Study: Women want to be self-centric in dating

Post Reply New Topic

Women reported a sense of connection to men who used appreciative language ("That's awesome" or "Good for you") and sympathy ("That must be tough on you").

Women also reported clicking with male partners who interrupted them – not as a way to redirect the conversation but to demonstrate understanding and engagement, for example, by finishing a sentence or adding to it.


Both genders reported clicking when their conversations were mainly about the women.

"You could say men are self-centered and women are always trying to please men and dates will go well if they talk about the guy, but it turns out that's just not true. It's just the opposite," McFarland said. "This is a situation in life where women have the power, women get to decide. So talking about the empowered party is a sensible strategy toward feeling connected."

While interrupting could be viewed as positive, asking a lot of questions tended to have a negative result.

"Women feel disconnected when they have to ask men questions, or when men ask them questions," the paper said. Questions were used by women to keep a lagging conversation going and by men who had nothing to say.

Successful dates, the paper notes, were associated with women being the focal point and engaged in the conversation, and men demonstrating alignment with and understanding of the women.

Shared stories also indicated a sense of connection, as did speakers who showed enthusiasm by varying their speech to get louder and softer.