Should I just kill myself?

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I'm fed-up with it... I hate the way I look... Nearly a year of being Bulimic and my body won't throw food up anymore... I now weigh 129lbs and I am 5ft3ins tall and a UK size 12 with 34E-28-35 measurements... Still too big, apparrently although people say I look OK...
I spend hours in the bathroom trying to bring food up but I just end up with a very sore throat and teeth marks in my hands....
I've tried starving myself and cutting down but throwing-up seems to be the only thing I can stick to.
Then I get dumped by a guy I am really into... I blame it on my physical appearence... My shoulders won't dissapear, either, and he even commented on how big they were after we broke-up...
I've gone and scratched my whole body with a razor because I don't like how it looks...

No!

You should not take your own life. The problem is not you, it's the guy who dumped you who has the problem. You need someone who will appreciate the real you, and who won't care about your outward appearance.

Tim

i think their are more healthier ways to deal with changing your body, more socally acceptiblke ways throwing up will ruin your asophogus and damage your teeth so in the future you will have other problems. I think you should seek professional help, someone who can not only help ya do this in a healthy and safe way and at the same time allow you to feel good about yourself while doing it (like excersizing). If you got dumped because of physical apperence then he was hollow and i dont think you need him around. I hope you feel better about yourself soon, and that you can feel healthy! Keep us posted on what you decide because I think you are going about it in a very bad way. Heh, if I could take some of your weight and put it in me i would!

Don't take this the wrong way but I have to view bulimia/anorexia as an illness because nearly everyone (including me) but yourself will see somebody who is starving themselves. It is more problematic to consider somebody who doesn’t eat as ok.

That doesn't mean that there isn't a huge stigma attached to it as with any mental illness. If you knew you were able to stop, I believe you would do it. It is getting the right help for you. Usually bulimia/anorexia stems from other problems like depression, etc. These are solvable problems. You can get better. If you don't think you can do it on your own you don't have to.

Eating disorders are not the way to lose weight, and I include "dieting" as a form of eating disorder.

If you feel that you need, or want to lose weight for whatever reason, physical exercise is more effective and healthier than dietary restriction. And it will improve your mental state, too. Swimming is good; it is relaxing in some ways, but it involves a lot of exertion. Do not force yourself to go without food when you genuinely feel hungry, but don't focus on food too much. Just eat to live.

I'm sorry, I'm not very good at this, but please don't kill yourself.

There are men out there who will love you, just the way you are. There is nothing wrong with you. Anyone who would be so petty and stupid as to comment on your shoulders (!) isn't worth the bother.

I concur with what Tim said. DO NOT KILL YOURSELF. It won't solve anything AT ALL.

Do NOT kill yourself! You will not always feel this bad. If you are feeling suicidal please get help - there are helplines in every country.

There is hope and help available. Depression and eating disorders are illnesses that are treatable.

I looked at your measurements and you are smaller than me.

And I think I look nice (see my photo in my avatar).

The image projected in the media portrays underweight women as the norm. It is not healthy to be underweight.

Prior to this eating disorder, what were your interests/hobbies?

Helen

NO!

Life is the most precious thing anyone can have. And suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
You do not want to kill yourself.

Size 12 and you're complaining about your weight? That's the average, there's nothing to complain about. Curvy, just right for most guys. Though I do prefer chubby girls myself. I'd say it was probably the way you acted. If you were more confident with yourself, maybe guys would feel more inclined to like you. Did you complain alot during the relationship? Depression and persistent self-pity can kill a relationship.

Don't kill your self it solves nothing. You are to valuable, and beutiful for that. Please seek help. Eating disorders are very damaging physically as well as mentally.
By the way I'm a very picky guy when it comes to physical measurements, and your measurements are hottie measurements.

theoddsockgirl: throwing up is not the way to lose weight!! ! and no do not take your life! i really think that 129 at 5'3 is considered normal, you should not obcess about how you look if its a guy who told you you look fat that maybe just some strange thing he has and it should not be something to be a big worry about accept just ignore him and tell him you arent comfortable with him.

