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Confused about women in general.

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Smooth88
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25 Sep 2008, 9:59 pm

I am a depressive AS-male who has probably only had a lasting friendship with one female in my life. I do have feelings for her but I dont want a relationship with her because I know we both need to grow as a person and I want to know that I can take care of myself and know I can be a good boyfriend to her. Problem is I'm very needy and overly friendly the type that always calls and IMs and sees how everythings going. But I never do anything or hang out with you. I'm the only AS person I know. So I find it really hard to relate to most people. I feel like giving up on love. Everybody says I'll find somebody but even if I find someone I'm afraid that I'll just screw it up.I'm good-looking, smart and trying to do something with myself.



ToadOfSteel
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25 Sep 2008, 10:18 pm

Smooth88 wrote:
I am a depressive AS-male who has probably only had a lasting friendship with one female in my life. I do have feelings for her but I dont want a relationship with her because I know we both need to grow as a person and I want to know that I can take care of myself and know I can be a good boyfriend to her. Problem is I'm very needy and overly friendly the type that always calls and IMs and sees how everythings going. But I never do anything or hang out with you. I'm the only AS person I know. So I find it really hard to relate to most people. I feel like giving up on love. Everybody says I'll find somebody but even if I find someone I'm afraid that I'll just screw it up.I'm good-looking, smart and trying to do something with myself.


Try religious or community center activities... the types of people you meet there will be more likely to acknowledge, accept, and welcome aspies into their group. Women there (if there are any your age around) will not only be more likely to accept you (so long as they're single), but they'll also be more your type than most you'll meet elsewhere in the world.



AutisticMalcontent
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25 Sep 2008, 11:10 pm

Smooth88 wrote:
I am a depressive AS-male who has probably only had a lasting friendship with one female in my life. I do have feelings for her but I dont want a relationship with her because I know we both need to grow as a person and I want to know that I can take care of myself and know I can be a good boyfriend to her. Problem is I'm very needy and overly friendly the type that always calls and IMs and sees how everythings going. But I never do anything or hang out with you. I'm the only AS person I know. So I find it really hard to relate to most people. I feel like giving up on love. Everybody says I'll find somebody but even if I find someone I'm afraid that I'll just screw it up.I'm good-looking, smart and trying to do something with myself.


You are wise, my friend, for not trying to push love on your girl friend. However your reliance of IMs and calls will not suit you well if you are looking for romance. If you want any chance at success with this girl, you need to spend more time with her and get to know her better. You have a golden oppurtunity, my friend, and you'd be wise to take advantage of it. If I were you, I would talk with my friend and tell her that I have feelings for her. I'd ask her how she feels about it, and tell her that if she doesn't like me more than a friend, you perfectly understand. This should give you a rough idea of how she feels about you, and your honesty might impress her. But that's my advice, take it or leave it. Don't give up on love so readily, especially when you are so close to a chance at it. Leave the giving up on love to the romantic malcontents who have little faith in woman romantically, like myself. :?