No eye contact! Hot girl at work...

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This very attractive female recently started working with me 2 days a week (not bad since I only work 3 ).

(The setting of my job is a group home -- kind of important, I think)

What I'm doing:
I've been intentionally not looking at her, especially her eyes (Very pretty eyes) BECAUSE I know I will get carried away and look too long. This includes when I see her for the first time of the day and say hi (I let her into the building and don't look at her). When I'm going through a room I try to look busy and look anywhere/everywhere but her -- not even her feet. I do talk to her *WHEN* appropriate (she asks me questions, when cleaning together, etc). I tend to maintain good eye contact when we talk, I do smile though.

What is going on:
She seems overly interested in when I'll next be working with her. I've perceived her as possibly hitting on me in the past (She hinted that she lived alone, and didn't like eating alone -- but enjoys cooking). I am NOT actively hitting on her -- or even dropping subtle hints -- not because I don't want to but because the appropriate situation has not risen.

Confounding events:
*I thought she thought I was gay (Most people do). I decided to play up being gay for a minute or two to see if she believed that I was dating a man. She fell for it, but I had a hard time convincing her I was straight after the episode. *Note: A NT said it would be a good, fun, and otherwise jovial thing to do
*She's 25. I accidentally told her I was 20. She kept insisting she thought I was 25 or 26. Probably should have lied...
*I was in the room with her and another girl and they were discussing what they found attractive in men (I, naturally, stared at the floor. How lucky for me to be around for that Q.Q). She was mentioning guys that are built. I am a noodle. She eventually sensed (1 min?) that she was passively insulting me (Or whatever phrase you want to go for there) and threw in "And Tom, he's just sexy." Or something to that effect. If you assumed she was joking, she definitely had that tone I don't take it seriously, and it shouldn't be.
*She is (probably) a NT, BUT has a lot of experience working with autistic individuals.

No, you did fine. Some girls will date younger guys but nobody likes a liar.



If she really liked you, I don't think she would have made the "built" comment at all, unless she's the type to speak hastily and get herself into embarrassing situations.


Here's my inexpert, totally fallible opinion: this girl likes to flirt with you. That doesn't necessarily mean she's interested in dating. Based on what you say here, it sounds like you're doing a good job of being available but not too attached to the outcome.

The mandatory time together is great. I know for me, my good qualities only come out after someone gets to know me for a while. And that extra time lets her 'warm' up to me... and maybe find my 'oddity' appealing.

I'd just say be careful here, these friendly NT type girls... especially the extroverted types... I think tend to just flirt without much meaning behind it. Maybe...

I think she is not not attracted to you, but probably hasn't really thought about it... she just enjoys your company.... which doesn't mean she enjoys your company "in that way". I would say ask her out and see what happens. Then you'll know for sure...

At this point it's not about whether she is interested or not, if you like her... take the chance. Then you don't have to worry about it.

It's too easy to only go after the girls if they like you... I do the same thing. But I think it's better just to chance it, and don't worry about the potential out come.

Aspies grow on people.

You are screwed , as long that she had the impression that you are gay then she's not finding you enough masculine , so there's no chance with her...sorry.



Good that you didn't lie but still you are screwed because girls usually prefer older guys.




That happened to me at university , I was working in a project with 3 of my female colleagues and they started talking about guys , they were talking about who are the attractive guys in class and of course they started praising the built guys and they started to say 'yuck' for the skinny ,shorty or fat guys like if I was barely existent in the room (not that I am skinny and short = 163 cm/5'35 - 56 kg) , I am sure that if I wasn't in the same room they would say 'yuck' when they get to my turn since they talked about every single guy.

As for you, you are screwed again and again , since she likes built guys ,then a noodle like you would have no chance with her....and yea she was joking about 'Tome,he's just sexy' ...it was a white lie joke to make you feel 'better'.



Congratulation, you have just won the 3_times_screwed_at_a_time Reward!! !

My advice is to forget her and to move on , if she's in front of you everyday then learn to dislike her ,remember that she was insulting you. if you have any kind of self-dignity and masculinity then you shouldn't allow yourself to be fancied by her anymore.





We aspies/autistics are prone to read badly the signs and so we are prone create illusions in our mind, be careful , these are just illusions.

oh brother. You're not screwed, but you've got some work cut out for you.

There are a certain type of women who prefer to hang with gay men, flirt outrageously with them, knowing they get attention, but without the consequences. It's not certain, but that's a possibility here.

As for being a noodle; you can bulk up if you want. I did that, (I was a noodle, now I'm a middle-aged dumping.. and it helped some. It's tedious, sometimes painful (but not much, if you're careful) and takes a lot longer (months) to get where you want to be than you'd think.

And don't overdo it if you do. They just want some definition (most of them), a 'cut' look to it (there are some that want the muscles on muscles, but there's no way to tell who they are). You'll feel a little better about yourself, but you may have to buy some new clothes.. Surprisngly, being short makes it a little easier to look right in the first place..

It's really hard to give advice on flirting; it requires the ability to see what it's doing at the other end. Lighthearted, some humor, and subtle, and see how she reacts. Don't lay it on with a trowel, many women like the attention, and the chase, as much as the payoff. Good luck, hope things work out.

She may find you to be more interesting once she discovers you aren't actually gay and she'll want to know more about you.

I did recently start an exercise regiment. Not because of her though -- I got on the scale and it said 180. I was like, well. I was surprised. I feel like a little butterball (But nobody I know thinks I'm fat, they think I am insanely thin and need to gain weight... Frankly, I'd like to gain muscle mass, not fat. Whatever)

I hear comments that I'm screwed, and I hear comments that I'm not. Surprise? I mean I know for one that none of us know, but I think a safe bet would be to continue what I'm doing now. I mean I think most of us agreed that at the very least, she likes working with me. She isn't repulsed by me.

No, I'm not head-over-heels for her. She's just very attractive. And I like the fact that she seems very responsible (Something lacking from all of my ex's). I am not obsessed with the outcome, so I definitely can't get hurt (important )

I'll just start flirting with her when I get the chance (I got really dicked last week, at the end of our shift, she said, "I am so hungry right now -- like, full course meal style." I was talking to someone else at the time, but I wanted to say something like, "Well that's interesting, because I don't have anybody to cook for tonight." I now detest the person that made me lose my opportunity Lol)

poor DuceXcrew ... ***nods head**

QFT

Xcrew, you are Xcrewed.

PS: don't tell us later that we didn't warn you, it's obvious like sunlight that she's not attracted to you.

People say one thing and follow another.

If a group of guys were to ask me what kind of woman I go for it wouldnt jive with the actual girls I've dated.

I say take a chance unless you want to screw up working with her.

The only way you're screwed is if you think about it too much.

Ask her out like it doesnt matter if she goes out with you or not.

Being a noodle , yonger etc doesnt matter. Making her nervous by putting her on a pedestal or by taking things so cautioously she' ll get freaked out THAT will blow it.

You don't have to be an alpha male jerk, just keep it light.

confounding variable of doom She touches me. A LOT. She has transversed rooms to touch me when talking to me. A friendly female coworker declared that she is definitely flirting with me, but it could just be for fun.

I decided I will do or say something this friday, when I next see her Q.Q

I bet for 200 posts that she'll reject him

Who's gonna bet with me?

PS:Alex , is this doable?

Some women like to flirt with guys they're not really interested in, or guys they view as "safe." A "safe" guy would be somebody who's gay, or shy and quiet, or married, or significantly older. It's a bit condescending, but not usually mean-spirited. I'm pretty sure that's what's happening with you.