Aspies, Who would be compatible? Is there really 'love'?

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I've had one relationship before and I have aspegers and she was a little psychotic (she cut herself). I have no idea what the heck I was thinking but I was pretty obsessed and didn't get over it for a couple years. I gave up on girls but now I don't want any bull and I just want somebody to love and be loved and to share my life with. Except, I'm scared of not 'connecting' with a spouse and not fullfilling her emotionally. I really don't want to hurt anyone or be hurt.

I'm at a loss for my future. I've always liked asain people because their generally more open minded and more intelligent than most people I see (I know it sounds biased, but that's just what I see). However, I feel I should marry a Christian girl because of my religion. Yet I'd probably get along with neither because of the way I am. They'd sense something wrong eventually and ditch. However, I'm tied between wanting a relationship and not wanting. I eventually decided it was lust but that's not how I feel at all...I was just making excuses to keep my distance. I started college at the beginning of this year and I find it harder and harder getting along with others so I hope to have a relationship some day (even though I try)...I feel like I'm falling.

I'm desperately seeking advice from others with AS. What did you do or what should I do? Maybe social conditioning. I have no idea XD. I know everyone must find answers for themselves but everything seems very hopeless and I really need some words on relationship. ESPECIALLY from those with AS.

I've recently been contemplating the fact that of the handful of women i've cared about who loved me, 2 have proven to be suicide attempts, one has been in and out of hospitals for psychotic episodes, and one just two weeks ago binged two dozen of her preferred pill and nearly died but just got a night in jail and a chance to change.

I don't know if it's me who is attracted to those who see and think differently (to put it in the widest and most positive terms) or if it's the other way around. I don't know if otherwise normal girls meet me, like me despite my brusque exterior, eventually come to see the world slightly more in tune to the way I see it, and then... find those patterns of thought unsatisfying, or what -- but I've been trying recently to simply accept that if I'm attracted to a girl I should really focus more on trying to help her resolve whatever plainly visible conflict (because when else than in the most extreme cases can we see others' emotions?) attracted me to her.

I don't know if that's love, or what -- helping someone I find intriguing become less interesting to me to make them accept the world's pain more comfortably. If it is love, I sure love easily. But hell, who knows.

And I think it seems like I'm being really harsh on these gentle, uniformly sensitive girls. What I mean when I say "have proven" and "has been" is just that these things happened since they met me. Not that these things are why I don't associate with them, or even that I don't.

I have had two previous relationships and both went quite sour.

One fine lady unfortunately had problems, big problems, and eventually decided to take them out on me by sticking a skewer in my chest. I survived perfectly well (as you notice...) but obviously that was that for the relationship.

Second lady was largely fine, but very accommodating towards any other man that fancied trying his hand on her. Ultimately caught her taking the phrase 'suck it and see' a little too literally on her 'best friend' and that was that.

I find it terribly difficult to get into relationships with people, often it's a mix between my need for friends only on occasions when it suits me and the fact that few are tolerent of my eccentricities as an Aspie.

Few make it past my barriers, and I mean very few. Aspies seem to have this habit of only letting through certain people that they click with, and obviously by our very natures finding such people isn't easy.

I know the advice i'm going to give isn't much and is, dare I say, perhaps a little cliched, but all I can say is that it has worked for me, thus far.

There is somebody out there, somewhere. I spent ages fretting about this before I came to University as I come from a small, backward little town where nobody is particularly open-minded towards people and I felt that Uni would be the same, but it isn't. There are people out there, and there are more than likely to be a few in your college. Trying to track them down may be a good start.

Guys, lighten up. There is someone out there who will make your ideal partner, you just need to find them.

Ed Almos

Wow, well thanks for the replies but it's really discouraging..

So I'm screwed like the rest of you, right? I'm going to drive all my girlfriend's to want to commit suicide and eventually leave (and that's if I find one open minded enough). It's alright, not much surprises me anymore.

I'm still interested in more feedback if anyone's still interested.

I think everyone has a few crazy relationships first-up. (Some more than others, though!). It just makes you appreciate how good stuff is when you find a more compatible partner.

(And no, I don't think you're driving women to suicide. It's far more likely that their minds are naturally more attracted to you, or something. Maybe they give off weird psycho vibes that only NTs can easily detect? )

No no, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying there's no hope, I was kind of just hoping to commiserate and empathize and all that stuff.

What I would say is this: women are more like men than they are different from them. And women are also all different. Some will like you, some will ignore you. Some are good at heart and some will betray you. Some you will like, some you won't. There are some that you'll hurt too, probably. It's kind of a crapshoot. But when it works out, even in the short term, it's like life on fire.

psychotic girls rock.

"Suck it and see". LMAO!! !

Whoa, why is cutting psychotic? Were there
delusions involved?