peace with it under any circumstances. If I can't accept my reality, but I also lack the influence to exert the necessary change over it, the only option I can see where I'm free of immense suffering involves removing myself from the equation entirely.

What's sad is it didn't have to be this way. If I'd been able to have my fill of dating and relationship experience as a younger man and I found myself single now, I believe I'd be totally fine.

The problem for me isn't being single in and of itself. It's not having had any dating and relationship success at all as a man in his mid 20s.

I feel worthless and undesirable as a heterosexual man, and if being lonely and having no romantic prospects is an ongoing problem I am to be continually tormented by, then all that awaits me is misery, loneliness and a horrible life. I'm not motivated to live that out for reasons that should be apparent.

I suggested a foreign bride, but I was suggesting joining a website that introduces you to women. I've seen a lot of people in the UK married to foreign brides who would otherwise be single.

I suppose it's not the best situation because it probably ends up bad for one or both parties sometimes. I've also seen happy marriages result from such a pairing though.
It's probably disadvantaging people in the poorer countries that women are fleeing though.
I started suggesting it because those who have been chronically single for over ten years can have suicidal thoughts or even attempts of suicide.

I find the prospect of a serious, long-distance relationship with someone I haven't met before challenging for multiple reasons. Spending time together in-person is very important, both to enjoy the relationship and screen for compatibility, and being from different countries drastically limits how feasible that is. I also don't have the finances to be a provider if that is required of me.

Finding a woman to talk to from far away would help tie me over in the meantime, but a long-distance relationship comes with a lot of logistical issues that need to be navigated through.

I've pondered whether there might be another country I could move to where I would fair better with their dating culture, but I don't think there are any that are significantly better.

I recommend the Philipines.
A friend has secured a partner from there.
Caucasian males are very sort after, and it has very cheap living expenses.
But you would have to have some sort of income stream if you went there to live.

Getting to know each other at least a year before deciding to form a committed relationship is a good idea, for many reasons, regardless of whether you happen to be the person more-at-risk or less-at-risk for any given specific issue.

"Friendship before romance" is my motto.

(Bold and underlining mine.)

Unfortunately, I would be inclined to replace "Despite" in the above paragraph with "At least partly because of."

It seems to me that such an intense emotional attachment to the idea of a romantic relationship is intrinsically self-defeating. It is, in and of itself, likely to drive away many potential partners. It also, by your own account, deprives you of the energy and focus you would need in order to improve your situation in ways that would make it easier for you to attract a partner. It also deprives you of patience in your dealings with women whom you are attracted to.

I'm not generally a Buddhist, but it does seem to me that your posts are an extreme example of the second of Buddhism's four noble truths: "The cause of suffering is craving."

Well it's there, it's had a long time to fester having gone unfulfilled for so long, and it's not going to ease up one bit until I can get some satisfaction with my love life.



It took several years to reach this point, but yes, I'm at the point now where I need romantic acceptance of some kind in order to have any desire to continue living. Obviously while I feel hopeless and lack the desire to be alive, I'm not going to have energy, focus or patience to do very much.

I'm past the point where deferring that romantic gratification i crave more than anything while I improve my situation is viable. It's never worked before, so I don't have faith in it working now, and I don't care to make all the effort and reap none of the benefits again for the umpteenth time.

Either I'll find a way to fill the romantic void in my life and be in a better position to continue progressing, or I'll be forced to take my own life to escape the pain I'm in.

Given that the intensity of your unfulfilled desires has you caught in a vicious circle, impelling you to take a cart-before-horse approach that makes the first of your above-stated alternatives extremely unlikely, I really hope you find another way out besides killing yourself.

Some kind of Buddhist practice, maybe?

(As I said, I'm not a Buddhist myself, but, based on what little I know about Buddhism, it seems tailor-made for people who, like you, are caught in vicious circles of unfulfilled craving. You're definitely a poster child for the first three of Buddhism's "four noble truths," especially the second one.)