How important is intelligence...

Post Reply New Topic

I don't think I said otherwise...

It's bad going both ways... it's actually sad that it's sort of expected out of men...

Who said anything about disagreeing?
If it's an argument, I TRY to be clear.
Most people can't get it (not a matter of
intellect, just differing ways of looking),
but I usually don't play much then.


Again. I don't think that I could bear to be
WITH someone who didn't understand, and
play similarly. Still, I'm cruel, and sometimes
twist blades just for fun.



Exactly. A different issue though. And one
that hurt my wife dearly. But, sometimes
I didn't even realize that I was hurting her.
And she didn't like to show weakness, any more
than I do.


Different issue again. The playful jokes at someone's
expense ARE disrespectful. But, they don't catch those.
These are people I don't give a s**t about, but I'm still
not going to insult them in ways that they understand.
One is sometimes forced to be around those without
similar types of cleverness. I'd guess that they do the
same, with what I can't seem to fathom.

Isn't THAT what we're discussing?

The one liner Queen strikes again.

Last edited by nb411 on 04 Sep 2007, 11:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Oh, wow! Yes, it would be unreasonable for someone to have a set of expectations like that for an individual with AS. I start to get anxious just thinking about it.



It isn't that it didn't make sense. You make a habit of making a great deal of sense! It's just that from what I know of you so far you seem to be the sort of person I'd deeply respect and I'm curious to know what sorts of things you do and do not like.

I don't swing that way... much.

What's particularly kack about those situations is I watch it happen with some of my NT friends as well - they go from wanting to work through things to where things hit a certain critical mass. After that critical mass is hit its no longer a cooperative thing, if anything they're deliberately taking points of authority and trying to defy the other just to show who has more power. At that point either one of them or both could really want to fix things but there really isn't any hope - mainly the fear of holding their hand out and getting bit, especially on how bad it would make them look and how much power they'd feel like they relinquished by that act of good faith, seems to stop any movement back to the positive.

When that happens its time for people to split. I think the only way relationships really have hope is when people are good at sorting things out at the first possible signs of that or, alternatively, having things come to a head with a serious degree of cheating and both of them really purging the venom from their system - the second only works if they really did love each other though and yeah, I've seen that scenario play out as well.

If I date anyone they must be at least about as intelligent as me. I've dated an idiot, and let me tell you, it wasn't a good decision. Besides, I want to breed smart children

Yeah, I think wisdom is key - someone who 'gets' life and gets people. That's an intelligence in and of itself that seems to be the most vital.

edit: Oops, didn't see the last part. I think with proper use of intelligence being the most important thing thats mostly parenting. Yeah, you'll have a demonseed here and there and preacher's kids are quite often the best indicator that you'd rather give them what they need than bury them in more morals than they want. Still, it really comes down to how well the parent does at showing their kids that it really is in their best long term interest as well as the interest of their world to hold on to what they believe in as well as to shoot for higher goals than 'get paper, get a--, get drugs, and get more paper'.

Last edited by techstepgenr8tion on 05 Sep 2007, 12:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

Oh my! There are children here!

I guess. Never seemed that way here. My wife just held everything
in (I did too), and it cracked her. There wasn't really a lot of gamesmanship
going on.


Well, we went through the cheating, early (not a hell of a lot - and not
really any venom behind it). After that, we never really fought at all,
which may be unhealthy. I thought it was because there was nothing
TO fight. Apparently, I was wrong. Hell, I even knew it - not fighting, but
things which needed clarifying. But, the thing is, 'tis harder, once the
early blushes of love fade. Routines become too important.

:big cringe:

That's what my current roommate's wife did to him. He thought she was just under stress so he gave her her distance, she started showing more and more arrogance toward him, and about that time a friend of a friend showed up on the scene. He got this friend a construction job and this friend would talk to someone on the phone through lunchbreaks - he had no idea who it was but he just let it slide. He also had this same friend over and talked to him about his relationship problems with his wife, the guy just played dumb. Well, his wife ran off on him, refused to work through things, and for a month he was completely in the dark and had no idea what was going on. It took another one of our friends kind of lying about something that he told his girlfriend he heard from another girl, he got it out of her, and it took that for my roommate to find out what had really happened. Before that if he tried to talk to her if he saw her anywhere she literally ran.

Now at least they're divorced, sounds like she's about to leave that current guy the same way she left him, and he's gotten over his bitterness with her - though the old friend he swears to this day that if he saw him anywhere he'd far more than likely go to jail for what he'd do to him (being that he's a black belt in tae kwon do is another major concern he has - even if someone really diserves a good beating he can't and he knows the tables would turn on him hard if that happened).

Moral of the story, if you do find yourself dating someone too passive aggressive or passive defensive to actually say what's on their mind, if they can't get over it you're probably not going to be able to have much trust or a good relationship.





From what you said there it sounds like it could have been a couple things. One possibility is that you both had a lot of scars from the past so if something felt too good or too easy you felt really out of your depth with it unless it took on the more familiar complications that you were used to.

I also had some friends I used to hang with back from 1998 to 2001, also for a short period last year, and the first time I knew them she'd cheated on him 11 times - everytime he got furious, she came crawling back and jumped through all the hoops to repay it, and then she'd do it again. To this day it seems like they're both like a bad addiction for each other - neither can give it up even after sessations that would last months. I still think I'd much rather have a relationship bomb than have someone in my life as a symbiotic parasite and worse - to be their parasite as well.

Not this ugly. She was honest, and told me
she just couldn't take it. Still, I never thought
we would crack. Took MANY years to trust that
she wouldn't leave me. 'Twas the one thing I thought
she was incapable of. Certainly, she had said she was.



'Twas pretty damned good, for the first decade.
But, like I said, she went crazy. Tried to kill herself
a couple of times, after she booted me.




No. Life just got different. Less time together.



And again, not similar. We each cheated with one
other person. Though, I guess we both had jealousy,
at times. Left in the dark past. We broke up over hers
(invited mine into bed), because 'twas done like a slap
in the face, from my point of view. I came back to her,
and we gave things another shot. We were pretty damned
mellow, for a long time - no fights. Then, it just died, all
at once. A slow deterioration, without any attempt to fix,
and a quick end.

Sorry Cal I was referring to JK.

I once robbed a retirement village. I taunted the oldies with their own false teeth as I made off with the loot.

Seriously though, thanks.

I'm hurt. Plus, she used TWO lines.