Kissing , hugging etc with ur partner

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This is the 1st time I've been in a relationship since being diagnosed. And I'm starting to notice that things my mind and my body want different things physically.
For example I really like the idea of having a full on makeout session but the other day after 5 seconds I just felt suffocated and claustrophobic.

Also we'll be watching tv and he will put his hand on my hand, I like it yet it frustrated me now I cant use the remote, scratch my face whatever I want to do with this hand because its trapped under, I feel like I'm doing it for him more then me. In theory these things I long for , but the timing isn't always right I find.

On the phone it seems so much easier to be myself and there are moments in the conversation that I feel like an urge to kiss him or hug him because he's done something cute. So I talk about what we might do when we next meet physically but I feel pressure to live up to my promise when I know somehow I wont be able to.

Also when I see him the 1st 10 minutes I'm so nervous I cant look at him the pressure is too much I start acting like a kid and jumping around or staring defiantly at the tv.

Seriously HELP

A lot of these things will get easier with time and patience. You'll get more used to his presence. I've ended up going too far through the other side - I miss having him close when I can't be with him!

If you're worried that he'll think that you're reacting to him because you don't like the attention, explain how you feel to him. Make sure he knows that you do want to be close, but you need to allow time to get more used to it. If he puts his hand on yours, leave it until it becomes uncomfortable, then move it away - but then when you're ready for it, put your hand over his again so that he knows that you want the attention again. It'll make him reassured, and give you another chance to get used to it again. The same with kissing: pull away when you're uncomfortable, but don't be shy to initiate more when you're ready.

Being nervous when you see him will be the first thing that starts to become easier. It might help you to start a "routine" for when you see him, to plan out what you'll do for that first ten minutes.

I'm single, but kissing and touching were big deals to me in my previous relationships. If there is no touch, kissing, etc., the relationship is doomed.

[quote="wob182"]This is the 1st time I've been in a relationship since being diagnosed. And I'm starting to notice that things my mind and my body want different things physically.
For example I really like the idea of having a full on makeout session but the other day after 5 seconds I just felt suffocated and claustrophobic. quote]

I've been there. I broke up with my boyfriend one year, one week and four days ago, mostly because I couldn't handle the physical contact. I'm still sort of regretting it.

But I've gotten better recently!

I actually like to hear from more guys because they think more with their urges and women think more emotionally. Does your sexual desire just overcome your sensory issues?

Just explain it to him. If he truly loves you, he'll understand. If he doesn't understand, then he doesn't truly love you..

This is the thing which annoys me most about the condition, which is that people get trapped inside their own heads. Get out of your head and into your heart. It's not suffocation, it's not being trapped, it's passion, it's being engulfed by the relationship. I realise it's hard, but leave logic at the door.

You've said this is your first relationship since being diagnosed. Did you have any of these problems beforehand? My relatively late diagnosis at age 18 has meant I've been through most of the key life experiences beforehand and so they're already normal to me, including the act of physical love. If you've had relationships beforehand, you just have to keep in mind - nothing's changed.

And as a side note, I resent this 'us against them' mentality some people on this board seem to have that suggests someone not being able to immediately understand or appreciate this equals them being a bad person.

I just started dating this girl and there are things that I'm very sensitive too. It might have something to do with the fact that I wonder if i'm asexual or the anxiety of dealing with something new like a relationship. I guess time will tell.

its been 2 weeks since i wrote this post, i would like to tell u that i'm getting more used to him and hugging physical contact. Its not perfect but i'm more used it then i was 2 weeks ago because i'm more comfortable around him.

It's good that you're getting used to him.
I'm still working on the physical contact thing with the girl I'm seeing right now. I want to touch her a lot but admittedly it's something I'm not used to. It's hard to understand if I'm doing too much or too little and I don't exactly know what she wants in those terms yet. Well I don't think I've hit a limit there yet so I'm probably ok so far.
But I have to remind myself to do something on a regular basis so I so don't come off as distant.

I never had any serious relationship but I think to me it'd be an issue. I don't like to be touched and hate kissing, with a girl I love I guess it'd be different if she gives me the time to adapt to it. When I was in love with the first girl I was seeing, I really liked to be close to her, but it had to somewhat come from own initiative and not go too far (so not comparable to the average NT couple)

I think I'd just need time to adapt to it, she should take it step by step. And with anything sexual I would definitely need time. Unless I'd be head over heels but I doubt that'd happen that I just have no issues with hitting the bed straight away.

PS: to say men think more with their urges is a bit of a generalisation. I try to not let any sexual or physical urge play any role of importance, and try to focus on the affection/emotional aspect. My libido is on the low side and I don't really like to be compared to the average man who has his hormones as guide throughout his day