the "urge"

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Ok, I'm kinda embarrassed to even say it, but at 21 years old, still waiting to lose "it".

Just a few minutes ago, on a dating site im on, i sent email to two girls that are wanting an intimate encounter..

And now some friends of mine say im crazy. But to be honest, I'm just losing it, 21 years old, and still a virgin, and don't want to be. I really want to lose it and "play" (if you will).

So, am I crazy and just impatient? I might need help for all I know.

Oh, and not just some one night stand thing, I would like to start something if possible...

Be careful not to put yourself in a position where you can be taken advantage of.

Even though I got rif of "it" some years ago. I'm sometimes eager for more "play."

I can totally feel your pain, dude.

I'm not exactly sure what to do about it either. I don't want to be a virgin forever but I don't think in reality sex would be all that enjoyable but I still want to know. It would probably just lead to a panic attack really. A relationship seems pretty much impossible unless she was incredibly patient.

It's your decision really, but the only thing that sounds crazy is that they may not be who they claim to be. Just make sure, ya know.

I am in a hurry to lose mine as well, but it is nearly impossible to even attract other Aspies, much less NTs. And the very few I attract tend to be neo-fascists who don't believe in premarital sex.

Dont worry about it. You're feelings are TOTALLY normal and understandable for any 21 year old virgin. Having a gf is MUCH more than just somebody to f**k on a regular basis. Maybe what you really want is to get laid in the first time. You're just a little impatient-no big deal .

The so-called "urge" can be fulfilled without even paying a prostitute for it... just give yourself a climax. So why are you so anxious to "lose it"? Peer pressure. Do not do things just because other people have done them. Anyone can "lose it" when given the opportunity so it's not like some big accomplishment. Disregard what the NT a**holes tell you and be your own man.

While you're at it, put a pepperoni on a potato chip and call it a pizza.

If meeting somebody online for a NSA fling works for you, go for it. I wouldn't go into that expecting or even hoping for a relationship, though. Dude, you cannot force that kind of chemistry. It will happen when it happens, or maybe not ever (not to weewee on your parade or anything), but you're gonna find out the hard way eventually that relationships are one of those "Be careful what you ask for - you just might get it" things. It sounds soooo wonderful on paper, but it's often - and I do mean OFTEN - more trouble than it's worth. You think socializing with a handful of people you barely know can cause an anxiety attack, wait until you find yourself EXPECTED to anticipate and satisfy one individual's every whim twenty-four seven. I'm not saying magic doesn't happen, but it's as rare as any other kind of magic - mostly happens in fiction and always leads to tragedy.

Get laid, it's a confidence builder, it'll be good for you. Romance is the diametric opposite - it will sap you of everything you ever liked about yourself and leave you disillusioned and empty inside. No matter how many times you see it, Romeo and Juliet never ends well.

"Thank You! Good night! And don't forget to wear a rubber!"
- Steven Tyler
(on SNL's Wayne's World, Feb 17th, 1990)

I would tell you how to "lose it", but it'd get a lot of negative responses. What I did in your situation is hire an escort. She was very friendly and patient, as I struggled at every step. But the moment I was "inside", I knew that my virginity days were over. That was the greatest moment of my life. It was really hard to keep a straight face for a week. But honestly, it improved my confidence dramatically.

i do it by "myself" almost every night.. it's not doing it anymore..

i dont want to hire, i want it to be just for the playfulness and pleasure, and to get rid of virginity... i mean, i know a lot of tricks and moves just from watching videos, but no way to actually do any of them.

Have you considered buggery? It's all the rage right now.

whats that?

Ask CityAsylum about buggery.

Hey, if it works, then it's enough.

And involving others isn't going to make your cravings any more manageable... in fact, it'll make them worse. Sexuality is like an addiction... the more you take, the more you crave, the more stupid and reckless things you're willing to do in order to get it. Of course, this is all going to fall on deaf ears, but whatever...

Yeah, I've heard that getting a taste of it will just make you want more. Wait for a steady partner and w*k constantly in the meantime.