How much of a good partner do you think you would be?

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Well, I read in another forum some thread by a woman who says she's been married to a guy who may or may not have Asperger's according to her. She describes her marriage and it doesn't sound good at all. To make a long story short, he sounds as manipulative, immature, bossy, maybe psychologically abusive and he would avoid having sex with her at any cost because he was so obsessed with the little details of life that he would claim to be stressed or uncomfortable doing so.

I don't doubt her testimony, what I wonder is if the guy may have AS and if it is the direct cause of his behaviour.

It got me scared because, well, I know I need things to be done my way in a lot of cases, and I know I can have meltdowns and all, but I want to think I'll be able to be in a relationship in a contributive way, and that I'll be able to raise a child with my eventual husband, as oppossed to being a burden to my children's well-being or needing a caregiver for life.

So, I want to know from people here who have been in relationships before (and from people who haven't) how was the experience, how good as a partner can one be and such.

The evidence suggests that I'm a good girlfriend. I'm probably a much better girlfriend than regular friend because I've had more success with relationships than friendships. I've had 5 long term relationships including the one I'm in now. The past ones all ended because I left.

I don't think AS is an excuse to be an abusive partner. It's hard to generalize because people experience AS differently. For me, it creates some problems in relationships, but it also helps me to avoid common relationship problems. For example, I often "get in trouble" for using the wrong tone, but my honesty is definitely an advantage. So, yes, aspies can have good relationships in which both people are happy.

I can't say from experience, but I think that if I can start a relationship somehow, I would be a great partner... but then again, nobody wants to hang around me for over a month before I start becoming attracted to them...

I think it's hard...

I have my routines, I'm resistant to change and any relationship is a BIG change, I'm not good with the extended family thing...I like my privacy and I need a good bit of "space".

I am NOT a piece of cake to live with...but then neither was my ex either.

I think you either have to find someone similar or someone who is accepting or understanding of the things that you just can't change and vice-versa...both of you have to have the desire to make it work... and not the hidden desire to "mold" the other into what you want.

I'm immature for 34 (yes, I have a sense of humor), I hate cleaning but I love to vacuum, and hate dogs (but I love cats), but I love to do laundry, and I don't mind cooking. I can't balance a checkbook to save my life. I am honest, and deeply caring and considerate for the woman and a good listener, but I have a lot of anger to work out. I would say that I would now be an okay partner. I'll honestly admit, I have a lot of improving to do. And um... just like all other men, I love sex. sorry...probably too much information.

im endearing and annoyingly trying...... in a stuborn sense.

I think im still single because im too nice of a person.

Right now, I'd not be all that great. But I think once I bring some of my lazyness under control, I'd be a good partner. The ex wouldn't agree, but then she was as likely as not to complain about the the things she liked (like calling me a sacastic butthole one minute, and complimenting my sense of humor the next).

What's a good partner? Without establishing this, the question is hard to answer.

I'm good at leaving people alone.
The only thing I do rashly is to occasionally freeze / shut down.
I never waste money on parties or alcohol.
I could never have sex with random people even if I wanted to.

I grew up an undiagnosed aspie, and I fit in by maintaining a quiet demeanor, surveying things carefully before acting, and figuring out how to please others. That helps a great deal in relationships, in terms of making the other person feel good. I don't cause trouble. What was harder to learn was how to stick up for myself when necessary, and that it's okay for me to ask for what I want, too.

I am goal-oriented and mature

I am respectful, and not self-centered

I am responsible

I am affectionate, and would be (eventually) very sexual

Why I am a good partner:
-I don't play silly mind games
-I'm honest
-I'm predictable
-I have a male brain (so it's easier for my boyfriend to understand me)
-I like video games
-I don't talk a lot
-I have no friends so I can spend lots of time with my partner
-I don't like telling people what to do

Why I am not a good partner:
-I don't understand people well
-sometimes I don't know what I want
-I'm an egoist
-I don't like discussing feelings
-I can't read my partner's mind
-I have lots of annoying little habits

So I'm neither good nor bad. Probably average.

i'm absolutely shocking. i think my biggest problem is that if I'm unhappy about something in the relationship, I literally cannot bring myself to say it. Then I blame the other person for continuing to do whatever was making me unhappy. I like going to gigs and clubs because of the music, but I have to drink for the stress (v. heavy drinker) and end up having meltdowns that have seen me curled up in a ball on the pavement on Oxford Street with my fingers in my ears.

Overall, if you want all your mates to think that your girlfriend is nuts, you should date me.

I am a really difficult partner- I lack empathy- Im self absorbed- I dont like things changed and I have no idea what someone else wants without their saying. Also I cut people out of my life for petty reasons and I am intollerant of others not choosing my lifestyle/politics and them wanting to watch sport! The only solution I can see is a boyfriend who I meet only on a saturday night for a date, but most men would want the relationship to move on from that. I dont think I could bare someone else living in my house and moving my things- I think AS people probably need tollerant NTs as partners as other aspies will probably want the bookshelf sorted in a different order or whatever.... we need someone who will let us have our own way.