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Dating people you do not really like?

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Nades
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21 Jul 2024, 5:36 pm

Fnord wrote:
Benjamin the Donkey wrote:
That sounds miserable for everyone involved.
There are far greater miseries than dating someone you don't like -- starving while homeless really sucks, for example.

Call me a 'gigolo', but having rented myself out as a male escort for women twice my age at least put food on my table and kept a roof over my head.


Well that's something worth considering.



nick007
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21 Jul 2024, 7:53 pm

I think I would rather date someone I don't like than be single. It's possible I could start liking her. Familiarity can be comforting.


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Graves Knight
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21 Jul 2024, 8:00 pm

nick007 wrote:
I think I would rather date someone I don't like than be single. It's possible I could start liking her. Familiarity can be comforting.


What happens when she tries to change you? Or take you out of your routines?


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21 Jul 2024, 8:00 pm

I’d much rather be single than date someone I don’t like.



funeralxempire
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21 Jul 2024, 8:02 pm

nick007 wrote:
I think I would rather date someone I don't like than be single.


There's days I feel this way.

TwilightPrincess wrote:
I’d much rather be single than date someone I don’t like.


And other days I feel this way.


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TwilightPrincess
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21 Jul 2024, 8:04 pm

My thinking: I’d definitely rather be in a relationship than be alone. In my experience, there’s worse things than being alone, though. A person can be lonely in a relationship too.



nick007
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21 Jul 2024, 8:11 pm

Graves Knight wrote:
nick007 wrote:
I think I would rather date someone I don't like than be single. It's possible I could start liking her. Familiarity can be comforting.


What happens when she tries to change you? Or take you out of your routines?
All three of my relationships have changed me in various ways. I do not think of myself as a constantly static person. My routines have changed various times in my life like when I was in school, after I graduated & wasn't working, when I was working, when I was in my long distance relationships, & after I moved in with Cass.


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funeralxempire
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21 Jul 2024, 8:19 pm

Graves Knight wrote:
nick007 wrote:
I think I would rather date someone I don't like than be single. It's possible I could start liking her. Familiarity can be comforting.


What happens when she tries to change you? Or take you out of your routines?


It depends on the nature of the change.


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If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing. —Malcolm X
There’s class warfare, all right, but it’s my class, the rich class, that’s making war, and we’re winning. — Warren Buffett


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21 Jul 2024, 8:28 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Graves Knight wrote:
nick007 wrote:
I think I would rather date someone I don't like than be single. It's possible I could start liking her. Familiarity can be comforting.


What happens when she tries to change you? Or take you out of your routines?


It depends on the nature of the change.


Change is scary. It could be benefit you or send you backwards.


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21 Jul 2024, 8:31 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
My thinking: I’d definitely rather be in a relationship than be alone. In my experience, there’s worse things than being alone, though. A person can be lonely in a relationship too.


Exactly. The other person doesn't understand you at all.


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funeralxempire
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21 Jul 2024, 8:33 pm

Graves Knight wrote:
Change is scary. It could be benefit you or send you backwards.


Often it's neutral and even more often it's trivial (too small to notice or matter if it's positive, neutral or negative).


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IsabellaLinton
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21 Jul 2024, 9:17 pm

I don't get the idea of having to change for someone.
Any change in a relationship should come willingly, from within.
It shouldn't be required by the other person - except minor details.


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Benjamin the Donkey
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21 Jul 2024, 9:24 pm

Fnord wrote:
Benjamin the Donkey wrote:
That sounds miserable for everyone involved.
There are far greater miseries than dating someone you don't like -- starving while homeless really sucks, for example.

Call me a 'gigolo', but having rented myself out as a male escort for women twice my age at least put food on my table and kept a roof over my head.

I dint think he was asking about dating for compensation. That's a very different thing.


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nick007
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21 Jul 2024, 9:46 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I don't get the idea of having to change for someone.
Any change in a relationship should come willingly, from within.
It shouldn't be required by the other person - except minor details.
I guess I think of it as compromising.


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IsabellaLinton
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21 Jul 2024, 9:52 pm

Compromise is tricky.

If a person is always giving up 50% they won't be happy.
That goes both ways.

Sometimes it's better to take turns being 100%.
The key is to make sure it's happening evenly.

Also some things can't be compromised 50%.
You can't decide to have half a baby, for example.


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22 Jul 2024, 3:17 am

Benjamin the Donkey wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Benjamin the Donkey wrote:
That sounds miserable for everyone involved.
There are far greater miseries than dating someone you don't like -- starving while homeless really sucks, for example.  Call me a 'gigolo', but having rented myself out as a male escort for women twice my age at least put food on my table and kept a roof over my head.
I didn't think he was asking about dating for compensation. That's a very different thing.
Dating is dating, compensated or not, and it does not matter if the man pays, the woman pays, or they both pay.