Anybody ever feel like this?

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Ok, here goes. Up until the end of last year, I had never really had a relationship before, and while I wasn't truely happy on my own, I was comfortable in my own little world...coming home from work, hopping on the net for the majority of the night, or watching tv by myself.

While I was in this relationship, we went out and did a lot of things I have never done before, or at least haven't done for a long time...like go to the movies, traveled to different places, went to local bars, etc... She also had a lot of family and other people stopping in all the time...something I wasn't used to, because I live with my mom and she is basically the only person I see the majority of the time (she has her issues as well).

When I was dating her, I was very reluctant to do these things and didn't like her family coming over all the time, but now that we have broken up, I find myself wanting all of this back(a real life that is, still unsure about her). I just feel so empty and lonely right now, I don't know what to do.

Yes. It's much, much harder to be single right after a break-up. And it takes a lot of time to get used to being single again.

Which is, I guess, the argument for
having something on the back burner.

But, I'm not that clever.

Once you fall in love, I mean really fall in love with somebody, you can never be completely content all by yourself again. It hurts. I've decided it's just an unfortunate part of growing older.
Eventually though you can fill that void with other relationships though, even better ones, and be happy by yourself on the side... which is good.
I don't mean to be unhelpful, that's just my experience. I read a poem once that expressed it very well. It rings as true to me now as the day I first read it, more than one broken (and healed) hearts ago. I didn't know the author, but her name is Goldwyn Chapman, a student at a college I once attended.

Before I loved.
Before I loved I sought the sound of silence.
Before I felt.
Before I felt I loved the sound of silence.
On empty paths, in solitude, I walked alone.
I walked alone.
There I found my only love, I brought him home.
I brought him home.
While he was there.
While he was there, he filled the sound of silence.
He taught my heart just how to hear the sounds of love.
The sounds of love.
Hand in hand, in solitude, we walked alone.
We walked alone.
With joy and love we filled our world, we two alone.
We two alone.
Now I find when silence comes, I am alone.
I am alone.

I've kind of come full circle.

I met someone who I loved so much I thought I was going crazy. Seriously.
He wasn't the most honest or faithful of people and also didn't like having and aspie and mentally ill girlfriend
so I got dumped and hurt when I found out he'd been unfaithful.

Since then, I've had a couple of 'flings' which didn't come to anything - which made me sad. I've also had an abusive relationship which was horrible. I even had to get legal advice at one point and nearly had to involve the police.

I now have another relationship but I'm finding it difficult to cope. I don't really understand relationships at all and sometimes it just feels like having a second job or like I am this persons carer or assistant or PA or maid. It just feels like too much and is overwhelming me and I am exhausted the whole time.

I've pretty much decided that I don't want relationships any more as I don't see how they can ever be a positive thing.

I'm also going to lose friends, because when people get married, and ESPECIALLY when they have children, they don't want to be friends with you if you are non-married or particularly non-parent, because you are not 'one of them' anymore. They have moved on with their lives and you haven't. They belong to a different group now. And I am apparently 'selfish' for not having children.

So basically the fact that I can't 'do' relationships is not just an issue in itself, but is also going to cause me to lose most, maybe all of the few friends that I have.

Maybe you are giving too much and not getting enough in return.



That is a really annoying and completely ret*d attitude, so you can safely ignore it.

To whom are you being selfish when you don't create more humans? Like the planet doesn't have enough already?



Anybody who would ditch your friendship for not getting married and having kids isn't a true friend.

Thanks juliekitty, for your kind words

And here I thought I was just being logical.

Are those cats in a toilet?

No, they're in a sink.

http://www.catsinsinks.com