I am so

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Lonely.
lately even my child has not been enough to keep my heart from feeling the hungry pain of the emptiness..

Ahhh loneliness. Well in that aspect you're not alone.


Good luck with your pursuits, if that is your intent.

pursuits? lol, you got to be kidding.
yes I want companionship, or at least the feeling for the need there of to go away.
but another relationship? damn man,
it seems every time I get into one I get majorly used and abused and tossed away like a used tampon.
I get sick of being treated that way, the girls are not worth it, only the children are, and you got to have one to get the other,
and then they try and take that from you as well.

Its like you spend 9 months struggling to get out,
then the rest of your life fighting to get back in,
then once your in it seems they try and make you regret that you ever came.

i am looking for love aswell. although, i think i am so old now that even if i find it i wont know how to act, and wouldnt want to hurt another person on a "love" level if that makes any sence. i guess i fill the emptyness with things i like and since they dont have feelings im not aware of anything i am doing to them.

i guess what you could say is being aware sucks and whoever decided to play god with earth was a cruel sob

Good luck...wishing you both find what you're looking for.

no,
its just lately all the dealing with the hardships of life while alone is getting pretty old and hard.
no matter what I do to distract my self just is not working anymore.
its been many months of having to think about and working with fighting over my child with my ex,
when you have to be your own lawyer its like forcing you to obsess over issues when one just wants to get on with life.
sometimes I just want someone to hold me when all seems to be just wrong.
many girls are lucky, if they really wanted they could always have someone,
just look at my ex, every time she finishes with one relationship she has another one lined up before its even over.
she does not truly know what its like to be alone, I wonder at times what thats like, to never be alone,
she thinks she is alone when she is not with someone she wants to be with, but truly alone?
truly without someone to hold you?
yes I hold my child, but its not the same, and there has been many many years of being truly alone,
I wonder if thats why she seems so cold hearted, she has no appreciation,
men are a common and easy commodity and true loneliness rare.
she can be all the picky she wants.
I wonder if she can even imagine it without ever knowing it her self,
unable to realize what it means and is like to and for others nor caring to because its not her having to deal with it.
heartless, no appreciation for what she does or has had, never being able to find what she truly needs because she is blind to what she has.
hurting others as she goes because she is blind to the experience, like, it sucks to be you, glad its not me.
no empathy at all, total aspie female, just the men never seem to be perfict enough, over time she finds flaws, when the flaws are truely only withen her self.

It gets easier...although that probably doesn't make you feel any better right now.

I know how you feel...and yes, it's true as a female...it may be easier to find someone...but it's just as hard to find someone that understands you.

With me it's sort of a choice...my track record with dysfunctional relationships stands at about 100%, and it's not a goal I went out trying to achieve trust me...my son's already been witness to the last one (between me and his father)...and I wish with all my heart I could erase some of the lousy memories and confusion I know he has because of it, I would hate to ever add more to it just for the sake of not being alone.

I still have my days when I get lonely, and it would be nice to just know someone cared...but they pass, I throw myself into doing the things that I love to do and it helps...and I can honestly say I've been more lonely when I was with someone then at times then when I was truly "alone".

No, for a man it is even harder, the more relationships you go through the sooner you discover what it really is your looking for and wanting, and the sooner you find what you want and need.

so the less relationships a male has or can be in the longer it takes, and the more it hurts when it fails, and the more appreciative we are when we have them, and the more resentful we are or can be when the female does not seem to appreciate or care what a male has to go through to even have a relationship.
females seem to not try as hard to make things work out, like men are more disposable, where we (or at least I did) tried to make it all work while she just sat there seeming to wait for the next reason to end things or for things to go wrong, men are to easy to replace, have to give in more often to keep the partner happy, and have to put up with more crud then we should have to put up with if the relationship was truely fair and equil.

but thats life isnt it? just the way things are.

Tried my damnest actually...didn't make me any less disposable or less replaceable.

Sometimes it happens both ways.

aspergian_mutant,

Have a think about the girls you've been attracted to or have dated.

See if you can find things in common.

It's a well known fact that women who have been abused as children or who have had parents fighting all the time, will seek out abusive husbands.

The same goes for men - no, I'm not saying you've been abused - I'm saying that you might be subconsciously attracted to the wrong sort of woman.

If you can figure out how to identify them, you can seek out the "right type".