Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Autism - "different" or "inferior" WRT relationships?

Page 7 of 10 [ 156 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

20 Feb 2023, 4:36 am

uncommondenominator wrote:
Maybe it's my lack of social skills, but I just don't understand the act of being smug, about being right, about being worthless.

Fine, you're right. We're all worthless. Feel better? Does that alleviate you in some way?

I suppose if we're gonna be useless, we may as well at least look good doing it, so maybe you got a point there.


No one said we're worthless or anyone is.

Why you are insisting on putting words in others' mouths, stirring drama while there's none?



Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 26,635
Location: Australia

20 Feb 2023, 4:40 am

uncommondenominator wrote:
Maybe it's my lack of social skills, but I just don't understand the act of being smug, about being right, about being worthless.

Fine, you're right. We're all worthless. Feel better? Does that alleviate you in some way?

I suppose if we're gonna be useless, we may as well at least look good doing it, so maybe you got a point there.


Could you cut and paste where anyone has suggested that?



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

20 Feb 2023, 4:41 am

And I think we have the right that some of us don't believe in the "neurodiversity" movement.

Personally I don't, I see it similar to a cult, I see it as a faith-based movement and not much based on research. This whole idea that autism is an "evoluntionary variation", not a disability, just sounds embellishing the truth to me. Humans are social creatures, so I don't know why an innate lack in social abilities would be evolutionary advantageous, maybe in some communities it is and one day globally it would be so, but I still can't see it.



1986
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Mar 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 698
Location: Tokyo

20 Feb 2023, 4:44 am

It's not black and white. Autistic people can use the knowledge available on their social struggles to find workarounds and reach a reasonable degree of success. In a way those who are aware of the reason for their struggles are better equipped to overcome them than those unaware (~undiagnosed).



Nades
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Jan 2017
Age: 1933
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,814
Location: wales

20 Feb 2023, 4:50 am

uncommondenominator wrote:
Maybe it's my lack of social skills, but I just don't understand the act of being smug, about being right, about being worthless.

Fine, you're right. We're all worthless. Feel better? Does that alleviate you in some way?

I suppose if we're gonna be useless, we may as well at least look good doing it, so maybe you got a point there.


In one facet of life, we underperform. It doesn't cover all aspects of life though only the social.

Isolated individuals exceeding at specific tasks isn't a good comparison to broadly apply with a wide brush across the entire spectrum. As a whole, autistics will always be much more limited with their socials skills and won't be able to learn as many as NT's.



uncommondenominator
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Aug 2019
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,210

20 Feb 2023, 5:00 am

Oh my, don't get all flustered about terminology now. Not after you demanded the acceptance of the word "Inferior". Which is literally in the title of the thread.

Inferior

adjective - lower in rank, status, or quality.

noun - a person lower than another in rank, status, or ability.

Useless

adjective - not fulfilling or not expected to achieve the intended purpose or desired outcome.

Adjective - having no ability or skill in a specified activity or area.

Worthless

adjective - having no real value or use.

Something which is inferior, does not achieve the desired outcomes, and therefore has no worth. Seems pretty logical to me. Isn't that literally why you're focusing on "other things"? Cos the social skills are inferior / useless / worthless, and need something else to to take their place? So, go be inferior - don't let me hold you back from mediocrity.

Nades wrote:
In one facet of life, we underperform. It doesn't cover all aspects of life though only the social.


Oh, my bad. We're SOCIALLY useless. Fortunately, we can still stand around and look good, right?



Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 26,635
Location: Australia

20 Feb 2023, 5:16 am

Nades wrote:
uncommondenominator wrote:
Maybe it's my lack of social skills, but I just don't understand the act of being smug, about being right, about being worthless.

Fine, you're right. We're all worthless. Feel better? Does that alleviate you in some way?

I suppose if we're gonna be useless, we may as well at least look good doing it, so maybe you got a point there.


In one facet of life, we underperform. It doesn't cover all aspects of life though only the social.

Isolated individuals exceeding at specific tasks isn't a good comparison to broadly apply with a wide brush across the entire spectrum. As a whole, autistics will always be much more limited with their socials skills and won't be able to learn as many as NT's.


Yep.
Not many Eisteins around.



Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 26,635
Location: Australia

20 Feb 2023, 5:21 am

uncommondenominator wrote:
Oh my, don't get all flustered about terminology now. Not after you demanded the acceptance of the word "Inferior". Which is literally in the title of the thread.

Inferior

adjective - lower in rank, status, or quality.

noun - a person lower than another in rank, status, or ability.

Useless

adjective - not fulfilling or not expected to achieve the intended purpose or desired outcome.

Adjective - having no ability or skill in a specified activity or area.

Worthless

adjective - having no real value or use.

Something which is inferior, does not achieve the desired outcomes, and therefore has no worth. Seems pretty logical to me. Isn't that literally why you're focusing on "other things"? Cos the social skills are inferior / useless / worthless, and need something else to to take their place? So, go be inferior - don't let me hold you back from mediocrity.

Nades wrote:
In one facet of life, we underperform. It doesn't cover all aspects of life though only the social.


Oh, my bad. We're SOCIALLY useless. Fortunately, we can still stand around and look good, right?


Are you OK?
Are you in need of assistance?
Why the aggression?



uncommondenominator
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Aug 2019
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,210

20 Feb 2023, 5:24 am

Pepe wrote:
uncommondenominator wrote:
Oh my, don't get all flustered about terminology now. Not after you demanded the acceptance of the word "Inferior". Which is literally in the title of the thread.

Inferior

adjective - lower in rank, status, or quality.

noun - a person lower than another in rank, status, or ability.

Useless

adjective - not fulfilling or not expected to achieve the intended purpose or desired outcome.

