Finding it hard to ignore my feelings

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Last month, I reconnected with a girl I was friends with in University. We were both film majors with similar tastes in film and we started getting together regularly to see movies.

I've always had a bit of a crush on her, but I made the decision to keep things platonic. We are of different religions (I'm Catholic, she's Jewish) and I fear that the complications would be too great if we start dating.

However, as I have started seeing her more often, I've found that my feelings for her have started to get stronger. I find myself sitting beside her in a movie theatre with a very strong desire to put my arm around her or make some sort of physical contact, but I hold myself back.

I've started realizing that despite any religious complications between us, I still desperately want to be with her. Personally, I am not all that bothered by our religious differences and I am more scared about the reaction by her or my families.

I just don't know what do. I fear that I am eventually going to give into my feelings and make a move, but I'm scared about what would happen if I do.

There are tons of Jewish/Catholic marriages that work just fine. Just be open and honest with her.

SPKx:

Do it RIGHT NOW!

I have only now, 20 years after the fact, gotten around to confessing my love for a woman I met at University, and learned that she, too, has carried a torch all this time.

We corresponded for years as friends; yes, we're old enough to have had to use pen and paper. I learned she saved all of my letters - my wife found hers, went berserk, and burned the lot of them - over the years, and had studied them intently, trying to figure out "just what this strangely eloquent old friend was getting at."

Sad thing is, I was too afraid to speak of it to her, and she couldn't figure out what I was saying even if I hadn't been afraid, and so we both gave up and drifted. We're both unhappily married, to remarkably similar people, for about the same number of years.

If you think it's Hell on you to say something, if you're afraid of what might happen if you do, think of this case - my cowardice has affected my life, her life, and threatens two marriages, one of which has children. You think we have a hard time deciphering social cues? Imagine being an NT and coming up against a steady flow of correspondence from a terrified, hyperlogic Aspie who studied philosophy, theology, and poetry; she said "Your love letters should have footnotes."

Someone I love has endured decades of loss and grieving because I was "afraid of what might happen." Don't go down this dark road.

Drop me a line, and I can help, if you need it. Over the many years of trying to figure this thing out, I managed to gain some real insight into the way at least this Aspie loves. Trust me, it is VERY different, and it takes time to get the other half used to the idea; this goes both ways - we have to try to meet these people half-way to make a go of it.

Speak, man! For God's sake, speak now!