Telling 'dates' about your diagnosis

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I am considering dating again, its been along time, in the meantime I have collected a few diagnosis mostly HFA/Bipolar/Ceoliacs disease/Hyperacusis. It is bothering me about approaching the subject, anyone dealth with this. I am using a internet dating sight to meet people. Clearly I don't put any mention directly to this on my profile more than wanting to hide my issues I am more concerned about attracting the wrong sorts as technically I am a little vulnerable. Anyone have any thoughts or experiences on this issue and how they dealt with coming out so to speak.

I've gotten creative in the past and it's worked sometimes. Like once I really liked this girl and I wanted to tell her but I couldn't think of a good natural way to get the conversation there. So me and a friend planned to try and push the topic once to a place where he could "let it slip" and then I'd have to explain it. It worked and she understood that I wanted to tell her but it's kind of a hard conversation to start out of the blue.

I am an "open and out" (open and proud) Aspie and I mention my AS to anyone, even strangers. I am not ashamed, and I don't see why I would hide it. So in all profile pages I have, my aspieness is clearly mentioned.

I am not sure if I should also be equally open about my OCD, but about my AS diagnosis I am very open. I don't see any reasons to not do this.

Internet dating sites are hard, man. Too many horndogs messing it up for the rest of us guys. I made my profile hilarious, and I have almost 100 messages in my inbox. But every time I message someone, they don't answer it seems.

I've told women online that I had ADHD and AS and they seemed to politely lose interest.
I'm not going to anymore, I hide all my weaknesses from now on.

The rules maybe different because you are a woman don't know.

I do like to generally be open about being HFA but not sure about the bipolar, well anyway people don't need to hear a complete medical breakdown when you are getting to know them. I do believe it is not best to mention it to begin with I figured that I just try to be myself. I must learn some controls about dating as I can turn into a perceived bunny boiler lol! which is not the case as guys see it, like turns into an obessessive interest and I can appear controlling like about arranging dates when I am seeing them - I try to establish like a routine plus I work shifts so my time off like weekends so on is limited. My last bf got bugged by my texts like too much, to be fair he was just as bad! I use text/msn/messages to communicate - like I can chat away for ever but become mute in public or just get stuck on my part of the conversation. I guess mention it or come across odd, its a hard one similiar dilima for job interviews guess it is about first opinions.

For what it's worth, the people who say 'tell her on the first date, if she can't handle it, she's not worth it!' are talking out of their ass. Not everyone knows what it is, not everyone is strong enough to handle it, true (though that doens't make them bad people), and it might put someone off to be told that so early on.

My strategy is to let them like me first, THEN tell them. Because they already like me, theoretically, if I have Aspeger's that doesn't change anything. If it freaks them out then, they aren't worth chasing; otherwise, score.

Well, you certainly take a big risk on the first date.

You say "Hey baby, I've got Asperger's Syndrome."

She hears, "I'm a psychopathic nut case and I have a spot in my fridge that your head will fit nicely."

BAD BAD idea to tell her on the first date! You can tell her, but let her get to know you first.

I respect your own strategy, but to say doing it otherwise is talking out of the ass is a bit far off...

I just am very open about having AS. I tell anyone, colleagues at work, people I meet and accidently get in conversation with, people on internet forums, people I meet in the football stadium, .... To me having AS is a part of the whole package and not more hidden than me having blue eyes. I just make no secret out of it because I don't see the point. I don't see what this has to do with talking out of the ass ; I respect not everyone finds it as wise or easy to out yourself straight away but my experiences with it have been positive and I see no point in not being open about it. Heck, on my personal webpage (which is mentionned in my CV) there is even an article in which I talk about having AS.

I am a bit more hesitant to also mention the OCD but also have become more open about that recently. About the AS, everyone can know it, I make no secret out of it whatsoever. It is not like I put the label on my forehead, but I will not lie about it or hide it, so if it happens to enter the conversation at the first meeting then so it be.

I would think that if someone came to know you first, and when you told them you made it clear that you are the same person even if you bear this label, then it wouldn't work against you. Don't make too big a deal of it, don't portray it too negatively.

See I'm all for being out, but it's kind of hard because I'm doing well enough that unless I declare it on a t-shirt and put a bumper sticker on my car and my crap, people just more or less assume that I'm just eccentric and strange and it gets old having to explain it all the time.

That's not specifically what I said. My method is the one I'd advise, yes. But I was more referring to the often militant attitude of a few people on this forum that when you tell someone about it within seconds of meeting them, if they then baulk, that it makes them a bad person, not worth your time, etc. THAT is what I consider to be talking out of one's ass. There's a bit of an 'us against them' mentality on here sometimes, and it's counter-productive.

I see. To large extend you are right there. Although often it is the case that those who are openminded will not judge even if you immediately tell, so it CAN be a filter sometimes to see who is worth your time (an openminded person will usually ask first what it means before having a judgement ready) - it CAN be a filter but I agree it doesn't always work that way.

Well yeah. If somebody doesn't know what it is, then for all they know 'asperger's syndrome' could be some kind of debilitating, infectious disease.

From my experience, dating another Aspie has as many potential pitfalls as being involved with those who don't know/understand what it is(as it sounds from your experience(s), hypothetical or actual). To elaborate I was with a guy with Aspergers for 18 months and he'd had his diagnosis already for about ten years as compared to the only roughly two years I'd had mine for when we started dating. Anyway near the end of it our respective diagnosis lengths had bocome somewhat of a point of contention(in my opinion at least) because, though I never said anything to him about how much it irritated me, he'd consistently criticize and say I should curb my reactions to certain circumstances/occurances without even considering he'd been diagnosed nearly five times longer than me and thus he'd had a much longer time to develop more appropriate coping/reaction startegies. So my only point is, it is or can be difficult whether you're having to deal with how and when to let an SO know about your Aspergers and what precisely it is or you're involved with a fellow Aspie.

^Isn't him criticizing you about your symptoms a symptom of his? The schoolyard referee?