Adjective - having no ability or skill in a specified activity or area.

Worthless

adjective - having no real value or use.

Something which is inferior, does not achieve the desired outcomes, and therefore has no worth. Seems pretty logical to me. Isn't that literally why you're focusing on "other things"? Cos the social skills are inferior / useless / worthless, and need something else to to take their place? So, go be inferior - don't let me hold you back from mediocrity.

Nades wrote:
In one facet of life, we underperform. It doesn't cover all aspects of life though only the social.


Oh, my bad. We're SOCIALLY useless. Fortunately, we can still stand around and look good, right?


Are you OK?
Are you in need of assistance?
Why the aggression?


Providing definitions to words is aggression? :scratch:

TIL.

Here's another one

Gaslighting

to manipulate another person into doubting their own perceptions, experiences or understanding of events

Ooooohh! Lookit meeeee! Sooooo aggressiivve!! ! :jester:

Must be the autism. It gives me inferior social skills, you know.



Nades
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Jan 2017
Age: 1933
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,814
Location: wales

20 Feb 2023, 5:30 am

uncommondenominator wrote:
Pepe wrote:
uncommondenominator wrote:
Oh my, don't get all flustered about terminology now. Not after you demanded the acceptance of the word "Inferior". Which is literally in the title of the thread.

Inferior

adjective - lower in rank, status, or quality.

noun - a person lower than another in rank, status, or ability.

Useless

adjective - not fulfilling or not expected to achieve the intended purpose or desired outcome.

Adjective - having no ability or skill in a specified activity or area.

Worthless

adjective - having no real value or use.

Something which is inferior, does not achieve the desired outcomes, and therefore has no worth. Seems pretty logical to me. Isn't that literally why you're focusing on "other things"? Cos the social skills are inferior / useless / worthless, and need something else to to take their place? So, go be inferior - don't let me hold you back from mediocrity.

Nades wrote:
In one facet of life, we underperform. It doesn't cover all aspects of life though only the social.


Oh, my bad. We're SOCIALLY useless. Fortunately, we can still stand around and look good, right?


Are you OK?
Are you in need of assistance?
Why the aggression?


Providing definitions to words is aggression? :scratch:

TIL.

Here's another one

Gaslighting

to manipulate another person into doubting their own perceptions, experiences or understanding of events

Ooooohh! Lookit meeeee! Sooooo aggressiivve!! ! :jester:


Nobody has said useless or worthless. Your definition of inferior isn't accurate too.



Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 26,635
Location: Australia

20 Feb 2023, 5:38 am

Nades wrote:

Nobody has said useless or worthless. Your definition of inferior isn't accurate too.


Seems to be a case of "Misrepresentation".



uncommondenominator
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Aug 2019
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,210

20 Feb 2023, 5:41 am

Nades wrote:

Nobody has said useless or worthless. Your definition of inferior isn't accurate too.


I pulled that definition of inferior, as well as useless and worthless, directly from Oxford Languages. Go tell them they're wrong.

So Inferior is ok, but useless or worthless aren't? Picky picky word police doesn't like "different", it's too wishy washy, they're INFERIOR and that's a FACT - but hey now, just cos they're inferior doesn't mean they aren't any good!

So they're inferior, cos they don't work, but they're NOT useless? Sorry, but if I have an inferior tool that can't perform a job, it's useless. Kinda how that works. Don't get all offended just cos your own word has implications you suddenly don't like the sound of.

Perhaps regale us with the Nades Approved Definition of "inferior".



Nades
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Jan 2017
Age: 1933
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,814
Location: wales

20 Feb 2023, 5:50 am

uncommondenominator wrote:
Nades wrote:

Nobody has said useless or worthless. Your definition of inferior isn't accurate too.


I pulled that definition of inferior, as well as useless and worthless, directly from Oxford Languages. Go tell them they're wrong.

So Inferior is ok, but useless or worthless aren't? Picky picky word police doesn't like "different", it's too wishy washy, they're INFERIOR and that's a FACT - but hey now, just cos they're inferior doesn't mean they aren't any good!

So they're inferior, cos they don't work, but they're NOT useless? Sorry, but if I have an inferior tool that can't perform a job, it's useless. Kinda how that works. Don't get all offended just cos your own word has implications you suddenly don't like the sound of.

Perhaps regale us with the Nades Approved Definition of "inferior".


This isn't what inferior means



uncommondenominator
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Aug 2019
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,210

20 Feb 2023, 5:51 am

Nades wrote:
uncommondenominator wrote:
Nades wrote:

Nobody has said useless or worthless. Your definition of inferior isn't accurate too.


I pulled that definition of inferior, as well as useless and worthless, directly from Oxford Languages. Go tell them they're wrong.

So Inferior is ok, but useless or worthless aren't? Picky picky word police doesn't like "different", it's too wishy washy, they're INFERIOR and that's a FACT - but hey now, just cos they're inferior doesn't mean they aren't any good!

So they're inferior, cos they don't work, but they're NOT useless? Sorry, but if I have an inferior tool that can't perform a job, it's useless. Kinda how that works. Don't get all offended just cos your own word has implications you suddenly don't like the sound of.

Perhaps regale us with the Nades Approved Definition of "inferior".


This isn't what inferior means


Perhaps regale us with the Nades Approved Definition of "inferior".



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

20 Feb 2023, 5:59 am

"a person lower than another in rank, status, or ability" is a correct definition though.

In cambridge dictionary they also say

"worse than average, or not as good as others of the same type".

That's accurate too.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

20 Feb 2023, 6:02 am

I get what's going on, the word 'inferior' simply has some other negative synonmys, negative connotations, so some are emotically reacted badly to it, fine. Let's use the more medically accepted terms: Deficient, underdeveloped or worse than average. Happy now?