12 Aug 2012, 10:27 pm
13 Aug 2012, 10:06 am
hyperlexian wrote:
deltafunction wrote:
As for women wanting to secure resources in long-term relationships, even high-earning women tend to want to marry men who are earning more than she is. But the point is that women want a long term partner who will devote a majority of his resources to herself or the family. This is shown by women's dislike of "stingy" men, women getting jealous when a man devotes his resources to another woman, women looking for men who are hardworking and smart because of their future earning potential, women disliking men who are unemployed or divorcing when her husband becomes unemployed, etc.
this is not really true, because in modern society people tend to marry others of equal socioeconomic status (that assortative mating i was talking about). if men do earn slightly more than women in a marriage, that is usually due to the fact that women earn less for the same jobs, or the women reduce hours or took time off to care for the family. but at the point of marriage, the income is usually relatively comparable (taking into account the gender wage gap).
(also, some women might be seduced by money, but that doesn't make it a gender-wide instinct based on evolutionary factors. women were not dependent on men until agricultural societies became common, and in prehistoric societies private property was rare.)
Don't forget that the behaviors involved aren't exclusively geared toward marriage or 'unoffical' long term relationships. There are some studies that suggest that women who can't successfully compete for a long term relations ship with an 'alpha male' would still have an affair / one night stand with that type of man, while choosing a more compliant man as provider for her and any children. I read a book on this. It was most interesting.
13 Aug 2012, 10:47 am
13 Aug 2012, 11:23 am
Stauffenberg wrote:
Don't forget that the behaviors involved aren't exclusively geared toward marriage or 'unoffical' long term relationships. There are some studies that suggest that women who can't successfully compete for a long term relations ship with an 'alpha male' would still have an affair / one night stand with that type of man, while choosing a more compliant man as provider for her and any children. I read a book on this. It was most interesting.
Yep. It's often referred to as a "dual mating strategy"... and I was the poor sap paying for her to live with me while she gave more sex to other hunky alpha men. I don't know if I'll ever fully recover from her incredible treachery,
Mishra2012 wrote:
I want a man that is introverted, RESPECTFUL, HONEST, compassionate, values good communication and capable of it to me that's a real "nice guy".
Live anywhere near western Canada?
Last edited by BlueMax on 13 Aug 2012, 11:28 am, edited 1 time in total.
13 Aug 2012, 2:41 pm
Stauffenberg wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
deltafunction wrote:
As for women wanting to secure resources in long-term relationships, even high-earning women tend to want to marry men who are earning more than she is. But the point is that women want a long term partner who will devote a majority of his resources to herself or the family. This is shown by women's dislike of "stingy" men, women getting jealous when a man devotes his resources to another woman, women looking for men who are hardworking and smart because of their future earning potential, women disliking men who are unemployed or divorcing when her husband becomes unemployed, etc.
this is not really true, because in modern society people tend to marry others of equal socioeconomic status (that assortative mating i was talking about). if men do earn slightly more than women in a marriage, that is usually due to the fact that women earn less for the same jobs, or the women reduce hours or took time off to care for the family. but at the point of marriage, the income is usually relatively comparable (taking into account the gender wage gap).
(also, some women might be seduced by money, but that doesn't make it a gender-wide instinct based on evolutionary factors. women were not dependent on men until agricultural societies became common, and in prehistoric societies private property was rare.)
Don't forget that the behaviors involved aren't exclusively geared toward marriage or 'unoffical' long term relationships. There are some studies that suggest that women who can't successfully compete for a long term relations ship with an 'alpha male' would still have an affair / one night stand with that type of man, while choosing a more compliant man as provider for her and any children. I read a book on this. It was most interesting.
quite often the men they sleep with "on the side" are no more "alpha" (by the terms described on teh interwebz) than the husband, though. the other man doesn't have to be studly, and often isn't. frequently it is a man who listens/pays attention/provides the much-desired affection or sex that the long-term partner is no longer interested in.
men and women are cheating in almost equal rates. women are cheating more than they ever have, and the rate is approaching the rates of men's infidelity.
EDIT: here is a good description of whati mean:
Quote:
That said, men are more likely to cite sexual motivations for infidelity and are less likely to fall in love with an extramarital partner, says Helen Fisher, PhD, a biological anthropologist at Rutgers University and the author of Why Him? Why Her? and Why We Love.
Women tend to have an emotional connection with their lover and are more likely to have an affair because of loneliness, Fisher says.
"Women tend to be more unhappy with the relationship they are in ... while men can be a lot happier in their primary relationship and also cheat," Fisher tells WebMD. "Women are more interested in supplementing their marriage or jumping ship than men are -- for men, it is a secondary strategy as opposed to an alternate.".
Women tend to have an emotional connection with their lover and are more likely to have an affair because of loneliness, Fisher says.
"Women tend to be more unhappy with the relationship they are in ... while men can be a lot happier in their primary relationship and also cheat," Fisher tells WebMD. "Women are more interested in supplementing their marriage or jumping ship than men are -- for men, it is a secondary strategy as opposed to an alternate.".
http://women.webmd.com/features/why-do-women-cheat
13 Aug 2012, 3:03 pm
BlueMax wrote:
Yep. It's often referred to as a "dual mating strategy"... and I was the poor sap paying for her to live with me while she gave more sex to other hunky alpha men. I don't know if I'll ever fully recover from her incredible treachery, )
)Man that sucks.
Whatever truth lies in that biological impulses are behind such behavior, they aren't strong enough overcome our will. So it's a temptation, and your morals or lack there of, decides how you choose.
13 Aug 2012, 10:38 pm
MXH
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13 Aug 2012, 11:30 pm
15 Aug 2012, 2:23 am
CrazyStarlightRedux
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15 Aug 2012, 5:34 am
DialAForAwesome
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15 Aug 2012, 8:44 am
15 Aug 2012, 8:49 am
DialAForAwesome wrote:
Also, and this is in line with what Praetorius said, the good guys usually end up with either the girls no one wants physically, or the one who have so much baggage from chasing as*holes that they drown the good guy in it and leave them to take care of kids that aren't theirs and all the while, they show no affection or warmth to the guy whatsoever. I've seen it happen far, far too many times.
Yup. It's hopeless.
Stay safe and happy with hookers and masturbation.
15 Aug 2012, 9:55 am
15 Aug 2012, 1:32 pm
ValentineWiggin
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15 Aug 2012, 2:24 pm
MXH
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15 Aug 2012, 2:29 pm
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