Agreed that Zakatar shouldn't be looking in "bars and other vanity fairs."
But, to be fair, Zakatar is talking about the situation of "average-looking, average-earning" autistic men, not "average-looking, average-earning" NT men, and he's talking specifically about the situation of a 26-year old autistic man living in
today's world, in which the overall dating situation for young heterosexual men has apparently gotten worse than it was even 10 years ago, for whatever reasons.
But the solution certainly
isn't to try to guilt-trip autistic women into dating autistic men. I personally do have an autistic partner, but we certainly can't and shouldn't dictate that other autistic women make a similar choice. People have the right not to be forced or guilt-tripped into relationships with any particular set of people.
And, even if every heterosexual or bisexual autistic woman were to choose an autistic male partner, there would still be plenty of autistic men left over, given the high ratio men to women diagnosed with autism.
Perhaps it might help if some well-funded organization were to launch a public relations campaign, aimed at women in general, about the
advantages of relationships with (at least some) autistic men. See the following articles regarding these advantages:
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7 Reasons to Date an Autistic Man-
What to Know When Starting a Relationship with an Autistic Person-
Dating Someone With AutismSuch a campaign might, alas, have the bad side-effect of giving some unscrupulous NT women the idea of exploiting autistic men in one way or another. Alas, NT's (of both sexes) exploiting autistic partners (of both sexes) is already a known problem.
So there would also need to be some sort of campaign aimed at autistic people (both men and women) on how to avoid potential partners who are likely to exploit us.
I think the biggest challenge for us ultimately comes down to the male gender role in dating requiring us to be outgoing and read non-verbal cues. Dating would be so much easier for me personally if I was occasionally approached by an interested woman who made her interest explicit. I would have a good idea of how to navigate the situation from there.
23 Jan 2023, 7:05 pm
