My ex-wife is dating someone exactly like me.

Post Reply New Topic

She just informed me out of the blue today that she's dating a guy who looks almost exactly like me, and has a lot of my personality quirks.

So, in other words, very, very similar to me. This is not the first time my ex-wife has told me she's dating guys that remind her of me, but now she seems to have taken it to a whole new level.

Interpretation, please? She has told me that I was her best partner ever, but she also hates my guts -- well, most of the time. Sometimes we actually get along. She doesn't live in my city, so we pretty much never see each other anyway.

So, is she looking for a "me" she doesn't already hate? What's going on here?

???

Their must me be alot of things she also loved about you too... for her to seek someone similiar...or it's a familiarity issue, but I wouldn't think so.

Confuses me too...a couple of months after my ex moved out his girlfriend appeared with her hair lightened (about the shade mine is)...and wearing it in the same fashion.

I just thought maybe since he couldn't handle the original he's building a clone.

That sounds mean, but honestly I didn't know what to make of it at the time. I really can't figure it out.

Well, if she ever asks for my DNA, I guess we'll know!

Probably she wants you back.

if I had an ex
the last thing I'd ever say to her (after the divorce) would be

I never want to see, hear, or look at you again
get out of my life
b***h

This is basically what it sounds like (figuratively, of course). She probably never got over you and is trying to find a similar model without all the baggage the two of you have. I think it's kinda common; messed up, but common.

This sort of thing is baffling, isn't it?
My husband's ex cheated on him with (and had a love child with while they were still married) a guy that looks...exactly like him. Now she's married to a jerk, while I have the prize.
But I still can't imagine how a pathological liar like her was with my bluntly honest guy.
Maybe this sort of thing is, as Spot 17 wrote, "messed up, but common."

My theory is that some folks have, in their onboard people-evaluator software, a template of their ideally-attractive person. And whenever someone who fits that template happens by, a switch goes "click" and... bingo. And then you say, "Oh, so-and-so has a type, his GF looks exactly like his ex."

She and I both go through brief, few-and-far-between sentimentalities towards wanting each other back. (Once, she asked to move in with me because she was struggling financially.) But the thing is, we don't usually have these feelings at the same time. I'll be thinking about her, while she has no interest in me. Then, months later, when I don't care anymore, she'll start writing/calling me, and I'll not be interested. So it's really weird... We both always know, though, that it can't really work out. There are a couple fatal flaws that make the stability of a relationship between us impossible. Best we can do is be on good terms, and even that doesn't last for more than a couple months, before she starts hating on me again (the blame game).

For instance, I wrote her a month ago about my 9 cavaties that the dentist found, in order to warn her that she might want to see a dentist herself, because we've both avoided dentists, and I was worried she might be getting the amount of cavaties I've got. So I wrote her to recommend she go to a dentist for some x-rays. I was debating whether to warn her at all, because sometimes I get a slew of insults from her for my trouble, without her even taking the advice. (She's got a little sociopathy.)

But I don't like to think of my ex-wife's teeth rotting away, so I carefully wrote her to warn her. Unfortunately, I was right about getting a random backlash from her.

I wrote her:

She responded to that email with this:


I suppose this clears up any confusion as to why I don't wish to get back together with her!

this gal sounds like the eppitimy of the phrase
"invisible touch"
she'll f**k up your life!

stay away!

Sounds like a lovely person to be in a relationship with...

she sounds sarcastic

It sounds to me like she wants another version of you, but without the bits of you that annoyed her.

why do you still talk to her??

^^ ditto

Wow...she's a real ray of sunshine isn't she?