How did your childhood impact your love life?

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I find this topic interesting and wanted to see what you all had to say about it. It can be either positive or negative stuff.

I've talked about it elsewhere, but I think that my timidity and tendency of being a doormat are largely due to being harshly disciplined as a kid. As a young child, I was outgoing, stubborn, wonderfully annoying, and similar to my Practically-Perfect-in-Every-Way, online presence.

There was a big emphasis in my church on "molding" children to be obedient followers. It's hard to fully describe, but it's hard to speak up and speak out when you've been raised to have no voice.

There was a lot of weirdness surrounding sex, too - no sex education, masturbation was considered wrong, etc.

I talked about all this stuff elsewhere. I am just curious to hear what you have to say.

The childhood affects everything, even the shape of your brain, not just the love life.

I know that childhood affects everyone in complex ways that are often hard to pinpoint. I was just curious about defining moments, things that stand out, and stuff like that.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 09 Sep 2023, 4:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It was a generalist « Your », not yours in specific. Applies on everyone.

Yeah, I know.

Well, I dunno where to even start.

I was bullied by my brother as a child, ignored by my father for the most part, and had untreated, misunderstood health conditions that were joked about.

I received no kind of sex education until I was in high school at 13 years old or so, so I went through early childhood quite naively.

I'm not sure how this has affected my love life, but it seems to have shaped my personality somewhat.

It seems easy for me. Some things are crystal clear and obvious, but I've been thinking about it a lot lately and have been watching YouTube videos on the topic.

I can relate to being bullied by a brother and ignored by a father. My dad is very distant.

I was told where babies came from in a really general sense, but that's it. I didn't know what a boner was until I saw one as an adult.

My favourite family member is my Mum. She is next-level awesome.

I just picked up the basics through going to a regular primary school, where various things were discussed. But it wasn't until high school that I differentiated between the words 'shagged' and 'snogged' for example.

I'm glad that you have a good relationship with your mom.

These days, my brother is my favorite family member. He's an awesome person.

Thanks.



That's nice.

Unfortunately, I experienced violence in my childhood when I came out to someone and someone else overheard. The attack was quite serious and even now I can't fully recall it.

It took me a while to work through that. Even though I wanted to be out, I was scared. My throat would dry up, I'd forget how to form sentences and the memory haunted me. Yet I didn't want it to have so much control over my life. So I pushed through and said the words even though it was difficult. Eventually I stopped going into panic mode and coming out to people became easy. I was able to talk about it casually.

However, that event did mean I went back into the closet for two years. Even after those two years it was still difficult, but I worked through the trauma. I was still painfully shy though and wasn't ready to date.

So I focused on my studies instead. I met some great people along the way. Many of which were also a part of the LGBT community. Unfortunately I lost a great deal of my time at University to a worldwide Pandemic. Then I graduated, moved away from my support network, got a job and forgot about everything else whilst slowly becoming rather miserable. I certainly learnt about the importance of a healthy work life balance, ha.

Now I've got a date planned next week. No idea how that's going to go.

I remember when I came out to my mum at eighteen and she said 'Huh, I thought you'd come out in your mid twenties'. Funny how things work out.

One time a friend of mine, whom is also gay, once remarked that I had it easy and that he bet I'd always been accepted. I laughed bitterly and explained how that wasn't the case. He apologised.

^

I'm really sorry you experienced that. That's horrific! It sounds like you might have PTSD. What do you think?

I've never gotten over being painfully shy. It sucks. When you experience violence based on who you are and/or on your identity, it would often be difficult or, at least, take some time to feel comfortable being yourself around others, I think.

Well a lot of people actually find love in their childhood but that isn't true for everyone

My parents loved each other but used to fight about sex and it put a strain on their marriage so I guess in a way I have learned about the trials and tribulations of marital life from them!

Thanks to them I feel more prepared to take on marriage and a romantic relationship