What Am I Even Supposed To Do To?

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I'm wondering whether it's best that I retire my account here.

All I'm really doing is sharing my misery, and I haven't been considerate of the effect my undistilled honesty might have on people's triggers.

I rarely post about anything other than my dating issues, so I'm not being a good site contributor, and as has been said, it seems that I'm unlikely to find what I'm looking for here.

I don't know where to turn to, if there's anywhere I can turn to. I don't have many people to talk to, so that's why I've been seeking help here. As I've mentioned, the hotlines haven't been able to help either.

Getting what I need now seems both highly unlikely and largely outside of everyone's control, but I've dealt with these unmet needs and desires for far too long already and I can't handle it. I can't handle being half way to 27 with no dating experience. I can't handle not feeling wanted romantically. There's not even any reason to believe that things will improve. How can they when my emotional wellbeing, self-esteem and will to exist have been ground down by the force of intense needs I can't fulfill?

I need a way to placate my need to be accepted as a heterosexual man by a heterosexual woman. I can't handle this. It's a hell I would wish on no one.

you're a valued member cos you're posting about something many of us deal with

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. It's understandable that you're struggling with these feelings of loneliness and despair, especially since it sounds like you've been trying to put yourself out there but haven't had much luck.

It's important to remember that everyone has their own timeline when it comes to dating and relationships. Just because you haven't had a girlfriend yet doesn't mean that you never will. It's also important to recognize that the current pandemic situation has made it more difficult to meet new people and make connections in person.

That being said, there are still some things you can try to help increase your chances of meeting someone. You mentioned that you co-host trivia nights - that's a great start! Even if there aren't many women your age attending, just getting out and socializing in a low-pressure environment can help you build confidence and potentially make new connections.

You could also try expanding your interests or finding new ones. This could lead you to meet new people who share similar hobbies or passions, and who knows, you might even meet someone special.

It's understandable that you're hesitant to try online dating again, but it might be worth giving it another shot. There are many different dating apps and websites out there, so don't be discouraged if the first one didn't work out for you. Just remember to be patient and keep an open mind.

Finally, it's important to prioritize self-care and focus on building your self-esteem and confidence. This might involve therapy, meditation, exercise, or any other activities that make you feel good about yourself. Remember, you are worthy of love and companionship, and you deserve to be happy.

I'm trapped in a predicament I see no way out of.

I've had it wanting to be able to date,.wanting romantic companionship, wanting validation as a heterosexual man, and having to suffer without any of it, without the ability to get any of it, and without any reason to believe I won't continue to suffer as I am now until it's too late.

I'm not accepting a reality where pretty much everyone around me has been able to have what I want more than anything, and I'm instead burdened with insecurities around being inexperienced. Being inexperienced in an area where I've wanted nothing more than to gain experience over the last decade and a half!

I'm done with this crap. I'm not playing this game anymore. If I can't satisfy this need for romantic acceptance and connection in the near future then I'm not going to bother getting a job unless it's a job I actually like, or doing anything other than extracting what little hedonistic pleasure I can from drugs and food until I run out of money and I'm faced with even more dire circumstances that will finally force my hand to take my own life. I'm not going to go be miserable at some workplace only to come home and be miserable anyway.

It's really, really f*****g frustrating that I have to deal with feelings of insecurity, dejection and desperation as a result of my inability to date, and these feelings further inhibit my ability to make connections. I can't deal with never having had a girlfriend, but I also completely lack confidence in my ability to attract a prospective partner. I'm not in an optimal mental state to be putting myself out there and meeting people, but I also can't handle having nobody showing any kind of romantic interest in me.

I don't see any reason to believe my love life will improve. All available evidence suggests it probably won't.

There are so many things I despise about my situation that I can't even articulate them all

Have you heard of the book "The Menu" by Aaron Cleary? It might be worth checking out.

I went back and read your posts on this thread to get a better idea of you and your situation. You are 26, or maybe 27 by now. It is not hopeless at that age. I didn't get my first girlfriend until I was 29, so anything is possible. I know all about missing out on high school romance, college romance, and that, and still do ruminate about it sometimes. I just have a kind of obsessive mind, sounds like you do also.

You live in a large city, have an eBike, and were smoking pot everyday. Now here is a plan that I haven't seen anyone else mention yet. Find a couple of Narcotics Anonymous (NA) groups in your area and start attending meetings there. They should have meetings at several different times during the day, so one will fit into your schedule. You will most likely meet women there are who similar to you in age, as well as some much older. Most groups are very welcoming to new people, and try this even if you don't want to quit smoking weed. After a little while you might find that you actually have the desire to quit, which would be an improvement in your life.

Keep going on a regular basis and you will be able to open up more and share at meetings, and will make friends, both male and female, at these groups. They often have some outside activities as well or get together as a group after a meeting to go out for dinner, or coffee, or something like that. It will give you a chance to speak one on one with some women in a safer environment.

The longer you attend, the more your self confidence will grow. You will probably get a sponsor who you can share things with, and who will help you take the 12 steps of recovery which will help to heal your past pain.

If you try a couple of NA groups and they seem really disorganized or really bad, you could try Alcoholics Anonymous meetings as well. They usually have plenty of people there who identify as addicts. Maybe you have trouble with Alcohol as well. Attending these meetings is a way you can improve yourself and your social situation and meet women. Don't be afraid to talk to these women either, although I realize that that can be scary at times.

Good luck if you decide to go this route-I met my wife in a recovery group (not NA)

To be honest, much of the time I think it sucks. I wonder what must be wrong with me, think of all of the fun and good times I missed, how much better my life would be today, etc. etc

The problem with that thinking is that it is based on hypotheticals. I can't really know what it would have been like, because I didn't experience it. I can only guess based on what I saw other people doing. Yes, my life might be better today, but I also might have knocked someone up when I was 20 and had to drop out of college and get married and working a crappy job today, or dying of AIDS today or other bad stuff. You just never know, all that happened is what happened.

My best friend in graduate school was one of those guys who could get any girl he wanted. It made his life so good that he drank himself to death in 2015.