Lowering ethics to compensate

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OK I know most aspies have a harder time finding dates than NTs. But also have strengths in other areas, like computers and keeping mental databases. How many of you would consider bending ethics a little to get a significant other, such as digging dirt up on a romantic rival and discretely informing your intended of the results, etc.

Tell me it would not it boost your ego 1000X to steal a woman from an NT? It often seems the 'taken' women are more amiable toward aspies, and the single women are repelled by aspies, even if they have looks, job,car, boat etc. Something doesn't click with these single women, and you get NO feedback to improve your game. so some justification may lie there, as this would expand the pool, us aspies need a broader pool. There are handicap spaces and disability payments, how about a little DIY compensation? Just don't take one from another aspie.

So how far can/do you bend the rules to compensate?

I would never want to steal a woman from anyone unless they were abusive. I add that quantifier because I've actually done that.

If the guy didn't do anything wrong then no, I wouldn't get any pleasure out of it.

And doing this would be an a**hole move, and if anyone find out, you'd look like one too. Ethics are what define me, and without them I wouldn't be me. Changing my ethics to get a girl? I may as well change who I am and get a different girl.

Out of question.

I live by the principle of not doing anything to someone that I don't want others to do to me. I would not want someone to steal my girl from me if I had a girlfriend, so out of principle I don't want to approach a woman who is in a relationship. I've been there: being attracted to a girl, then finding out she has a boyfriend, so I just took a step back and switched to "friends only" modus. It wasn't pleasant to see her with her boyfriend, but in the end I rather have that than not being able to look into a mirror without self-disgust. Making a move towards a girl who is not single is out of question for me.

Steal another guy's girl?

You're joking right??

I'm all in the opinion of just being friends only if that's what the solution calls for.

I lowered my ethics, but in a different way. For a long time, I believed that paying for sex is just wrong, even when I was a virgin at 18. Years passed, and I still couldn't find any girl who liked me; I didn't even kiss a girl until I was 20. When the movie 40-Year-Old Virgin came out, I knew I was in danger of ending up like him. Eventually, I reached a point where I felt like I had no other choice but man up, get over my principles, face my fears, and hire an escort. So I spent some time researching escorts in my city, picked the one I liked, and met her at a hotel later that week.

I walked out of the room with big goofy grin. And it was hard to keep myself from smiling the next two days. I never regretted my decision since then. An activity I used to look down upon saved me from becoming a 40-year-old virgin. My biggest fear was wiped out in one moment.

No offense whatsoever, but the point of that film was really to show that it is not shameful to be a virgin. The characters in the film were all quite weird while the most normal and friendly guy was the 40 year old virgin. The one message, if any, the film had was showing that the virgin was the nicest of everyone in the film and that he had nothing to be ashamed for.

Also, not having kissed a woman at age 20 isn't that rare I think, at least not if I look on my own lovelife

Anyway, not intended as any bad comment towards your decision to hire an escort. Just trying to say you should not feel ashamed as society may likes to give the image of being virgin is wrong or weird, in reality however this is absolutely not the case and a lot more common than you'd expect.

Uh...what do you get when you 'steal' someone from their relationship? Someone you can't trust to do the same to you...

^For sure.

I had a boyfirend once who bought me chocs and flowers for Valentines day. I thought how romantic but then he rushed off all of a sudden and I found out he rushed off because he was trying to get onto this 15 year old he meet over at the park.

It made me so mad

So much for romance

I was not advocating in any way stealing mates for sport. Just trying to get a read on how fellow aspies follow societies rules even when they are excluded from some of the benefits. I figured some would follow the 'rules' no matter what, and some would say that desperate times call for desperate measures.

Only time I actually considered 'stealing' a woman. In that case I knew her before they became an item, and she was getting friendly toward me a year or so later. Guess they had a fight or something, at the time I decided to wait a few weeks and if she was still that way I'd go for it, otherwise back off.

Ar way of bending ethics involves some of the 'alpha' stuff. Alot of NTs do this, basically misleading a partner (usually a man to a woman) about the type and length of relationship desired. IE hint at marriage when a short term fling is desired.

Well Ive never tried to steal a man from his woman NEVER and if anyone ever did it to me I would kill them.