about the person
I'm a 26-year old guy who lives in Canada. I'd consider myself contentedly average when it comes to women. I'm currently in a two-year relationship. Before that I dated a little and had a few hook-ups. Nothing worth writing home about - any halfway cool guy has done the same things if he's been so inclined - but it's a far cry from where I started.
I didn't lose my virginity, or even kiss a girl until I was in my 20's. And even after that it still took me a lot of time to get over many of my issues. Looking back, I think my biggest problem was that I was extremely anxious around the opposite sex. But I was also a very dorky, socially awkward guy who spent much more time playing video games than hanging around with other people.
Like lots of guys, for a while I thought my salvation lay in learning a bunch of tricks and techniques to pick up girls. That did help me somewhat, but I started making the most progress when I got to work on improving my underdeveloped people skills and becoming a more genuinely attractive, sociable person. Things started to click into place after that. It was a slow process to make up for my years of interpersonal inexperience, and to get over my various insecurities and hang ups, but I gradually started to become more of the kind of person I wanted to be and have the kind of success I was looking for.
I'm not saying for a second I'm some kind of expert on the opposite sex, but I do think I've learned some things about going from Below Average to Average in that department that can help other guys that are in the same position I was once in.
1:
Things like being friendly, fun, funny, or interesting will aid you with women just as well as they'll help with anyone. So will things like having an interesting hobby, knowing good places to go, having nice style, being adept at conversation, or having lots of life experience. When you've got a lot going for you, meeting a woman can become more about you just being your cool self and her naturally becoming interested, rather than doing a bunch of complicated stuff to make her like you.
2:
Improving yourself overall isn't as bad. It's a 'wax on, wax off' kind of thing. You can do nothing to directly get better with women for months on end, but devote your time to things like hanging out with your friends, hanging out with really cool people and becoming more like them, acquiring new knowledge about the world, being more fun, learning to dance, playing the guitar, traveling, working through your hang ups and insecurities, practicing conversation, and a million other possibilities. This will hardly be nerve racking and emotionally draining. At the end of this period you'll be better with people as a whole. When you go back to interacting with women you may be shocked at how much more effortless and natural it now is compared to before. The right things to say will tend to flow out of the new, improved person you've truly become.
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Prior To Understanding What The Problems Are, An Individual Can Head In Many Different Directions, Wasting Valuable Time & Effort. When S?He Learns What The Problems Are & What Can Be Done Then S?He Has a ?Compass? To Guide Him/Her
20 Jan 2008, 10:38 pm
