Intellectual considered "selfish" and "vein&q

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This happens every time I try to talk to any person, male or female (particularly female). This just happened not ten minutes ago online. I'm in a conversation with this fairly nice girl (at first I think she's nice), but as she asks what luck I've had with dating, I simply explain to her the situation: I run into people who falsely advertise their features, their personality, and their desires.

Somehow, she gets the opinion I'm a self-centered egomaniac only concerned with a girl's looks, because I use vocabulary beyond a 4th grader's understanding (which she doesn't understand, mind you, and she's applying to graduate school). Literally she thinks I'm after someone with no substance and only physical beauty, because I tell her the girls I've previously dated lied about their physical appearance (blind dates, etc).

So what am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to talk down to their level, homey? Hang my pants down to my knees, talking about how I put a cap in some copper, and want to feel her up? Will that turn them on? Or do I have to play the "Deliverance" game, and be an unsophisticated "little man" of the grassroots movement. Let's talk about corn, riding ATV's, huntin', and chewin' tobacce!

It seems the only time girls in my age range talk to guys with an intellect is when they have money to flash around. Otherwise, they just want someone with a pair between their legs who they think they can control like a dog on a leash. Does intelligence really frighten them, or are they just too incompetent to keep up?

Hmm, yes. It could be more a matter of you chasing them because of superficial looks. Women HATE that. Do yourself a favour, and go after girls who can actually understand you, and looks should only matter 25%.

By the way, you spelt vain wrong.

If there's one thing in the world I can't approve of it's acting dumber than you really are. I'm not saying that speaking like a fourth grader necessarily makes you stupid but if have the intelligence to realize that you do, then you are. Personally, it just seems like a bad case of misunderstandings.

Side note, love the motto. I can certainly relate to it. Though dress like soldier shouldn't be taken literally. It's more about dressing sharp and clean so to speak. Personally I always dress in a suit whenever I leave the house. Not only does it make me look sharp, and it makes me feel formal which I love, but I find it to be extremely comfortable as well.

I don't think your intellect is turning them off, I think your attitude is turning them off.

I completely believe that women you've talked to have lied about their looks and other qualities. Most people seem to exaggerate, claim to weigh 20 lbs less than they do, whatever. Just the same, you can't say that to each and every girl you talk to. She will automatically assume that you think she is going to lie to you about those things to, and that's downright offensive to most people. It's like you're dismissing her as a fraud before you even get to know her. If I was talking to a guy and he said this to me, I'd sign off never to return.

I'm sure you're a perfectly nice person, but in the posts I have seen you make, you do come across as a bit arrogant. You can't assume that every girl you talk to will be stupid, boring, ugly/fat, and a liar, and you definitely can't tell them that you assume that.

Just make it a policy that they send you pictures early on, speak to them on the phone, whatever. If you aren't interested, move on. You don't owe anyone you talk to more than a conversation, and neither do the girls you're talking to.

Personally, if you made a comment like that...

I've had somewhat similar situations.
I've kind of made sense of it in a more disgregated manner.
I think many times so-called arrogance is a projection of envy or inadequacy feelings on the other person's part.
I've had "online girls" lash out at me just for saying I didn't go out much or saying that I wasn't too interested in a certain club. I've had people say things like "and who do you think you are?!" at me just for doing or explaining something I knew about - as though they couldn't accept that as a fact and had to assume instead that perceived reality was actually some willful bragging fabrication on my part.
I've also had people make of me an extreme nerd or somebody obsessed with looks (I'm obsessive; which is a different story) depending on their own shortcomings.

I try to be as tactful as possible but sometimes it doesn't help.
I think it has to do more with individual cases.
Generally, I've found a lot like that in random chat rooms and it has kept me from communicating actively most of the time; resorting instead to trying all sorts of weird ways to filter people before hand or pondering on the profiles in dating sites for hours without saying anything to anyone. I'm not saying this is good; it's just what happened gradually as I got fed up.

It's too bad there's no way to say to a woman: "Just tell the truth about how you look. I won't think any more or less of you either way, but I DO want the truth" without it coming off as awkward.

I had this friend who was very intelligent and I liked that about him. I didn't mind that he was more intelligent than me. What I did mind was him talking to me as if I was dumb. He wouldn't talk down to me necessarily, but would say things to make me feel dumb. If I don't understand something that may be obvious to everyone else, I prefer people to just explain it to me so I can learn and then move on; rather than basically saying 'how can you not know that, you dummy?'

I like intelligent guys, but sometimes I feel a little intimidated because I fear I'm not intelligent enough for them. I don't think I'm dumb though. I'd love a guy who I could learn from. A guy I could go ask about anything and he'd most likely know the answer and I'd be like 'how do you know that? amazing.'

I have had difficulties with women because they kept saying how smart I was, and it made it tough for us to relate. Also, my sense of humor was too intelligent. We would watch stupid movies and she would laugh her ass off, and I would force laughs just to not seem like a freak... to which I would get "you have no sense of humor". No, I am just very discriminating, and I don't think stupid brainless jokes are very funny. *vent*

You obviously need to sit down and watch some Daily Show...