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Spokane_Girl

12 Oct 2008, 2:02 am

......

Last edited by Spokane_Girl on 12 Oct 2008, 9:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

Haliphron
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12 Oct 2008, 2:07 am

I wish I could answer that for you but in fact, it really varies from one man to another. I personally am very expressive and have never been one to hide my emotions. Its not so much a conscious choice as much as it is my tempermeant. I just cant be stoic, its totally Not my nature.

Xanovaria
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12 Oct 2008, 2:45 am

Most AS guys say things they way they are. It may take a while to get it out of them in sociability..but that doesn't mean they're not feeling a certain way.
Oftentimes they are embarrassed by how they feel and thus will not tell you. This being the case you may want to surrender your own views unto them and then ask how they are doing themselves.

Spokane_Girl

12 Oct 2008, 2:52 am

I'm talking about all men.

z0rp
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12 Oct 2008, 2:53 am

If you want the truth, it just feels far too embarrassing. Though that's the reason I don't tell people about my feelings it could be different for other men.

slowmutant
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12 Oct 2008, 2:55 am

Spokane_Girl wrote:

I'm talking about all men.

All men do not express emotion the same way, Spokane Girl. All men are not stoics, just as all woman are not hysterical.

Eggman
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12 Oct 2008, 3:12 am

Spokane_Girl wrote:

Since men don't say how they really feel or even express them, it's like they hide them, I am wondering how do you pick up on the cues. This would be something for NTs here to answer.

I believe my first ex didn't show his feelings. I only knew what upset him whenever he said "This is ret*d" and "It pisses me off." But I believed he didn't show his feelings. Then my second ex told me he showed them alright, I just didn't pick up on it. My first ex told him through myspace

But my last ex I knew because he cried.

Burt my current boyfriend doesn't show any. It's like he doesn't have any feelings but I know he has them because everyone has them. Just because they don't express them doesn't mean they aren't there.

So how can you tell how a guy is feeling? What non verbal cues do they show? What body language are they showing? I can't see it from my boyfriend. All I see is him at the computer, him playing his game, him limping because of his bad feet, him heading for the bathroom to shower or use the toilet, him getting ready for work.

Or does everyone not pick up on them because it's their whole point of it? They don't want anyone to know how they are feeling so they don't show them or the body language or the non verbal cues.

sexist and wrong!

Eggman
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12 Oct 2008, 3:12 am

Spokane_Girl wrote:

sexist and wrong!

slowmutant
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12 Oct 2008, 3:14 am

I agree. Does Spokane Girl know anytihng about men?

norwegianman1972
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12 Oct 2008, 3:22 am

Spokane_Girl wrote:

I'm talking about all men.

Is it som much difference between men and women how they show their emotions for their partner? I think its the normal. Physically, of course. Kissing, being physically close, cuddling each other and so on.

slowmutant
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12 Oct 2008, 3:26 am

Spokan Girl, please don't generalize all men or presume we're all the same. It's sexist.

Eggman
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12 Oct 2008, 3:28 am

Spokane_Girl wrote:

I'm talking about all men.

and all women wish to get impreganated and serve a man all their lives. There see it works both ways.

slowmutant
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12 Oct 2008, 3:42 am

Eggman wrote:

Spokane_Girl wrote:

I'm talking about all men.

and all women wish to get impreganated and serve a man all their lives. There see it works both ways.

Yeah, that's why it's called the double standard.

Haliphron
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12 Oct 2008, 4:03 am

Spokane_Girl wrote:

I'm talking about all men.

Expression of ones feelings is a trait that is exceedingly Variable in indiviual men and there really is NO GENERAL RULE for how men express their feelings! Im being TOTALLY honest with you here. Men as a group are very diverse biologically; moreso than women(even though women dont like to here that and its un-PC to point that out

). So you will find greater variation in men's behaviour from one guy to the next than you will in women. Maybe Thats why women get so confused by men-although we are often straightfoward and direct about our intentions and our desires the way we express our feelings is so variable that its hard for women to predict us emotionally.

lotusblossom
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12 Oct 2008, 5:41 am

Haliphron wrote:

Spokane_Girl wrote:

I'm talking about all men.

I think it is difficult for anyone to predict someone else emotionally regardless of gender and this is more so if someone has AS because they can not read the cues that are given out.

I dont think men are more diverse than women, everyone is diverse.

Spokane Girl- ask how they (boyfriend) are feeling and get them to say with words, if you are not comfortable in this try writing letters or emails. This is why love letters are so popular as people can say how they feel with out the embarassment of actually saying it.

LePetitPrince
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12 Oct 2008, 7:50 am

You people are so sensitive about generalizations ,aren't you? You should take it easy , not all generalizations are that wrong.

Spokane is talking about men in general , and yes she's totally right ....gender roles impose on men to not freely show their emotions especially if they are negative emotions like crying and sadness. When men are sad, they usually don't vent openly to their peers like women do, this may vary from one man to man but in general they don't vent , men usually are so paranoid to be seen as sissies or weak or non-confident if they start complaining or whining around others. ....and I am not talking just about the typical macho men.

men suicide more often for that reason...

Spokane, why it's so important to you to know how he's feeling?

I guess the only know way to how he's feeling is to observe his patterns , like how he usually behaves when something upset him ...etc. Or you can try lotus' way.

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