How to progress a relationship?

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Zara
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11 May 2008, 5:17 pm

I'm liking a girl at my work. It seems like we have common interests; she's a gamer, does some martial arts, likes anime. She's friendly to me and we seem to get along well. She goes to my college, but will be off for the summer. I tried being closer to her yesterday at work, trying my best to carry on a conversation with her. I felt like I did okay, we talked about gaming, movies, her "training". I offered to pick her up some lunch on my break, but she declined, but she said she appreciated the offer.
She has a uncle she is going to see next weekend who is not doing well so I will be covering one of her shifts. She was worried about not being able to find coverage for all her shifts. I tried to re-assure her to not worry so much about it and go. I did manage to give her a small hug as left. She did put her head on my shoulder... that was so nice :) ... I hope things go well. It'll be about two weeks before I see her again.
I had gone into the day planning to invite her out for a snack or something, but our schedules were changed slightly so we got off at different times. I then thought about trying to invite her to a movie later in the week, but she had already seen the movie I was planning on. So I just let things be for this day. Better I not push too much right now.
I want to move this out of work. I do like talking with her, but admittedly it is a bit difficult to do at work(constant interruptions...). I'm just not sure how to progress this to outside work. Can't really try "getting a snack after work" since we usually get off at different times.

This always seems to be roadblock I run into with people I like at work. How to progress it out of work?


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Brocknoth
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11 May 2008, 8:25 pm

One of the biggest problems we all face when trying to get into a relationship is the question "how can I make myself a part of this person's life?" Differing work schedules and finding a way to cope with them falls into this category. By the sounds of it you have the right idea trying to invite her to lunch, dinner or the movies, but you can't seem to find a balance between her schedule and your own. Which of course leaves you with little time to actually talk to her.

My best response is to keep doing what you're doing and just be patient. There really is no "method" to moving a relationship out of the work place. Honestly I think it differs from person to person and from job to job. Just keep trying and planning and an opportunity will present itself eventually.


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Zara
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12 May 2008, 6:45 pm

I suppose that's what I was going to do anyway.


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MR_BOGAN
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12 May 2008, 7:08 pm

Sounds like she may just want to be friends with you, so keep that in mind.

Yeah just keep doing what you are doing.


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Space
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14 May 2008, 11:25 pm

Relationships are tough, and if you want it to progress, the other person has to do their 50%. If one person is not making enough effort, it dies. When this happens, I guess you just move on. I always think it's weird how on TV and in movies people just get into relationships and they progress. It seems like whenever I date a girl, things progress, and then end before we even get anywhere... less than a month in. I don't know why this is or how to change it.



Social_Fantom
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15 May 2008, 12:07 am

Brocknoth wrote:
My best response is to keep doing what you're doing and just be patient. There really is no "method" to moving a relationship out of the work place. Honestly I think it differs from person to person and from job to job. Just keep trying and planning and an opportunity will present itself eventually.


I agree with this. It sounds like you are doing the best with your situation. The right time will come, just be hopeful and keep trying. I honestly have a pretty good feeling about this. :)


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Zara
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16 May 2008, 10:02 pm

Okay, I thought about this today and this is what I'm going to do.

Indy 4 is coming out next weekend. I want to see it, I'm sure she wants to see it too. So I'll ask her if she would like to go see it with me, either Saturday or Sunday night after work(or daytime friday) .

If I put this out there tomorrow, that gives some time to work out the details... or if she declines I can come up with something else(like getting some doughnuts or something...)


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Zara
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17 May 2008, 5:49 pm

So this is what happened...

We're going to go see Indy 4 around noon on friday.
I'm going to go get some reserved tickets monday and confirm it with her. I have her number now too. She'll meet me over there...

:)

It has been such an exhausting day... but wow...

and a side note... girls with long hair... especially ones I like, letting it loose and all...
That just makes me loose my mind. 8O


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Zara
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17 May 2008, 9:48 pm

Good job on having the courage to ask her out Zara.
Glad it turned out well. Way to go dude! :thumright:

Now don't f**k it up.


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Social_Fantom
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17 May 2008, 9:56 pm

I would have posted that, but not that last part. :wink:


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Zara
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17 May 2008, 10:08 pm

Social_Fantom wrote:
I would have posted that, but not that last part. :wink:


Thanks. I was just joking at myself. :)


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qaliqo
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17 May 2008, 10:18 pm

It may be a "me" thing, but I have found a narrow window of opportunity. When a woman decides she likes me, I have between one hour and several days to give pursuit or the opportunity may be forever lost. This is not to say it can't ever happen, but the odds are so slim that it is a bad game to play; waiting that long will lead to expectations on my part, and on down the hill from there. You may have past the point, or it may not have have happened. I am not saying that every woman will get involved with every given person at some magical point, more that no woman will get involved with anyone at every point in time. More often than not, the decision making process will be between first sight and a year, after which this window occurs. I know it is difficult, but if you want to press your luck, wait until she is already considering it.


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