Do people assume you're gay?

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Yupa
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13 Aug 2008, 2:19 pm

Maybe it's because I have a high-pitched voice for a guy (people often mistake me for a girl over the phone), and I get told that "your voice sounds gay", or maybe because I act in a way that others interpret as being a little effeminate for a guy and am a little more flamboyant than most guys, but for some reason a lot of people I know seem to just assume that I'm homosexual and in high school people thought I had a crush on my gay best friend.
In fact, when I told people last year that there was a girl I had a crush on, they were very surprised to learn that I actually liked girls at all.
Do any other guys here have people just assume right off that you're gay?
I usually just laugh it off to other peoples' stupidity and preconceived notions, but I was wondering, how do you handle it?



ToadOfSteel
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13 Aug 2008, 3:23 pm

I've had guys hit on me before because I turned down a girl that made an overt pass at me. While I turned her down because she was practically devoid of any substantive personality, in high school, most guys can't see past the surface, and therefore thought I was gay...

Finally, as everyone else around me caught up in maturity, they finally understood why and stopped bugging me about it



ablomov
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13 Aug 2008, 4:31 pm

God, did I want a girl. Never got one. Two drunken fumbles, nothing. That was thirty years ago. I've watched enough porn I know how to f**k.



MrSinister
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13 Aug 2008, 5:11 pm

ablomov wrote:
God, did I want a girl. Never got one. Two drunken fumbles, nothing. That was thirty years ago. I've watched enough porn I know how to f**k.


Two drunken fumbles? That's one more than I've ever got...


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Prof_Pretorius
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13 Aug 2008, 5:21 pm

Apparently I've given reason for people to 'suspect' I'm gay. I had one bloke make a pass at me, and a mate in school (who was into the bi-sexual thing back in the seventies) wanted to (erm, you know ...)


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ablomov
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13 Aug 2008, 5:21 pm

You only got ONE drunken fumble - hell - thats bad. I am so sorry, your fumble allowance shd appear at any time now! Actually best get drunk first as trying anything like that sober pre midnightcanresult in a night behind bars! Frigid b*****s.......



Brunny
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13 Aug 2008, 5:37 pm

I've often been assumed to be gay though never quite worked out why. I don't think I behave in a particularly camp manner or anything. Perhaps it is because a girl showed interest in me but I failed to notice it because of my poor reading of non-verbal language, (or even verbal language what with all the hints and twists and double-meanings that NTs use).



Eh-Lih-Menh-Tah-Rih
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13 Aug 2008, 6:16 pm

Lots of people assume I'm gay. I think that there are a few reasons for this.

1. When I was younger, being straight, I never looked at men because I was only interested in girls hence I picked up a lot of female affectations. I also avoided looking at men because it was too dangerous. So I never really learnt how to act like a man.

2. Watching girls dance it just looked more fun than dancing like a boy so I got into dancing like a girl a lot for most of my adult life. Some of this leaked into my day to day body language.

3. I like to wear girls tops because you can find lots of fun and original designs for a few quid in charity shops and they are more fitted so they show off my yoga body better!

Interestingly, it's usually straight men and women who make this mistake (thinking I'm gay). Gay men don't seem to pick me up on the gaydar unless, for some strange reason, they're indo-asian or on ecstasy!



techstepgenr8tion
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13 Aug 2008, 6:19 pm

Back in junior high and highschool yeah, being on haldol and then risperidal not only made my body a physical torture chamber but it had the added benefit of making it physically impossible to hold myself up with any authority, it rounded and softened mannerisms, and yes - it even had me speaking with a lisp.



CelticRose
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13 Aug 2008, 6:20 pm

Since I started wearing my hair in a crewcut, I've had women hit on me (I'm a straight female). It's amazing how people make assumptions about you based on your appearance. :roll:


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Rainbow-Squirrel
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13 Aug 2008, 6:46 pm

Yeah, it has happened a couple of times, I guess it's because of the way I look, face traits, way of moving, of speaking, sometimes dressing, a general sense of gentleness. In one occasion I had to fight back a quite explicite flirting (via mobile phone messages)... :? :wink:



crackedpleasures
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13 Aug 2008, 8:32 pm

Happens all the time.

1) I have a high pitched voice, on the phone most people think I am female

2) I wear make-up (eyeliner on daily basis, mascara on occasions as well, but eyeliner is a daily routine)

3) I have a bit female gestures in terms of hand movements and way of walking, not sure why

4) I dislike the macho type of behaviour or typically male behaviour

5) I rarely approach girls, but this has to do with my shyness and erotophobia rather than with not interested in doing it (in fact, the failing to approach the girls that attract me frustrates me)



So yeah, people often think I am gay. Not a problem for me since I have no issues with gays and thus see it as no negative word. Gay people are as normal as straight people, I don't consider it insulting. As long as people accept my reply when I explain that I really prefer women. Only when people keep on ignoring that, just sticking to their stereotypes and ignoring when I explain the truth, that irritates. Oh, and it is no issue to me when people think I am gay, unless when a cute girl thinks it and would not approach me because of that ; the ladies should know I am available and waiting :)


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Keith
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13 Aug 2008, 9:42 pm

I tried a new look with a beard and my step-brother's ex's neighbour had a thing for me - time to shave me thought... So clean shaven I remain. Only had one guy hit on me ... But he was drunk and with a phone call after a text - I was pretty damned sure he was gay.
I am sure I don't have any typical mannerisms associated with gay men...



Social_Fantom
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13 Aug 2008, 10:47 pm

I have been a couple of times: Once because I was the only guy in school without a girl in his arms and another time because I'm not macho, which I've always thought the macho image was meant to compensate for something. The other times it was in a manner used by bullies meant to put me down.

People throw the term around like it's a bad thing and use it to describe someone that doesn't fit into this "macho" image.


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arkityp
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13 Aug 2008, 10:56 pm

ablomov wrote:
God, did I want a girl. Never got one. Two drunken fumbles, nothing. That was thirty years ago. I've watched enough porn I know how to f**k.


as a woman, i'm begging you... don't f**k like you are in porn. it's ridiculous! :P