Page 1 of 1 [ 9 posts ] 

Cyanide
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Sep 2006
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,003
Location: The Pacific Northwest

14 Feb 2008, 7:37 pm

For all of you that read my post about that girl i gave my number to...this is the same girl.

I've asked her out twice, and she hasn't actually turned me down. The first time she said she was probably going to be busy that night. The second time (last Friday), before I had even asked her, she said she had to do a bunch of studying that weekend.

We usually talk before class, but never after. Yesterday, on Wednesday, I initiated conversation with her before class, but she ended up carrying the conversation. Then after class ended, she just said "bye!" and it was kind of loud and nervous sounding. Then she started walking...and I started walking.
We walk the same path, because we catch our respective busses at the same place....she should know this. But we're in the middle of the crowded hall...she's about 10 feet ahead of me. Then she turns around and says "bye" again and walks off really quickly.
What do I make of this? Does she think I'm a creep or is she just horrendously shy? I don't know....she's been living here for 3 years and she says she doesn't know anyone. The confusion frustrates me, so I hope someone can shed some light on this.



MysteryFan3
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jun 2007
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,156
Location: Indiana

14 Feb 2008, 8:35 pm

She does sound shy if she doesn't know anyone after living there 3 years. Actually, that sounds a little fishy. At any rate, it sounds like she doesn't want to go on a date with you, but she doesn't want to hurt your feelings, either. That last part may be why she acted nervous and walked off quickly. Some people freak out a little if they have to state an unhappy thing.


_________________
To eliminate poverty, you have to eliminate at least three things: time, the bell curve and the Pauli Exclusion Principle. Have fun.


computerlove
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Age: 120
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,791

15 Feb 2008, 12:28 am

MysteryFan3 wrote:
it sounds like she doesn't want to go on a date with you, but she doesn't want to hurt your feelings, either. That last part may be why she acted nervous and walked off quickly.


agreed. Ask someone else.

Ask 10 girls out, 1 will say yes.


_________________
One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.


Cyanide
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Sep 2006
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,003
Location: The Pacific Northwest

17 Feb 2008, 2:11 am

Yesterday, on Friday, I got to class before her and pretended to be looking at my Chinese book instead of noticing her walk in. I also didn't initiate conversation with her just to test this whole thing out.

She still sat next to me, despite there being 80+ open seats in the room....and 10 seats in our row.
But she didn't talk to me. No hi/hey/hello, and no goodbye either. I made sure to leave first this time, though.

I'm still confused, but now I'm starting to lean more toward thinking she's just horrendously shy.



tbam
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 15 Feb 2008
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 120

17 Feb 2008, 2:36 am

Hey there Cyanide.

Speaking from experience of going down the same path that you are now going. I will offer you some advice.

You are over-analysing the situations, which isn't a bad thing, because you can't really help it. But you're going to have to back off. Acknowledge her only if you see her, with a hello, goodbye etc .

Spend time by yourself(or with others who share your interests) and enjoy the things you enjoy. Don't ask her out anymore. Don't be ashamed and don't feel rejected.

If she is interested she will come to you. You've already made the first move of asking her out. Leave it at that.

Don't try and act cool around her, or act unphased, just be yourself and know that you don't need to engage her, or do anything more than a courteous hello.

If anything is going to happen, friendship, relationship, its up to her to do the rest, in her own time. So don't wait around, move on and enjoy yourself.

For future girls, if you're interested. Don't be afraid to ask them out on a date, but if they say no. Just say "Ok, cool, seeya" Walk away and just think of all the things you enjoy doing.

Good luck!

- Nath



computerlove
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Age: 120
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,791

17 Feb 2008, 11:43 am

tbam wrote:
Hey there Cyanide.

Speaking from experience of going down the same path that you are now going. I will offer you some advice.

You are over-analysing the situations, which isn't a bad thing, because you can't really help it. But you're going to have to back off. Acknowledge her only if you see her, with a hello, goodbye etc .

Spend time by yourself(or with others who share your interests) and enjoy the things you enjoy. Don't ask her out anymore. Don't be ashamed and don't feel rejected.

If she is interested she will come to you. You've already made the first move of asking her out. Leave it at that.

Don't try and act cool around her, or act unphased, just be yourself and know that you don't need to engage her, or do anything more than a courteous hello.

If anything is going to happen, friendship, relationship, its up to her to do the rest, in her own time. So don't wait around, move on and enjoy yourself.

For future girls, if you're interested. Don't be afraid to ask them out on a date, but if they say no. Just say "Ok, cool, seeya" Walk away and just think of all the things you enjoy doing.

Good luck!

- Nath


bestest advice evar!
welcome to WP tbam :)


_________________
One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.


LePetitPrince
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,464

17 Feb 2008, 12:29 pm

Just be indifferent



Comkeen
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 224
Location: San Francisco, CA

18 Feb 2008, 6:10 pm

If that person wants to go out with you, she'll make time on her schedule, even if it is a little packed. I'm sorry, but I think the reason why she keeps coming up with excuses is that she doesn't want to hurt your feelings.



TrueDave
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jul 2007
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,062

18 Feb 2008, 11:54 pm

not over analizing and being indifferent actually draws women to you.

Althouth the last couple of women I talked to I honestly just wanted to hang out with them as friends (I'm not real interested right now) and they said no because they wernt interested in a romantic relationship.

I said Uh, OkAy . . . .so you still want to go have lunch or what?

Obviously they were sizing me up.

Whatever . . . .