What's your biggest issue when it comes to L&D?

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id say the biggest problem is that i am a basically a hermit. i dont really go outside of general area of my home often.

after that its a combination of me being socially clueless and having to get to know someone before i can be interested in them romantically

Finding someone. I do try to get out, but bars/clubs are a no-go for me and most of the women in the Autistic social groups I’m part of are either a lot older than me, already in relationships (usually with NTs…), or not interested in dating period.

Back when I was single, the biggest issue was all the women who "confessed" to being lesbians, engaged, married, or otherwise unavailable when I offered them a date; but who would then become very interested in me when I started dating someone else.  I never could understand why most of the women I knew would not express interest in me unless I was already in a relationship.

I still don't.

The best way to find a date is to wear a wedding ring. Women too. ^

It's a strange psychological phenomenon that seems to attract people to what they may want but cannot get.

Huh?

Can you elaborate on this?

Also what about trying on wedding dresses at a thrift shop or bridal salon

Would that make a difference to getting married?

People are attracted to what they can't have, whether that's right or wrong.
Rings make people appear loved and cherished.
Unringed people give the air that no one was interested.

I'm not saying I think that way, but it's known to be true.
When I wear my engagement ring all sorts of men chat me up.

Whoa that's strange!

Maybe I should try that if Jerry doesn't work out

Because being in a relationship showed that another female had given you the "Good enough seal of approval." She did the screening so they didn't have to.

Single parent to two adult but high needs kids. It takes up a lot of my time and energy.

Even without that, I need a lot of time to myself. I get overwhelmed and frazzled, and need time to go through things and let the quiet in.

Issues around vulnerability and, relatedly, intimacy. Trusting people and feeling safe. Guarding my 'self'. A common complaint has been being withdrawn, a lack of emotional expression/openness/connection. There's part of a truth there, but also, it's part a matter of communication style.

I think I was a bit overconfident when I was younger and that was a bit scary and offputting. I was too direct and upfront too soon because I'm just a very matter-of-fact person.

I was thinking about this the other day and I also don't take suggestions very well if the other person is basing their suggestion on solely their own past experience and they aren't really listening to what I'm saying or can't comprehend what I'm saying. I think certain men tried to be genuinely helpful about certain things in my life (my family) that I had already learned to deal with and were offended that I rebuffed their advice. Some of the "advice" annoyed me and they could tell. They didn't take it as overstepping or me being annoyed that they *weren't listening to me*. They just thought I was disagreeable. I probably weeded out some guys who didn't really respect me, but at the same time I feel like I need someone with similarish family issues or they just won't understand how I deal with my parents. But then do I really want someone else who understands what it's like to be a parentified child? Do I want in-laws who are inept? Am I better off on my own?

Same. I've already been humiliated by a man because he wasn't happy that I was paying him for a drink. I have the impression that it is repulsive in both men and women. People seem to prefer people who are more subtle.
My partner told me that I had scared him because I was too enterprising and that he had almost left me in our first week of relationship.
For some reason I don't know, he didn't do it and it's been going on for more than ten years. He told me that it was finally fun that I was like that but he advises me to hide this aspect of me if I wanted to look for another partner.

I'm confused. What do you mean you were paying him for a drink? You paid for his drink? You paid him to take you out for a drink?

Hide the aspect of yourself that is enterprising? What does that mean? Do you agree with him?

I'm sorry, it's a bad translation from French language I think. I'm having a hard time finding the right words.
It's inviting someone to have a drink with you and paying the bill for their drink.

My partner thinks that I would be more successful if I showed myself less enterprising and more inhibited and shy in seduction relationships. I think I agree with him, saddly. I’ve had very few experiences of dates to be able to contradict him and the few I've had prove him right.

You can write in French if you want.

What's wrong with paying for someone's drink? I don't get that.

I don't get the enterprising thing either. What do you mean by enterprising? Here it means successful or resourceful. It's a good thing. Why would he want you to pretend you are shy if you aren't and what is a seduction relationship?

Sounds rather ... insincere somehow.

The guy told me that he felt "humiliated" that I was paying for his drink and he called me a "whore". He told me that it was up to men to pay for the drinks for women, not the other way around.
I don’t understand because I told him from the beginning that I was going to pay the bill, he was warned and therefore consented to this by following me. Confusing.

It is not what I meant, thank you for your help. He found that I was "too direct" and that "I was going too fast" for him. He felt "deprived of his means" and scared by my connections. It's true in hindsight that I was quick but I didn't know that it was his first time despite the fact that he had dated more people than me ... (he hadn't told me first, maybe shame?) and I actually lacked empathy instead of making sure that everything was ok for him. I was too dominant.

I can’t answer to theses questions because I am not in his head. But " seduction relationship " = " having a date ". He said to me:
"- If we should ever separate and if you want to find another partner, I will advise you to not show you’re entreprenante* and to feign shyness. The goal is to make the people you would like to seduce feel at ease and you would certainly have more success acting that way".

*Don’t know the right word in English.