The horror, the horror

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I've been feeling positive since I found this site. My boyfriends parents have come to visit him and I offered to go out with them tomorrow while he is at work. I felt confident about meeting them. And then today on the phone he mentioned a party at the weekend with his friends. *plummet* There goes my self esteem. I'm not sure whether I find parties, or the thought of having to go, worse. It can literally ruin my week knowing that I have this *horror* to face on the weekend. But he can't spring it on me either, because that would be worse.

My boyfriend isn't a typical NT. He is in IT and shares some aspie-like traits. BUT he loves socialising and spending time with all his NT friends. I've tried to explain to him that going to a party is, for me, the equivalent of asking him to have root canal treatment without an anaesthetic. I don't drink, so I can't make the parties bearable that way, either. And its not that I don't like people - its just that I will either go really quiet and smile in all the wrong places, or I'll say something that goes down like a lead balloon. I know. I've been with me to parties before.

And now I'm hating myself and feeling guilty for not being more positive about it, and terrified at the thought of losing him (and yet another relationship) over this issue. *sigh*

Why can't he go alone?
My wife often left parties
early, or would beg out of them.

Just a matter of understanding
one another, no?

Yes, Calandale, he often has to go alone to parties. I was worried that he might get tired of this. But you're right, he won't leave me because of that. I've spoken to him about it now. It is a matter of understanding one another.

I'm glad to hear he understands! I *love* your comparison about:

i did fine @ parties if my bf kinda helped facilitate conversations for me...

but its a bit of a confounding variable cause parties in college were diff than in highschool.... cause at least in highschool, i had some 10+ years to amass some small clutch of people i can tolerate...

yet in college, parties i went to, i never knew ANYONE there except for the one or two ppl I came with... which was usually my bf...

so if he left me alone admist a bunch of people i didn't know.... i would be miserable... but if i could hang out with him and he either explains the inside jokes or includes me in the open-ended questions.... i do ok.... even if all i do is kinda stand there and listen/nod.

I'm an eternal optimist,
and go wherever invited,
hoping that I'll have a good
time. Usually just sit in a corner
and get soused though.