Attracting the wrong type of person

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gbeagle
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14 May 2008, 1:22 am

I've had the consistent problem in my dating life of attracting people that just aren't compatible. Just curious if anyone has similar experiences or any advice.

I'm basically part metal-head :twisted: , part computer nerd, and I'm attracted to women that fall under a similar mold. They don't feel the same way about me; however, "hippies" seem to love me. About 95% of all the women that have ever been attracted to me fall under this category. What I mean by "hippies" is basically someone who's vegan, grows 420, rides around on a vintage beach-cruiser bicycle, and wears a knit beanie. Also most of these women are luddites, and hate computers (this isn't a general "hippie" thing, just specific to the women who have liked me). For some reason they're attracted to an unabashed carnivore, who wears mostly metal related t-shirts (and camo clothes sometimes), doesn't smoke pot, and lives and breathes computers/video games (heck, I'm pretty much part computer myself :wink: ).

The only thing I have even vaguely in common with any of these women is that I ride bicycles a lot. Even then though they're doing it as a method of environmentally-friendly transport (not that this is a bad thing by any means), and I'm one of those lycra-wearing freaks on a carbon-fiber bike. I'm fairly far to the left politically, so maybe that's it, but they'd have to be sensing that telepathically. I never discuss politics, except with family/really close friends.

Makes absolutely no sense why they like me, and people who actually have stuff in common with me don't. It's frustrating. It's been a very consistent thing from my teen years to now (mid-20s), and since I'm the only common factor, must be something I'm doing. Maybe being aspie I just don't project the proper social aura that syncs with the type of person I like? Instead I'm sending the wrong signals, therefore attracting the wrong kind of person. Still I think they would notice that we're not compatible though.



Tim_Tex
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14 May 2008, 1:27 am

I am somewhat of a liberal, but I always end up attracting neo-fascists.


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Postperson
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14 May 2008, 2:52 am

I attract psychos, obsessive types. ugh. people are wierd.



andriarose
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14 May 2008, 7:08 am

I'm the same age as you.
I'm a gothy rivethead type girl.
I'm also an unrepentant computer geek.
Oh, and I'm a vegetarian socialist.

I somehow attract metalheads. :chin:

I'm actually attracted to androgynous overly-cultured bookworms. 8O

I'm just as confused as you are.



gbeagle
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14 May 2008, 9:12 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
I am somewhat of a liberal, but I always end up attracting neo-fascists.


That must suck. I'm sorry you have a similar type of problem dude.

andriarose wrote:
I somehow attract metalheads. :chin:

I'm actually attracted to androgynous overly-cultured bookworms. 8O

I'm just as confused as you are.


Yeah, attraction related things have always confused me. That's funny that other metalheads are after girls like you. Guess I'm not unique in that respect then. Must be some great cosmic pattern here. Seems there's some magic rule (for aspies) that we only get pursued by the people we're not looking for. Oh, and long live computer nerds!



simplyhere
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15 May 2008, 12:07 am

The pattern in those I attract in the past has been guys 2 years younger than me. . .and recently I keep attracting guys 6 years younger than me??? What is with that.

And to make it more confusing. . .my ex boyfriend (who I recently started dating again) is 10 years older than me...go figure.



Veresae
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15 May 2008, 12:29 am

andriarose wrote:
I'm the same age as you.
I'm a gothy rivethead type girl.
I'm also an unrepentant computer geek.
Oh, and I'm a vegetarian socialist.

I somehow attract metalheads. :chin:

I'm actually attracted to androgynous overly-cultured bookworms. 8O

I'm just as confused as you are.


Hahah. A lot of metalhead girls have the goth look, so maybe they're just thinking you have things in common with them.

It's funny how most goths these days actually prefer industrual or metal to traditional goth rock. Myself included, naturally.

Anyway, I can relate. I'm gothic and geeky yet I seem to attract girls who are...well, often not my type.



Sarcastic_Name
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15 May 2008, 1:09 pm

You can't really put me into a group. I guess electornic/industrial, computer, driking, gamer guy. I tend to attract underage girls, and I happen to look like I'm in my 20's. :/ It's weird.


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15 May 2008, 2:37 pm

For girls: I prefer shy, thinish (but healthy), girls with big brains. For some reason, I attract bubbly, extroverted girls with little education and little book smarts, who are seriously heavy. (Like, in the UNHEALTHY range.)

For guys: I prefer confident boys with pretty eyes and a taste for adventure, preferably a year or two older than me. I attract sweet, shy, subbie boys who are a bit younger than me, and want me to look after them. The few times I've dated boys who were more dominant than me, they turn out to be TOTAL jerks with MAJOR mental problems.

I can't win. :P I don't get it.



Jaejoongfangirl
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15 May 2008, 5:56 pm

I like guys that can be sweet and listen to me when I need reassurance. I also like guys that are loud, talkative and have big personalities and are just fun to be around. Appearance wise, I'm drawn to lots of things. I've liked guys with blonde hair, blue eyes. Pale skin and dark hair. I've liked guys with deep, deep chocolate brown skin and dark hair. I've liked asian guys. Mexican guys. Indian guys. Whatever. It really depends on the individual.

Unfortunately, I tend to attract girls. I have no idea why, but only two people have told me they like me as more than a friend, and they were both girls. Sigh.
Little note: I have no problem with homosexuality, I support gay marriage. I'm just personally not gay.



AnonymousAnonymous
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15 May 2008, 7:08 pm

You can't place me in a group either.

I guess shy/nerdy/nice/activist/guy.

Because of my height,
I tend to attract freshmen & sophomores
who are more of the innocent-looking type.

In my opinion, seniors dating freshmen
look & sound really creepy & disgusting.

I really can't say anything because
one of my senior friends is dating a freshmen.


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GoatOnFire
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15 May 2008, 11:54 pm

It sounds like opposites do attract.

I have so many personalities it'll be hard for me to find an opposite. :(


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tharn
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16 May 2008, 12:18 am

GoatOnFire wrote:
It sounds like opposites do attract.

I have so many personalities it'll be hard for me to find an opposite. :(


Not that it's much consolation... even though opposites do tend to attract, people who are more similar have more success in the long run. (statistically speaking.) So we have a natural bias towards relationships that are unlikely to work out. :P



Cyanide
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16 May 2008, 12:39 am

I seem to attract Christians, crazies and crazy Christians.



amaren
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16 May 2008, 1:21 am

I like thin but with muscles, goth and punk style, or perhaps hippie on girls, who like adventures and have a healthy self esteem.

I seem to attract butch girls and nerdy, podgy guys (no muscles, no sense of adventure) who have serious self esteem issues. I once tried a guy who was confident - turned out he was a psycho with a savior complex, who was cruel to me to make sure I was always too upset to think I could do without him. Not a nice guy.

I suspect I'm just fussy - but I do seem to attract those I least want.


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