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- stands up their own child when they haven't seen them in years
- does crack in front of that child when they see each other
- leaves their child by saying "Bye kid", and walking away with their dealer
- without hugging their child ^
- knowing it's likely the last time they'll ever see them

I am new here, but everyone here has said all the things I have learned along the way as well.
A big one for me is talking about Sex when you aren't ready and when you decline or get brave and ask them not to talk about it, they SAY ok, but do it again anyway.
Anybody can SAY anything. I could SAY I am the emperor of the moon, but that doesn't make it true. Watch what they do because words are cheap and especially with most NT. Its kind of how theyy operate by default it may not be malicious dishonesty is a part of their communication natively but it is most prevelant in dating. For them I have noticed this kind of mutual agreed dishonesty like they both know a thing isn't true, but if you mention it its weird. I don't understand it, but I know thats how it goes. So watch what they do do not lean on their words.
Also most times if a person says:
"I am a good person" 9/10 probably not a good person
"I am an honest person" 9/10 probably not an honest person
"You can trust me" 9/10 probably cannot trust that person
"I am very respectful" 9/10 probably not a very respectful person
Sorry if I sound cynical but I have only had one time that the person said what they meant and didn't use filler words, or chit chat and understood me and it was another Autie. Take it for what it is, just my own opinion. Good luck, I hope you find what you are looking for. Love is hard I can't do it

Wise words, but I've known some people who "watch what I do" and impose their own meaning to it without listening when I explain. They think they can determine what my actions mean because I guess they're mind readers or psychics (if not just suffering from classic paranoia or delusions).

In general I think you're right, such that it doesn't matter what a person says if they're doing horrible things like hurting animals, being abusive to you, or clearly cheating on you etc., but watch out if they start analyzing everything you do and saying there's some sort of malicious intent, especially if they reject your truthful explanation by saying your words don't matter, or by disallowing and invalidating your attempts at self-defence.




I agree again. Most of the time people don't need to engage in shameless self-promotion like that, but sometimes as in what I described above, the person has been pushed into saying these things by paranoid individuals who accuse them of being bad, dishonest, untrustworthy, or unworthy of respect in the first place.

For example, if my partner decided incorrectly that I was cheating on them by watching my actions and making faulty inferences, or assigning some kind of cryptic meaning to things they didn't understand, I might counter by telling them they misjudged me, and why. Maybe I was actually going to the store to buy them a gift etc.

If they continued to say I was cheating I would tell them they were wrong, and that they could trust me, or that I was being honest, or that I was being respectful. They would have cornered me into using those words. Then chances are they would attack me for it because, like you said, most of the time honest people don't need to highlight their own credibility.

Some unstable people create these situations to be a Catch22 so that you're wrong no matter what you do. If you don't explain yourself you're wrong because they impose a false narrative and insist it's true, or blame you for it. If you do explain yourself or tell them you're being truthful, they attack you for using that vernacular and say that you're virtue signalling, or whatever.

It's classic gaslighting. There's no way to reason with people like this.




I've been attacked in these ways by autistic people, ND people, NT people, and all genders. Neurotype hasn't made a difference in my opinion, but the person's mental health and level of paranoia or malice has.

Love is very hard and not for the feint of heart. So are all relationships.


PS Welcome to WP, by the way! Great post!

You mentioned that you're a content creator. I hope you'll share a link some time. I'm a YouTube mod myself.