Relationship problems

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My fiance has asperger's and I have bipolar. I am medicated but he isn't for the obvious reasons there's no medications for that. We fight a whole lot. Does anyone have advice on how to reach resolutions and closure with an asperger's person? He says that I don't know how to drop a fight and will fight forever, but I really don't I am just trying to get resolution and closure with him. Can someone give me advice on how to explain that I am not "a spaz" just because it makes me pissed off if I lose important things or have annoying mishaps in my day? He seems to think I should not have irritation at anything.

My guess is that you have two different definitions for resolutions; his more pragmatic, yours more emotive. That isn't a bad thing, but it has to be communicated which one you are working towards. Sometimes, instruction is helpful... talk him through something more minor so he understands what it is you want. It helps.


M.

The biggest issue with AS is not being able to understand social cues, or understand what somebody else may be wanting. Sometimes you will have to be explicit about things you want/need. I'd try writing a letter, so he can have time to dwell on it and go over things.

I'd suggest giving him some time to work things out on his own. When you argue about something, you can't always expect closure so soon. It might even take a few days. Just tell him how you feel, and give him time, and talk about it later when things are calm. I know when my boyfriend makes me angry, I sometimes just need a little time to NOT talk about it, so I can calm down and talk sensibly, instead of out of anger or annoyance.

I hope that made sense!