Reasons women do not date us!
And they can laugh at those without autism as well. I often laugh at myself. Women seem to like that. So, if you laugh at yourself that will probably make you more successfulwith women. Regardless, you will have more fun that way.
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English is not my first language.
I've never felt that way. When people of any gender strike up a casual conversation with me I expect they're being friendly and sociable human beings. I don't assume there's a motive for friendship, hookups, or longer term relationships. I get a little anxious because I'm not good with small talk, but it seems many other people enjoy these social interactions.
People approach me when I walk my dog, etc. and I muddle through but otherwise think nothing of it.
It would be pretty strange for a random person to initiate a conversation with me in hopes of forming any kind of relationship, assuming they don't know anything about me to form that desire.
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And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
Been 10 years since a girl has come up to me and said they fancied me.
I've never gone up to any person and said I fancied them.
Nor has anyone done that to me.
You're lucky if it happened but I wouldn't sit around waiting for it to happen again.
That's not usually how it works.
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And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
Jamesy
Veteran
Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,029
Location: Near London United Kingdom
Been 10 years since a girl has come up to me and said they fancied me.
I've never gone up to any person and said I fancied them.
Nor has anyone done that to me.
You're lucky if it happened but I wouldn't sit around waiting for it to happen again.
That's not usually how it works.
Yeah come to think of it what were the chances that ever would have happened in the first place though.
Do you think most people if they were long term single would have acted on that oppurtunity?
What do you mean "acted on that opportunity"?
In most cases it would likely depend whether the recipient was also attracted to the person, not just physically or based on first impressions, but by talking to them and getting to know them.
No one wants to get involved with someone who'll turn out to be a whack job, or incompatible.
It would be pretty pathetic if the recipient tried to hook up or start a romance just because of opportunism.
_________________
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
At least you are getting to meet new people you are giving yourself a chance. Take it as a positive even if she didn't give you her number.
Did you ask for her number or just hope she'd give it?
It might be a better idea to give them your number instead.
That way, they can take their time to decide if they want to contact you.
If someone expected me to give my number on the spot, I'd always say no.
*I'm not recommending you hand your number out to women very often.
It would only be suitable if you've had a good chat and they seem comfortable.
If you're known for giving your number to "anyone" it could be a big turn-off.
_________________
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
Jamesy
Veteran
Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,029
Location: Near London United Kingdom
It might be a better idea to give them your number instead.
That way, they can take their time to decide if they want to contact you.
If someone expected me to give my number on the spot, I'd always say no.
*I'm not recommending you hand your number out to women very often.
It would only be suitable if you've had a good chat and they seem comfortable.
If you're known for giving your number to "anyone" it could be a big turn-off.
I just got shy and awkward when I spoke to her reallly
Chances are that will keep happening in the future because you don't have a lot of experience making conversation with new people. That's why we keep recommending you meet people in a variety of settings, unrelated to dating. That includes men and women. It will be easier if you don't just approach people or wait for them to approach you. If you're doing a shared activity in a social group it could help to break the ice because you'll have something to talk about.
What are your interests? I've never noticed you mention anything but personal fitness or going to the pub.
_________________
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
Jamesy
Veteran
Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,029
Location: Near London United Kingdom
What are your interests? I've never noticed you mention anything but personal fitness or going to the pub.
I like video games. I have got a ps5
Do you post in the video game threads here?
I don't really read them but I hadn't noticed you there.
You could practice writing about games, and see how the conversations go.
That could make it easier to talk about gaming in person.
_________________
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
TP loves gaming and talks about it frequently.
Same with my daughter.
Same with my son's girlfriend.
Besides, he doesn't have to talk only to women.
The idea was for him to try having conversations, period.
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And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
I AM a gamer.
One of the cool things about relationships with people who have similar interests is that it’s really easy to find things to talk about, even if you’re both shy.
If he only forms friendships with guys, some of them may have sisters and female friends.
In any event, it could be a positive thing from a social standpoint.
Something to be aware of:
https://www.businessinsider.com/gen-z-g ... 024-1?IR=T
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Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven. – Satan and TwilightPrincess
I have no doubt that said women expect men to behave this way. And that's the problem - y'all can't seem to grasp "being nice" unless it gets you something in return. And expecting it doesn't mean liking it or appreciating it. I expect you to argue and whine - doesn't make you any sexier.
If someone wanted to be really adventurous, they'd acknowledge their faults, and improve as a human being, rather than blaming everyone else and making endless excuses.
Or for a smaller adventure, how about simply saying hi to women, and NOT expecting anything in return. Uncharted territory! Unknown land! Srsly tho, that's not "adventurous" - being able to say "hello" is a basic human social function, and doing it for ulterior reasons, expected or otherwise, is manipulation or ingratiation, not "being adventurous", or even "being nice".
We seem to be waffling a bit here. Are we saying hello to our fellow human beings just to be friendly? Or are we now saying hello to women with asperations of romance, and it's so obvious they expect it? Or is it magically both, or neither, depending on which one sounds better or worse at the moment?
And anyways, wasn't one of your earlier points that money and looks were more important? You had a nice little list of excuses. Money, looks, social skills, age. If these are so very important, shouldn't you be suggesting improving those? In fact, lets talk about them.
Y'all always seem to complain about money and looks. Oh if only you had money and looks! All it would take is some money and looks! "I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller, I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her..." And y'all fret and worry about how to make money and look sexy - but then as soon as the conversation gets to social skills and personality, it's suddenly, "whelp, ain't gottem, moving on...", with ZERO attempt or consideration as to how to improve as a person.
Money and looks without personality is like a really fancy empty box. Money and looks and a bad personality is like a really fancy box with a rabid badger inside. People might be briefly interested at first, but there's nothing there to make them stay for long.
Now, if someone told me "I did this, and it worked for me", I might believe them. Someone trying to convince me they've got the right idea, but they don't have anything to show for it, I'm less inclined to believe they possess some manner of useful insight.
Of course, the "insight" usually tossed on the table tends to be little more than a rant about how and why the system is rigged against them, rather than any practical advice on how to improve their situation. Blaming "the system" conveniently absolves all responsibility, since it's not THEIR fault, it's the SYSTEM's fault. The SYSTEM needs to change, not them!
@Jamesy, yes, video games can be a way to make friends with others, or possibly even find a partner. But, approaching them with the goal to "find a partner" rather than to "have gaming friends" is still the same mistake. And bars are probably not the best place to meet gamers. Rather than going to bars, getting drunk, and wandering the streets, maybe find a gaming club to go to during reasonable hours, and quit getting drunk. Try to meet some people for reasons OTHER than dating. Learn to be around other people, and interact with them in healthy ways. You're not gonna get that at any bar.
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