judging women on their looks.

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As long as it's not the part where the sheep are scared.

Seriously that could be anywhere in the US, depending on your POV.

I don't want a physical relationship with someone I'm not physically attracted to, I don't want a social relationship with someone I'm not socially attracted to and I don't want an intellectual relationship with someone I'm not intellectually attracted to. I don't think there's anything wrong with that but seeing as how I'm totally socially repellent it makes no difference at all.

I learned the hard way that looks really are only tip of the iceberg. Liking woman solely on looks alone just doesn't work , besides is the extra effort to beat other "studs" to get the goddess really worth it , if your just gonna get tired of her saying "ummm uh... i dont get it" within days?

If I were the type to be considered "gorgeous" (I'm an average, I'd say) then I believe it would be extremely frustrating to be taken only at face value and treated like "arm candy." How would you tell if a potential partner wanted you for you, instead of for your "trophy appeal?" What would be the incentive to develop character, intelligence, or personality?

Being left out of the will, perhaps?

Oh, I've been disowned since I left home at 17. Left the family church and went in the Navy, you see. Shameful for a girl to be a sailor! LOL

Imagine finding yourself married to someone who is beautiful on the outside but has a horrible personality . You shouldn't date someone who physically disgusts you, but you have to have an emotional/ mental connection or you will eventually be miserable. I'm glad I have a significant degree of face blindness, I was never swayed by a man's attractiveness or lack thereof. I always saw the "inside."

I agree with John, neko, and a lot of the other people here - its a self knowledge issue. If you know that your ability to be attracted to someone is very brittle, and you know that it draws up (quite involuntarily) some very sharp feelings of physical repulsion, like two positive or negative magnets, when you aren't attracted to someone to try and make things happen anyway - its best to just deal with it as best you can.

On the argument that no relationship strictly built on looks ever lasts, I don't think anyone would debate that here. I think anyone with any depth cares most about their significant other's intelligence, maturity, integrity, shared values, what kind of personality they have, how complimentary their personality is to their own, how reliable they are as a partner (as well, as conversely, they won't get them into drama). Where looks come in is they set a certain minimum; as in many people may have the sorts of values they're looking for but as another set of minimums, you have to be able to be attracted to them - if you aren't it'll show and show badly, if they do have a great personality you almost want to keep yourself from leading em on for a drop.

And yes, everyone who's stated that both sides judge a lot is very much correct. Guys do judge on looks quite often, women do judge on social/conformity perfection just as often - its inconvenient for both sides but hard-wiring is hard-wiring, when you fight it because it doesn't feel right that your like that, its not a well thought out way to go and with a lot of things of that nature it just causes more misery on all sides. Some people are, in my books, very lucky because they're not built to where they have a sharp draw or push regarding attraction; unfortunately I've found that I do and to keep myself acting at the level of integrity that I'd want of myself, it needs to be there. I don't want to flake on anyone but I know that with the way I'm built I have limits, in such a way that part of that means preventative medicine.

Same, except I was 18, and the only 'shame' for me was that I was the only man in my family for three generations back who had not joined the Army.

Every woman has her own particular beauty, if she would only express it.

Here is the way I see it:

I see an attractive women, I'm going to try harder to get her attention and get to know her and learn about her personality. If she's got a bad personality and we can't even be friends, then I'll ditch her. If she's good enough to be friends but not to date, then it'll stay as friends.

If she's not attractive, I'll do the same thing but I won't try so hard. If it works out, I'll have a friend (and if she has an awesome personality, then by default, I'll start to become physically attracted to her). If she is just average, then I'll just be friends and it'll stay like that.

If she's ugly and has a bad personality, then I'm not going to waste my time with her.

So for all those people saying "beauty is skin deep" and "personality lasts forever" and all that other stuff.
Seriously, I'm not gonna have kids with someone I don't find attractive both physically and mentally.
I'd rather be friends with someone with avg looks/personality than married to someone with bad looks but good personality (or bad personality / good looks).

We all judge on appearance , it's a human nature. Have you heart the story of the little singer girl in China Olympic ceremony?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7556058.stm

I am sure that Yang Peiyi will grow to a bitter - complicated woman.

Not everybody. Why do you think I've been stressing the "wait a while" line to see if I truly like her personality before trying to go out with her?

Deep inside, you are stressing on the "wait a while" line in order to see a proof that she is physically attracted toward you, you are overweighted and poor.... and you do realize deep inside that is a turn off for a large part of girls , that's why you are so super-hesitated to initiate any move.
Knowing her 'whole' personality before going out with her (which is impossible) is a mere excuse for your worst demon:your fear of how being judged by the girl and of not being physically attractive to her.

I am totally sure that you asked yourself something like that:"would she like/accept a poor fat pal like me?"

I think that you have to find the person you are romantically dating to be attractive in some way. There are physical components to that. It might be as simple as good hygiene (they dont smell bad etc.), good grooming (their fingernails are clean and nicely shaped), etc. Or it may be things they cannot control, like the shape of their face, their height, even to a degree, their weight or frame size/shape (petite, athletic, curvy, muscular or lanky). We all have things we are attracted to physically, in people, in aesthetics in objects and places even.

What I hate to see is when a person becomes so narrow minded and picky that once they choose someone they harp on one aspect like a drone. Endlessly. I've had boyfriends where I thought everything was great until they began to harp on something so picky it was bizarre. Looking back at those pix of myself at the time, and even showing the pix to others (sometimes even strangers out of curiosity, not often tho) I was in no way deserving of such scorching criticisms.

When someone becomes obsessive about their partner being perfect from head to toe (perfect of course by THEIR standards which they do not realise is not THE truth) it is a symptom of something else I now think. I now think it is a symptom of fear of intimacy and a wish to push the other person away. In which case it would sure be nice if they were self aware enough to realise they're just done with that relationship and let the other person go instead of tormenting them and giving them a complex!

It depends on what your perspective is really. Looks I suppose are one of the first things you'll see in most situations. So naturally a good looking woman or man would spark your interest first. For me I think looks are an important part of a relationship, particularily when to gets..... sexual. Of course there other things. I would like the girl to be relative intelligent not necessarily a genius but capable of having a good conversation with. I know some people claim only inner beauty is most important but well I just don't me going out with a seriously overweight woman. It seems shallow but it just doesn't work for me. You can't change what you want just suit the world perspective of it should be. Reality is reality. Black and white don't exist here. Anyway I really think there should at least be balance not extreme in either way of the equation.