Fear of Rejection

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I'm thinking this has a lot to do with me not just "going for it" when it comes to approaching people for the purpose of dating

This thought has only just occurred to me but I just wondered if this is a thing for other people as well

I'm all about self preservation me

I think most people will experience a certain amount of fear when approaching another person for dating.

Letting someone know you find them attractive opens you up for pain if they reject you. That's true for everyone, surely.

But I guess it's how much you feel that fear of emotional pain, and how you react internally that determines how you behave.

I'd suspect that people who have a history of being being rejected (not just by romantic interests but families, friends etc.) are going to have a harder time here. They'll likely have learned to protect themselves by not allowing people that opportunity to hurt them.

Yeah that's what I'm thinking too

I think it takes a lot to approach someone for a date

It does. I reckon that's why dating apps are so popular. You get to do the scary bit from a distance.

Like some people they just can keep getting back up after getting knocked back and it's literally a numbers game for them but I'm sensitive I am, so if I get knocked back then I take it all personal and then the next time I see someone that I like I just might not try because I can remember how bad it felt the last time

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria is an ASD trait by the way. It just means some of us take rejection much harder than others, or we perceive rejection where there isn't any, so may suggest that some autistic people will find this stuff harder than your average person.

I thought RSD was more of an ADHD trait. Whenever I search it in Google ADHD always comes up the most. Maybe because ADHD people are more likely to be social than autistic people without ADHD?

I don't really experience RSD when it comes to dating, as I've never actually been rejected before by guys. I get RSD more when it comes to friendships, as I've experienced a lot of rejection from other females and it makes me angry because it proves I have some sort of social deficit somewhere even though I'm quite socially skilled for an Aspie, and I'm not sure on how to work on this because it's too subtle, not obvious. So it's not like I'm aloof or robotic or monologue on about one subject or blurt out hurtful things or look shifty or any of these other behaviours that are common in autistics and can be worked on. I think it's just some sh***y vibe I give off, and there's nothing you can do about vibes. I can't even bear to look at myself in the mirror, I get the shudders.

But guys seem to warm to me, while other women seem to keep their distance (except for gay women, I know quite a few gay women and they all seem so kind and open-minded and just accept me, which boosts my confidence and makes me enjoy being in their company).
Quite a few guys at work admire my kindness and they often say I'm very good at understanding and empathising.

I know I am, it's just a pity other straight women don't appreciate this. They just avoid me and go running after the more louder, popular women (I've seen this many times in my life). Maybe they think I'm going to steal their boyfriends or something, even though I'm not like that and I'm not exactly stunningly beautiful and I'm already in a stable loving relationship.

Ah right I'm getting mixed up with rejection and abandonment

I wonder if the two can have a similar affect on a person because I think they might

This certainly plays a role for me but it’s not the main reason as to why I’ve never been on a date at 30.

I'm sorry man
That must be really tough for you

Some persons are totally a**hole in the way they reject too.