Is it possible to attract women without being funny?

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Mw99
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12 Dec 2007, 11:03 pm

I don't have the wit to come up with funny things to say that will make people laugh, so I guess you could say in real life I'm kind of boring. Can I still use other aspects of my personality to attract women? Will I be attractive if I sound like a thoughtful person? What if I come across as being understanding? Thoughtful? Wise? Sarcastic? Overconfident? And if the girl is the depressive type, is it likely she'll find me attractive if I also sound depressed?



Pugly
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12 Dec 2007, 11:16 pm

Oh... that's a tricky one.

Personally all I have to go on, in terms of initial attraction... is my wit.

Do you do anything for fun? Does anything amuse you? If women see you are having fun, well they may be curious as to what you enjoy so much. And she may what to get involved with you to join in.

Thoughtfulness, Understanding and Wise... I don't think these have so much attractiveness 'value'. At least not on that pure feelings level...

If you can handle sarcasm, I see no reason why you wouldn't have some wit. Sarcasm works, as long as people realize you are being sarcastic.

I wouldn't try being overconfident, because unless you pull off humor with this... it's intimidating and doesn't work too well.

Bring in the right level of confidence, throw in some sarcasm... and be genuinely interested in someone... and it'll work out.

If you are genuinely dull though, there are plenty of dull women out there looking for a date. But you may not be that interested in them either.


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Mw99
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12 Dec 2007, 11:20 pm

Pugly wrote:
Do you do anything for fun? Does anything amuse you? If women see you are having fun, well they may be curious as to what you enjoy so much. And she may what to get involved with you to join in.
.


I find myself amusing, but I'm not sure self-deprecation will help build attraction.



Pugly
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12 Dec 2007, 11:46 pm

Mw99 wrote:
I find myself amusing, but I'm not sure self-deprecation will help build attraction.


It may not be great, but it's better than nothing. If done in a nice way, in which you can still show confidence... it can be quite endearing and amusing.

Think of stand up comics who make jokes about themselves, yet still keep the crowds of people entertained.

The distinction is very subtle though.


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12 Dec 2007, 11:50 pm

How about attracting through kindness? The world hasn't a surplus of that.
It would make you stand out and add to the novelty factor.



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13 Dec 2007, 12:22 am

you dont have to be funny:

you can be HOT and BAD TO THE BONE

HAHAHAHA!

seriously though

also some women appreciate a good kind heart and blah blah blah ahahah sob sob it's 2am what the hell am I doing? You don't have to be funny yourself, as long as you can appreciate good humor and wit.


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beautifuloblivion
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13 Dec 2007, 1:03 am

Mw99 wrote:
I don't have the wit to come up with funny things to say that will make people laugh, so I guess you could say in real life I'm kind of boring. Can I still use other aspects of my personality to attract women? Will I be attractive if I sound like a thoughtful person? What if I come across as being understanding? Thoughtful? Wise? Sarcastic? Overconfident? And if the girl is the depressive type, is it likely she'll find me attractive if I also sound depressed?

I find your depressive attitude attractive right now. :(



gwenevyn
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13 Dec 2007, 1:08 am

Mw99, I don't think humor is necessary. I mean, I know some women say that's really important as a part of initial attraction but for me it isn't and I doubt I'm the only one. My boyfriend has a great sense of humor but I hadn't discovered that yet when I started falling for him--it was just a neat bonus! I bet you will find that when you're with a person who makes you feel comfortable and valued, the two of you will build all sorts of inside jokes and funny things to share.


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Pugly
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13 Dec 2007, 2:29 am

Isn't flirting and what-have-you just an application of 'wit'?

It would be quite difficult to show interest in the 'fun attractive' way without being somewhat humorous... or at least ambiguous.

Actually outside of anything else, communicating on the same level in terms of humor is a good sign that we'll have a good relationship. This is a tell tale sign that someone else actually 'gets' me. Of course humor is such a big part of my life... my views are probably quite different than others.


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siuan
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13 Dec 2007, 3:46 am

gwenevyn wrote:
Mw99, I don't think humor is necessary. I mean, I know some women say that's really important as a part of initial attraction but for me it isn't and I doubt I'm the only one. My boyfriend has a great sense of humor but I hadn't discovered that yet when I started falling for him--it was just a neat bonus! I bet you will find that when you're with a person who makes you feel comfortable and valued, the two of you will build all sorts of inside jokes and funny things to share.


Similar experience. My husband can be funny (quite, actually), but it's rare and not one of his shining characteristics. What really attracted me to him was his honesty and intelligence and how he seemed almost naive in how much he cared. Very endearing, and I fell hard and fast.


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gbollard
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13 Dec 2007, 4:53 am

ladies, correct me if I'm wrong...

Nice women value honesty and dedication above everything else.

If you're not a comedian, don't pretend to be one because eventually you'll revert back to your old self and if they've fallen for the comedian, they'll fall out of love.

Just be yourself and be nice to them, be flattering (not sleazy - unless of course, that is being yourself).



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13 Dec 2007, 5:09 am

Mw99 wrote:
I don't have the wit to come up with funny things to say that will make people laugh, so I guess you could say in real life I'm kind of boring. Can I still use other aspects of my personality to attract women? Will I be attractive if I sound like a thoughtful person? What if I come across as being understanding? Thoughtful? Wise? Sarcastic? Overconfident? And if the girl is the depressive type, is it likely she'll find me attractive if I also sound depressed?


Attraction is not a choice.



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13 Dec 2007, 6:43 am

gbollard wrote:
ladies, correct me if I'm wrong...

Nice women value honesty and dedication above everything else.

If you're not a comedian, don't pretend to be one because eventually you'll revert back to your old self and if they've fallen for the comedian, they'll fall out of love.

Just be yourself and be nice to them, be flattering (not sleazy - unless of course, that is being yourself).
Being kind and a good listener is often appreciated by women.


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Adrie
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13 Dec 2007, 11:56 am

Of course! Actually, though funny guys are great, I like guys who are more serious because a.) I know he won't crack a joke in the middle of a serious discussion, and b.) I kind of like being the funny one. A sense of humor is important (being able to laugh), but that's not the same as being funny...



busy91
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13 Dec 2007, 12:35 pm

Every woman is different. I like funny men, but not one that is funny all the time, only one that has a sense of humor and can laugh at himslef and things. I do not like cynical, depressed guys. They drive me batty. But that is just my point of view.



Airbrush
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13 Dec 2007, 12:42 pm

Well, I don't know much about women, but as far as I know. If you are kind, loving and generally firendly to them, you don't need to be funny. If you be you're self, be kind and do not try to hard to be funny, you will attract women.
As said, I don't know much about how to charm a woman, but this is what I think..