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Joined: 13 Feb 2008
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09 Mar 2008, 11:26 am

I live in Ontario Canada, in a village called Clarkson. I'm 28, white male. Are there any Aspie females in or near my area?

Gosh, isn't this romantic? Trolling for females on an Internet board... :roll:

886
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09 Mar 2008, 10:22 pm

That's not how you find a relationship. Of any kind.

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zee
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10 Mar 2008, 12:37 am

Why an Aspie woman specifically? I'm sure there are plenty of NTs you could have.

slowmutant
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10 Mar 2008, 4:21 am

zee wrote:

Why an Aspie woman specifically? I'm sure there are plenty of NTs you could have.

True, but an Aspie woman is more likely to be achievable for me. In the NT world, the young adult women have already left me far behind, and competing with NT males would be pointless. Hence my agonizing feelings of inadequacy, impotence, and ineptitude.

Aspies deserve people who understand, and those people will almost certainly be other Aspies. Or other disabled people, cause then a lot of the pressure to perform and be impressive is off.

I wonder if they are other dating sites for people with other disabilities, conditions which affect males and females more evenly than Asperger's Syndrome. Pardom me if this seems perverse. :oops:

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10 Mar 2008, 2:38 pm

I don't think Aspie women are more achievable, despite our seeming disability, we have no trouble getting hit on. And most of us do have standards and preferences of our own, we're not so desperate as to go out with some random guy just because he happens to be another Aspie, especially if he is insecure. And many of us prefer to be alone.

I'm not being rude, I'm just saying that you're wasting time with wishful thinking.

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10 Mar 2008, 3:02 pm

And because not everyone with AS has all the symptoms, they're not all immediately distinguishable.

And "NT" means no neurological issues whatsoever--it doesn't simply mean outside of the autistic spectrum.

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10 Mar 2008, 7:02 pm

zee wrote:

Wishful thinking? Perhaps.

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10 Mar 2008, 7:19 pm

zee wrote:

Well, in a way you are right ofcourse. Aspie girls are not easy as a rule. On the other hand meeting the right aspie girls made it possible for me to actually find someone. Not because anyone could get her (I was her first real bf, not counting someone who tried but got as far as a kiss my gf really didn't like), but because we just liked and understood eachother better.

Ofcourse what makes a difference is that I did not act like a hopeless guy. I was not after her because I thought it was easy or anything. We just found eachother to be interesting. So I cannot say going after an aspie girl is a bad strategy perse (going after someone just to get a relationship IS btw).

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10 Mar 2008, 8:22 pm

Thank you Hanwag!!

I did not mean to imply that Aspie girls are easy. My apology to zee whom I might have offended in previous statements, althought I do not retract what I said.

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11 Mar 2008, 12:06 am

zee wrote:

Zee's being blunt, but she's right. In fact, I personally am far LESS achievable than most NT women, from what I've observed, and I wouldn't be surprised if many Aspie women are the same.

The fact you're 28, male, and Aspie is a starting point only. If you want to get women's interest you'll have to say a few things about yourself, your personality, what you like, how you spend your time, and so forth.

Why don't you try posting a profile on aspieaffection.com and contact a few girls? So many aspie guys are waiting for women to make the first move -- you could wait forever.

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11 Mar 2008, 12:25 am

zee wrote:

On the easier part - yes. On finding someone who he doesn't have to explain AS to, that's the better half of the hurdle for many. Sometimes though I'd almost think the forums work better just because, interaction is the starting point rather than views and winks (one of the things that I have trouble distinguishing, at least from other people's standpoints, is initiative vs. desperation - part of why I think a lot of guys probably do have trouble with Affections is that their horrified by the thought of the later).

techstepgenr8tion
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11 Mar 2008, 12:35 am

juliekitty wrote:

Why don't you try posting a profile on aspieaffection.com and contact a few girls? So many aspie guys are waiting for women to make the first move -- you could wait forever.

The only thing that's a little weird is the view counter, I could see if someone obsessively clicks sending a heads up but I'd almost rather not know who's viewing my page just because - I think a lot of people would be more open to check each other's profiles out without the added info, its almost a bit intrusive. Like you and zee both rightfully point out though, personality is the most important point, otherwise its like diabetics thinking they have a full on connection over their condition, and its why I wish more people could both send and receive more hits without self-consciousness being a factor.

Last edited by techstepgenr8tion on 11 Mar 2008, 12:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

zee
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11 Mar 2008, 12:36 am

juliekitty wrote:

zee wrote:

Well said... AS is just not something to base a relationship on. I would look for people you share interests with first, then if you meet someone who happens to be an Aspie, good for you, but that way you could also meet an NT who you have lots in common with.

slowmutant
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11 Mar 2008, 10:36 am

Oops, I thought this was the LOVE & DATING forum.

juliekitty
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17 Mar 2008, 2:31 pm

Techno, I agree the view counter is intrusive.

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17 Mar 2008, 3:05 pm

zee wrote:

I'd have to agree with you there... Now to find an 18-25 woman who has an interest in either the IT field or church choirs...

Sorry about that... just poking a big hole in your logic... there are just some things that women just aren't interested in, and my interests happen to be in those areas...

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