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samtoo
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27 Dec 2007, 2:15 pm

Ok, it's tough for aspie female too, but I'm currently a victim of the frequently asked question "Why so hard for the aspie male?" I'm in this unfortunate position again...

I just can't get it man... girls just won't go for me, or acknowledge my existence. Or if they do, they probably wind up thinking I'm too different or something...

I'm stressed man... very stressed.


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dcforeman
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27 Dec 2007, 2:58 pm

Pfft

Everyone has their problems. Women, Men, Dogs, Cats, and those small flea like creatures you could make a horror film out of with a microscope!

So women don't want to go out with you? Is that so supprising? You're not on their wavelenth dude. You might as well be speaking a different language entirely!

But there are women out there who will like you. But if you've got this crappy "oh whoaw is me, no woman get's me" attitude I don't get how you can like being around yourself let alone expect another human being to enjoy your company.

Get a cat, mellow out, learn to live with yourself, and if it happens it happens. If not, stuff happens, what the hell?



samtoo
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27 Dec 2007, 3:02 pm

Mate, you've kind of jumped to a conclusion that this is my day to day attitude.
This is not true - recently and currently I'm going through trauma.

imo this is quite offensive what you say to me here.

Awful events have messed me about, and I'm sure as aspies we can understand how things can take a massive toll on us?


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Grimfaire
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27 Dec 2007, 3:14 pm

The biggest problem with aspie men vs. aspie women (in general) is that society believes that it is the male's duty to approach the female. It's this act that we fail at be it, just plain inability to get to the first step or somewhere else along the line.

Women have this a bit easier but far from easy. The hardest thing to understand is that we all have a lot of the same problems in this regard; men, women, aspies, NT. It doesn't really help but at least you know you're not the only one having difficulties.


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dcforeman
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27 Dec 2007, 3:32 pm

It was intended to be offensive!

With the information you posted, to tried to single out a single group of people as having it harder then anyone else in the world ever! Sorry my paitence with such statements is extremely limited. Had it been a posting about advice for dealing with women, I'd have encouraged you. But the whole "men have it worse" attitude is one that other people pick up, it generates a uniqe force of "hard done by men" posts, rather then anything useful.



samtoo
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27 Dec 2007, 3:39 pm

Well ok. I'll admit - I can be a touch arrogant. I'm quite a narcissistic kind of guy.

I do say things in a very self obsessed way, but I don't think we have it harder in life I'm just stating my oppinion about the whole dating thing, and no doubt aspie guys have a hard time.

I'm not an aspie girl and maybe I shouldn't have made any comparisons, but aspie guys do have a hell of a hard time in this respect.


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27 Dec 2007, 3:52 pm

Being aspie has characteristics that are naturally not attractive to females but less for attracting males.



Tim_Tex
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27 Dec 2007, 4:01 pm

I have gotten better at making the first move. It's finding someone I would actually be interested in dating that's difficult for me.

Tim


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mj7
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27 Dec 2007, 4:09 pm

I find that women are not on the same wave lenth as us,some of them talk to you like you are a mental ret*d or a child and can be very patronsing and some are just plain scared.

I was married for years and my ex never understood me and we might as well have been on different planets.

They seem to always want you to be something different than you are to come out of your shell but they cannot understand I am not shy that is just the way I am.

Some of them look at you like you are something on the bottom of their shoe,but I now just accept they do not understand and they are ignorant so maybe one day I will meet someone who will accept me for what I am.



Kitsy
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27 Dec 2007, 5:05 pm

I don't know you. It's hard to say.

Have a question for you. Would life be easier if women approached you instead?


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Grimfaire
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27 Dec 2007, 5:10 pm

Kitsy wrote:
I don't know you. It's hard to say.

Have a question for you. Would life be easier if women approached you instead?


Oh my yes! :)

That would be a dream. It's the hardest part of all. I've never actually met anyone that didn't come up to me first or been introduced through someone else.


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samtoo
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27 Dec 2007, 5:34 pm

Kitsy wrote:
I don't know you. It's hard to say.

Have a question for you. Would life be easier if women approached you instead?


Definately. :D


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LePetitPrince
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27 Dec 2007, 6:16 pm

Kitsy wrote:
I don't know you. It's hard to say.

Have a question for you. Would life be easier if women approached you instead?


It would definitely make romance/sex life much easier , that's why girls can get partners much easier and quicker than guys.

But it wouldn't make the other aspects of life easier.



Kitsy
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27 Dec 2007, 6:51 pm

Someone told me in Japan for Valentines, the girls hand out valentines to the guys they like.

This is all about social upbringing. I'm glad I ignored half of it.


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Topher
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27 Dec 2007, 10:06 pm

I've often asked why is it so hard. I've been hurt in the past and it's gooten to the point that although i would love a relationship with a girl. I can't find the courage, the confidence and the willpower to tell a girl I like them or ask them out. Girls won't lift an eyelid to me. I tihnk because im different people are afraid of me. Either that or i'm always put aside for some other guy..... :(

I find the concept of the guy having to ask the girl to be very unfair and harsh. I wish it could be equal ground. I hate and despise being single.



merr
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27 Dec 2007, 10:19 pm

It really surprises me that people dont think girls apporach guys. But, I've never known a women, if she really liked a man, to wait for him to approach her. I live in a conservative place too, and if a girl likes a guy, she will make it known somehow. Some may not walk up to you and flat out ask you out on a date, but she may send signals, like flirting, etc.