Do Aspies miss their partners?

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Yet sometimes something small (like not wanting to see me) tips me over and I feel this is just a friendship for him and I should quit my wishful thinking and end it.

Personally, I think the most important question to consider is what he would do for you in a serious crisis. For example, if you were suddenly to become seriously ill or injured, would he visit you in the hospital, contact your family, and do what he could to help you keep things under control on the home front?

Have the two of you ever been through any kind of serious crisis together, so far?

In response to the title-question: yes, eventually. But the more important thing makes this fact pretty insignificant, unfortunately.

The truth of the matter cannot be ran forever from.

Hi, I am a woman with ASD (Aspergers) and I don't know your boyfriend, or how his autism affects him, but I think the problem is you are putting your evaluation of his actions based upon what your own intentions would be. As in, if you forgot someone's birthday, especially someone you're dating, that would mean you don't care that much?

For example I have a dysfunction to connecting with my partner and I have to work hard to achieve it. It's frustrating but it pushes me to need more time with my s\o before the intimacy is achieved. I'm also not interested in sex as much as emotional stuff, a mix of things including significant trauma in my childhood and later in many relationships. Took me a long time to realize it.

When we're talking about someone expressing to someone else they're 'clingy' we're talking about a position of superiority. There are varying degrees of needs. Commonly people fall in love and get intense. Narcs, antisocials etc. won't understand this fact when explained, for example. You would not be having your own needs or personality in their view, and they could not accept they're flawed because it would severely complicate their view of themselves due to deep insecurities, so you must be the wrong one (for them). Self preservation, mechanism of reaction\adaptation.

Have you spoken to your boyfriend about your feelings?

Unless I'm told what they expect, things like that don't occur to me. Yes, I am that stupid in relationships. I am that person who thinks, "I'm fine" really means I'm fine when everyone else in the room knows it means the opposite. It sucks. I hate it that I've accidentally hurt people who have meant the world to me.

So, I have to ask... does he know that this is a problem for you? Does he know he is making you feel like you don't matter to him? I have to gently remind here that he is not a mind reader. If you've had this conversation a million times before and he keeps ignoring you, run. .

A general trend is that we don't hint, we don't speak between the lines, we don't read between the lines, and that what we say is what we mean, it is not less than we mean, and it is not more than we mean.
It IS what we mean.
Plain language.
Face value.

Now, another factor could be that thing about transitions and changes.
We aspies, autistics, frequently need time to process and digest changes and transitions; a different and often greater amount of time from the typical neurotypical person.
Sort of "My ways of doing life were disrupted while I was on the trip, let me get them reestablished and then I will have a reestablished foundation from which I can do other things."

Hello Flea, thank you for sharing your world, not rambling at all .
Yes, he knows about my feelings. And we have this conversation every six months or so. We then find a work-around, like him sending images, when texting back is too cumbersome. So we both try and it is often successful. But he also knows that in the last 5 months, I've doubted his feelings a lot. We both chose no to talk about it as we had a project and needed to use the little time we had to get it done. Also, sometimes things get better on their own. But during all of this time, even though he knows, how insecure I feel right now, there was no extra little effort, no present, no extra "good night text", no plan for like my birthday, no dinner-invitiation. Just him being his friendly, dependable self, but nothing extra. And it is so hard to just chalk that up to his autism. Often I think: Maybe I am simply not someone for him who is special enough for him to make this effort. Maybe he want me to leave but is afraid of telling me.
(By the way, I'm not just expecting things, I initiate a lot of loving contact, like I'll massage him, help him with work stuff, get him things he needs without him asking me. I adjust to his ways. And tell him how amazing and special I find him, whenever it occurs to me. I often wrote love letters (but stopped, as he does not answer them 90 % of the time.)

I’m not an Aspie.

Sometimes, I “miss” people. But a yearning for companionship is rare, though I feel delighted when I hang out with friends without argument.

If I feel secure in my loving relationship, I don’t “miss” her when she’s gone. Although if we break up, I mourn the breakup.

I usually refer all people on the spectrum as Aspies.