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hurtloam
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03 Oct 2016, 1:39 am

I can't help shaking my head when this idea of being too nice to get a girl comes up. It's not that women see a guy and think oh hes too nice I'm going to reject him.

It's the actual unappealing things that he says or does that put her off.

I met someone recently and my friend's mum nudged me and said, I was talking to him and he's nice, suggesting he might be suitable for me.

But his mannerisms really annoyed me. His turns of phrase really annoyed me. He would throw a little clichéd quote into what he said to make a point. I found him subtly negative and self righteousness.

Those things irritated me.

It doesn't matter how nice you are. If the girl you're interested in is irritated by how you express yourself then that's the problem. It's a pure fluke that you're nice too.

Move on. Find someone who actually like you.



The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Oct 2016, 1:46 am

Another Nice Guy thread....

#300121155500

It's starting to compete the number of stars in the universe.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 03 Oct 2016, 1:48 am, edited 2 times in total.

auntblabby
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03 Oct 2016, 1:46 am

people are so picky.



The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Oct 2016, 1:50 am

Quote:
Move on. Find someone who actually like you.


Isn't it possible that the things he says annoy 99.99% of women?

So the solution for such guys wouldn't be just moving on, they need to fix something, no?



hurtloam
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03 Oct 2016, 2:04 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Quote:
Move on. Find someone who actually like you.


Isn't it possible that the things he says annoy 99.99% of women?

So the solution for such guys wouldn't be just moving on, they need to fix something, no?


Well, yes. But I thought it might be too harsh to start off with that.



auntblabby
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03 Oct 2016, 2:06 am

some people are just not "fixable."



Jacoby
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03 Oct 2016, 2:16 am

No offense but it seems really petty to reject someone because you dislike someone's 'turns of phrase', would you like to be held to the same standard? Maybe you can explain this better and tell us what this person said specifically since I am having trouble understanding. If minor annoyances make you undateable then we might all end up alone here! 8O



auntblabby
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03 Oct 2016, 2:26 am

it seems along with every other kinda polarization happening in our society, also in relationships/relational politics, more and more picayune pickiness is leading to a kind of Mexican standoff among the genders.



The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Oct 2016, 2:30 am

Jacoby wrote:
No offense but it seems really petty to reject someone because you dislike someone's 'turns of phrase', would you like to be held to the same standard? Maybe you can explain this better and tell us what this person said specifically since I am having trouble understanding. If minor annoyances make you undateable then we might all end up alone here! 8O


I was wondering the same about what exactly is that, seems to me like another vague "no chemistry" mystery thing .

What if it was an Asperger side effect? :lol:



auntblabby
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03 Oct 2016, 2:33 am

so I wonder how many aspie women wouldn't be caught dead with an aspie male?



hurtloam
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03 Oct 2016, 2:36 am

auntblabby wrote:
people are so picky.


But how could you possibly be happy with someone that irritates you?There's just no good that could come out of dating someone who's just the only available person even though you don't really like them.

Both people will get hurt. I've seen marriages fall apart because they just married the first person who was interested in them, even though they weren't compatible. Sometimes people need to be a bit more picky.



sly279
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03 Oct 2016, 2:41 am

hurtloam wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
people are so picky.


But how could you possibly be happy with someone that irritates you?There's just no good that could come out of dating someone who's just the only available person even though you don't really like them.

Both people will get hurt. I've seen marriages fall apart because they just married the first person who was interested in them, even though they weren't compatible. Sometimes people need to be a bit more picky.

You'll never find someone who won't irritate you. Everyone will have things that irritate you. It's about dealing with those things exchange for all the other things that make you happy with them.



auntblabby
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03 Oct 2016, 2:50 am

hurtloam wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
people are so picky.


But how could you possibly be happy with someone that irritates you?There's just no good that could come out of dating someone who's just the only available person even though you don't really like them.

Both people will get hurt. I've seen marriages fall apart because they just married the first person who was interested in them, even though they weren't compatible. Sometimes people need to be a bit more picky.

the problem seems to be that people in general are getting so picky that they are throwing the baby out with the bathwater. they are pickying themselves into a corner with no escape. they are pickying themselves into life-long solitude because they will not bend just a bit, will not adapt.



sly279
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03 Oct 2016, 3:09 am

auntblabby wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
people are so picky.


But how could you possibly be happy with someone that irritates you?There's just no good that could come out of dating someone who's just the only available person even though you don't really like them.

Both people will get hurt. I've seen marriages fall apart because they just married the first person who was interested in them, even though they weren't compatible. Sometimes people need to be a bit more picky.

the problem seems to be that people in general are getting so picky that they are throwing the baby out with the bathwater. they are pickying themselves into a corner with no escape. they are pickying themselves into life-long solitude because they will not bend just a bit, will not adapt.

Yep but aren't they better Alone then with worthless men like me?



auntblabby
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03 Oct 2016, 4:04 am

sly279 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
people are so picky.


But how could you possibly be happy with someone that irritates you?There's just no good that could come out of dating someone who's just the only available person even though you don't really like them.

Both people will get hurt. I've seen marriages fall apart because they just married the first person who was interested in them, even though they weren't compatible. Sometimes people need to be a bit more picky.

the problem seems to be that people in general are getting so picky that they are throwing the baby out with the bathwater. they are pickying themselves into a corner with no escape. they are pickying themselves into life-long solitude because they will not bend just a bit, will not adapt.

Yep but aren't they better Alone then with worthless men like me?

you are NOT worthless! you just haven't found the proper venue for yourself yet. remember it is a matter of frequency. two people must be on the same frequency before communication/rapport can happen. us aspies are on an uncommon frequency, not too many like us so naturally it will be harder for us to find others like us. there are far less of us than NTs or people who can successfully emulate NTs.



The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Oct 2016, 5:14 am

auntblabby wrote:
so I wonder how many aspie women wouldn't be caught dead with an aspie male?


Dead from boredom you mean?