judging women on their looks.

Post Reply New Topic

Yes, I just heard about that recently. It is a truly shameful indictment of the way the world is today.

Funny, but my first thought on reading was to imagine the girl who has the singing voice on a psychiatrists couch 40 years from now explaining that she is bitter because people judged her negatively because of her appearance.

The trouble is, from my experience, psychiatrists do not allow physical appearance as an explanation for anything. It is all in your mind. The rest of the world is fine it's you that needs to change and all you need do is attend therapy for another decade or so. This example proves otherwise.

In fact I'm so outraged by it, I may well start a whole thread on it to point out the huge level of discrimination against 'non-good-looking' people in the world today.



The ones who don't judge on looks are those of us with less than average looks - and the dishonest, of course. Can you find examples of a physically beautiful person - male or female - who has a partner who is both ugly and poor ie they are attracted purely by 'the inside' ?

I believe we all have an idea (maybe vague, maybe precise) of the 'league' that we are in for possible partners. And this league is primarily based on appearance, the rest is putting you a few points ahead of the others in your league, but you'll never get into the higher league as long as you look like that. So much energy is wasted on going 'out of our league', so much misery is caused by the inevitable rejections whatever you do or say. Positive thinking and the 'you can get whatever you want' books are huge industry these days and they care more about their own income than damage caused by the false hopes they raise.

I have to agree with this.
One of the complaints that I've heard about all of the ridiculously beautiful people on t.v. is that it conveys the impression, subconsciously, that beautiful potential partners are quite common and thus artificially raises people's expectations of what they think they can get in a partner.

I think wishing for physical attractiveness in the other is a problem if it becomes a liability to you. For instance if a person behaves more like Hal's friend in Shallow Hal (the man broke up with a model because one of her toes was 'too long'). No one is ever perfect enough for such a person, and it turned out the character in the movie had an imperfection himself that he was sensitive about. They say that's usually how it is - the person demanding absolute physical perfection is displacing their own anxiety and giving someone else a complex.

But there is nothing wrong in wanting to be physically attracted to your romantic partner. I'd say, just try to be nice about it. Some things people can control and some things they can't, and that includes weight by the way for many people.

It's nice to be physically attracted to your partner. But it's also nice when a physcally attractive person is attracted to you.

("Wow! A cheerleader wants to go out with me?! !")

Look at it this way, if a creepy street bum - complete with filthy beard, raggedy clothes, and urine-scented cologne - calls you a "pretty girl," you are likely to feel as much revulsion for yourself as for the bum.

But if a Pierce Brosnan / Brad Pitt / Johnny Depp type - complete with rakish smile, good fashion sense, and no B.O. at all - calls you a "pretty girl," you are as likely to feel good about yourself as you do about them.

People tend to inspire good feelings in proportion to their good looks, but only until you get to know them better.