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i have been in a relationship for 15 years with a man who my therapist had suspected may be aspergers. i am alexithymic. it is utterly heartbreaking, devastating to love someone who just says "i dont know what to say" after they break your heart and don't even care for hurting you because they "can't" understand.. it is the cruelest torture. and it feels like a cop out they hide behind being different as an excuse for being an assshole. aspys aren't stupid. it feels like a cruel joke to be told every day "i love you" and then slapped in the face when your emotional reactions to their behaviour are inconvenient or annoying. why be in a relationship if you can't be fkd to give a s**t about other peoples feelings. on the receiving end it just feels like lazy/"too hard basket". i have all sorts of therapy and i continually try and keep things simple to avoid conflict but i cant do all the work. it seems like ultimately aspys would prefer to be alone even if they say otherwise.

Firstly aspies come in many different forms and can have many different personality types

Secondly i appreciate it can be hard to be in a relationship with someone is an aspie. I do not know of your partners behaviour but sometimes we genuinely do not know what to say or do. While that is heartbreaking for you it is also heartbreaking for us, we want to be that person who can react correctly to social situations and we try but it's like being blind to social ques.

Unnderstanding your parents point of view can be very difficult for us. It's not for lack of trying. Like you cannot interpret your own emotions and aspie cannot interpret the emotions of others sometimes.

For example it's like me saying to you, 'you can't interpret your own emotions cause your not trying hard enough'. It would be unfair of me to say that to you similarly how it's unfair to ask and aspie to recognise body language and emotion in others.

I mean no ill will I'm just trying to explain what it's like for us aspies. I hope you feel better soon and am sorry you are feeling heartbroken.

Really depends on the aspie person you end up with. Personally me and my bf (both aspies) are super clingy and I hate being away from him. We're also super loving physically and verbally.

It sounds like you're incompatible with your partner. Part of it may be that they have aspergers (or at least the basis of most of your issues), but a lot of it may be their personality. We vary.