Saw a "Player" in Action

Post Reply New Topic

I was at the gym recently and saw a guy who acted (and looked) about 15. Turns out he was who I thought he was: a 32 year old guy who is the same person he was in school: your stereotypical "tough black guy" (for lack of a better description) who ironically enough never bullied me at all even though he was by far the meanest, toughest kid in school to the point even the principal was scared of him. Thanks to all my reading on this board, I now see why he gets ladies to flock to him. While not tall he's strong, tough, ultra-confident but more importantly knows how to drop compliments. He approached one girl and smoothly asked about a boyfriend since she 'must have one since you are so beautiful'. She told him she had one and he never missed a beat: just smiled and said "well, I still love your accent and hope to see you more often" and she started to flirt with him. I saw him do this to multiple ladies and he always knew how to drop the right compliment to the right girl and never even flinched at rejection. It's too bad I couldn't post a video because I have to admit it was very educational.

Even though he still has the maturity of a teenager, I wished him well and told him how good it was to see him after all these years. We might have nothing in common, but it was a valuable learning experience as to why the 'bad boys' get success with the girls. Bottom line, he didn't take anything personally, screamed confidence and knew how to tailor his message to his audience: something all us Aspies can learn from even if we will never be bad boys.

Confidence takes you for miles. It's superficial though. If he's still playing at this, he hasn't found a life partner yet. This works for some people though. He'll be the most popular guy in the nursing home.

rofl

A former acquaintance of mine years ago would be considered a player. Let's call him Steve. One evening I told Steve "I'm watching you, I'm taking notes, seeing how you do it".

It was one of those house parties where people can be a bit more intimate than a bar or club...and less loud. Turns out, most of what Steve did involved belittling, teasing, and at times even insulting the girls. His tactics succeeded in getting him laid, not only with one girl, but her sister as well later.

I lost track of Steve years ago. But I knew that night I could never do what Steve did. It just wasn't in my personality....nor would I WANT to do what he did.

So it's not all about laying out compliments...players have different tactics.

There's an easy explanation as to why that works....it's all about giving the other person the impression you are worth more than they are. If they get this impression of you they would want to make up with you because it would increase their social status.

It's all about the natural selection game. The most fit gets to stay in the game called life. Those not fit don't.

A guy belittling, teasing, and insulting girls would be interpreted as a guy not caring or giving a f**k - that is a very important thing to do in this world to survive. If you care too much, you will eventually break from the resistance of life.

Been reading pua haven't we?

oi, didn't want to start a pua discussion...my intent was to show that 'players' use all sorts of tactics.

It was just a response to him, mostly since this is one of the few things all puas agree with but they all handle it differently. For example using his example of belittling, etc is something most common to the so called mystery method.

I am finding personally that belittling people isn't for me. I am better at using my sense of humour into getting people to fool around with me.

Those with an actual sense of humor will naturally gravitate towards this. Why want to attract people be pretending to be better than them when you can attract them by making them feel special when around you

Exactly. I got two women friends that actually want to talk to me when they are feelign down and I actually make them feel better too. And yes, I am actually seeing one and the other wants me too despite the fact that she has a boyfriend (whom I would guess isn't treating her well). It's easy to have a sense of humour to lift someone's spirits up. Belittling someone is only going to work for so long, so what happens when someone needs their spirits lifted?

Now that's a different road than I was suggesting. It can lead to what so many call the friendzone very quickly. I'm more into the being the life of the room type of thing, joking is just a way to get people into the light. The key is to keep it lit enough for others to see, but not so much they want to turn away.

That sort of behaviour/approach, would make me cringe. It's so stereotypical and contrived. The sort of guys who think they are "all that', are imo the most unattractive men I could possibly find.

The Don Juan who thinks he's got it made, at the touch of a hackneyed phrase.

Give me a geeky, shy, honest, witty, mature man, anytime.

How many players you fell for before you came into this?

2 that I can think of, Boo.

I'm still no expert, but players come in many different shapes and forms...unfortunately.

Chameleons are the worst. They appear to be one thing, and then metamorphose into something else.

Bear in mind, what an older woman finds attractive often contrasts with what younger women find attractive. Is this the kind of bloke you were into when you were in your twenties? Be honest, please.