Dating advice for wallflowers (MSN)

Post Reply New Topic

Dating advice for wallflowers

By Ellen Collis
No exaggeration: I lived in New York City for almost two years before I went on my first date. I’ve never considered myself a “wallflower,” but living in a city full of beautiful and fashionable women was definitely intimidating. I had no idea how to compete, so I didn’t really try. Eventually, I caught the attention of a great guy in spite of my demure exterior, and we’ve been dating for seven months. But I often wondered: If the ball were in my court rather than his to make the first move, where would I be? I know I’m hardly alone here—female wallflowers abound who feel awash in missed opportunities. That’s why I’ve interviewed experts and some of my more aggressive female friends for tips on how to emerge from your shell and get the attention you very well deserve.

Talk to him like he’s your pal, not a paramour
It might seem silly to approach a potential love interest in the same manner as you would a guy pal, but this tip may be just what you need to put your nerves at ease. “Talking to a guy like he’s just one of your friends takes away the pressure,” says Jessica Slotnick, LCSW, a psychotherapist in New York City. Kateri Lopez, 25, of Bronx, NY, agrees: “I talk to a guy like he's my brother, just no one special,” she says. “When I’m out, I’ll usually just be like, ‘Hey, what’s up? Are you having fun tonight?’ It puts me at ease—and him.”

more...

Okay so I only read the paragraphs that were posted in the post (I didn't read the article), but I do know for a fact that there are guys that go for that shyness in women. Shy women do definitely have an advantage over shy men though, as men are expected to make the first move. If she was forced to make the first move, she'd be in the same position that many of us aspie men that can't get women are in.

Shy women many times put out signals that come off as "Get away from me".