IT IS NOT NORMAL TO LOOK LIKE BARBIE!! barbie if really alive, would not mestrate or have the correct amount of nutriants to support the body's processes. and in sense all you are doing is starving your body because your not giving your body enough time to use any of the good nutriants that are in differant foods, if you ask me, barbie has an eating disorder and i think it was wrong of mattel toy company to give barbie those proportions, they should have stuck with the original barbie dolls from about 60's to about 1980 (they looked proportionate)

with bulimia it can ruin your somach because of stomach acids eating away at esphogus as well as damage teeth and give you some pretty nasty smelling breath (yuck) my opinion is that men arent really turned on by people that appeared to have survived auschwitz that are walking skeletons from body not getting enough nutriants and body is eating itself away,

also starving yourself like this you will be tired andsluggish AND DEPRESSED best thing to do is to find a diet that can help with weight loss and exersize, (believe me it works) secret is to get enough of dairy proteins, fruit, carbs (low glycemic index) carbs arent bad, if you choose stuff like bland food and wheat or soy products after about a week or so and following the plan such as that done for nutrisystem (that is portion control and 5 small meals a day) believe me you will have energy, be less sleepy if you drive, your car will run out of gas before you do.


skinny arms may look good on the door closer in my avator, but on a human it means the person is malnurished and not getting enough of the right things to keep healthy(vitamins, nutriants,etc.)

I can't say I understand the particulars of your experience, but I know what hurting feels like, and I understand desperation.

I'm an old guy now, and I can think of only one guy I've known in my life who found extremely skinny girls especially attractive. I have no idea where this supposed stereotype of beauty came from.

Seems to me that suicide should only be considered as an absolute last resort. If you can think of anything else to try first, try it.

Killing yourself is something you can always do later.

Please don't. I confess there isn't a day goes by when I don't think about it at least once, but I won't let the world beat me. People like us who suffer are in a position to help those who are going through the same thing. I totally understand how it hurts when somebody you like says something very insensitive. In the end they are the losers as they'll never know just how special we are.
There is light at the end of the tunnel, but yes, it can seem a bloody long tunnel. You have done the right thing by posting how you are feeling.
I felt very sad after reading your post. Being lonely can feel terrible. I don't know you, but you express your feelings very well and I admire you for having the courage to tell us how you're feeling. Hang in there mate!

Hey you sound just about right to me!, and you say you are single now?
Whereabouts in the UK are you?
Got any pictures?

Actually Ive known a couple of girls including a relative who where/are stunningly perfect but thought they where overweight, one of them eventually looked like an ill old skeleton, such a shame, dont trust yourself on your self-image.

Lifes here to be enjoyed, to be as happy as we can be with what we have got, and to try and make other people happy, you could be sad or you could be happy, but you will still have the same body, ie, being miserable about something you cannot change will not give you a Barbie figure, endless Love fame and riches, but will make things worst.
Sod the rest of them, be happy and that alone will make you even more attractive than any miserable girl with a model figure.

Sod em all, sod the fashion mags and the re-touched glossy advert girls, put on a record you like dance around like a mad thing, make a few faces in the mirror, make yourself laugh, whoever you feel you subcontiously feel you need to impress isnt going to make you happy or reward you in anyway, sod em, be happy with yourself.

I understand what you mean, but if you kill yourself you'll never get to see if it could have been better. Maybe your life will actually improve if you give it a fair chance. At the very least, get past the late teen years, at least then you'll know if wanting to die is just chemical imbalances in your brain or really what you want. It'd be a shame to die for chemical imbalances wouldn't it?


Besides, think of all the stuff you'll miss. Pokemon revolution in december for wii

No. Killing yourself will not solve any problems, yours or others. This sounds like many things are going on in your life. There are places on the internet that may help you understand how you feel. Much as this site helps with autism.

Much of this deals with a feeling of a loss of control and your need to take it back. You must understand that you are always in control, no matter what happens in your life. Others don't control you. Society doesn't control you. You may not feel this way though and that is understandable. People often need control in thier own lives and try to get that control by taking control from others through judgmentation and humiliation. Don't let them take it from you.

This is easier said than done. It's not an easy road but one you can certainly navigate.

Send me a picture of yourself, and Ill decide if your good looking or not. Im brutally honest so dont worry.