I just don't know what to say... kinda wordy post though ;p

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KingofKaboom
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22 Sep 2008, 9:23 pm

So I've kinda figured out how to get the nerve to talk to girls when I want to most of the time the only problem now is I can't find anything interesting for us both to talk about that doesn't seem forced or strange somehow...

Well there is something I can't understand going on in my classes and it's well not bad but I dunno. Anyway the girls say "hi" or "hey" to me and I say it back and then I sit down and wait for class to start I'm not nervous I just can't think of anything to say to them and when I do I sometimes get an unexpected response like once a girl that I think likes me I tried to talk to her more than once and I make just little comments not anything special just starting a convo and on both times she kinda snapped on me which was weird to say the least and after one time she acted like she wanted to talk but it only served to confuse me further.....

Ok so now this other girl that I have had a bit of a thing for is talking to me now and she let something slip and it seems that these girls for whatever reason are talking about me when I'm not around because she mentioned how I act in another class that she doesn't have but some others do. And well she said "hi" to me and tried to chat which to be honest is weird simply because no one else really ever tries to do that with me ever really I always have to try it.

I dunno what I'm posting this for really I just wanna talk to them and I can't think of anything worth talking about so I just clam up and look away and that's about it... I'm doing lots better but still don't have any friends or any phone numbers and I have no clue how to go about getting those either... I even have a semi friend but more acquaintance friend of a girl but I know she's after someone else but we chat in class and stuff and I got her on facebook and all that jazz but we only talk in class so I dunno same trouble what do I talk about that might interest them w/o boring me to tears....


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Brook-lynn20
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22 Sep 2008, 9:30 pm

"Well there is something I can't understand going on in my classes and it's well not bad but I dunno. Anyway the girls say "hi" or "hey" to me and I say it back and then I sit down and wait for class to start I'm not nervous I just can't think of anything to say to them and when I do I sometimes get an unexpected response like once a girl that I think likes me I tried to talk to her more than once and I make just little comments not anything special just starting a convo and on both times she kinda snapped on me which was weird to say the least and after one time she acted like she wanted to talk but it only served to confuse me further....."





Why did she snap at you? I mean, what kinds of things was she saying?



KingofKaboom
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22 Sep 2008, 9:35 pm

It was just her tone really she sounded annoyed that's all both times though that I tried to talk to her it happened dunno why and we've sorta talked a little w/o that happening although I feel like I say weird things b/c they won't say anything or even make a response to me... But when I asked why she had on a knee thing for a knee injury she said "because my knee hurts" now that means nothing you'd have to have heard her say it and right after that I moved away from her b/c my head was hurting really bad that day and I was insulted to by her tone and when I moved away she said jokingly "well fine move to the corner then!" understand that I can tell a persons tone of voice for those who cannot I don't have that trouble. Oh and the corner was nice and cold which helps when I get those semi migraines I get sometimes.


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Brook-lynn20
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22 Sep 2008, 10:06 pm

She should have been more specific as to why she had a knee injury. of course it hurt, otherwise she wouldn't even be wearing a cast. Did you tell her you had a semi-migraine that day



KingofKaboom
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22 Sep 2008, 10:14 pm

I know what she should have done but she didn't do it :? and yeah I told her I moved b/c my head was hurting and it was colder over in the corner. But it's more than that one event it's a whole bunch of little things and today I heard them talking about some guy who's waaaayyyyy to clingy and it made me think that if they talk about him surely they'll talk about me :? Anyway I just wanna know how to better keep the convo going with a girl that's all it's not easy to talk to them and have them have fun talking to you if they don't have fun I won't ask them for their number or to hang out b/c they'll only say no :(


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22 Sep 2008, 10:25 pm

I guess you're trying this already but you can always just ask how they are doing. Listen to what they are saying and ask questions. Anyone, male or female, loves it when you listen to them and asking questions and talking about what they say is the perfect way to complement someone. It's also perfect for when you can't think of anything to say.

I'll admit, I recently found that out in group. For whatever reason, I never really know it was really that simple.


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KingofKaboom
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22 Sep 2008, 10:29 pm

Eh I ask others questions but when I do I always feel stupid and like I'm prying too much it does keep it moving but I just wanna chat and ask as things come up I could ask them but I don't want them to think I'm trying to gauge them for a date or something I think I should really aim for friends that way if it can happen it'll be better when it does :)


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release_the_bats
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22 Sep 2008, 10:43 pm

I suggest using your sense of humor to your advantage. Just try to make them laugh, almost any way you can. You don't have to have serious conversations when you're just getting to know someone - you can save that for later, after you've shared enough good laughs to feel comfortable around each other. I've found that humor is an effective way to deal with almost anything.



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22 Sep 2008, 10:48 pm

KingofKaboom wrote:
I think I should really aim for friends that way if it can happen it'll be better when it does :)


Sounds like a plan to me. :wink:


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KingofKaboom
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22 Sep 2008, 11:40 pm

release_the_bats wrote:
I suggest using your sense of humor to your advantage. Just try to make them laugh, almost any way you can. You don't have to have serious conversations when you're just getting to know someone - you can save that for later, after you've shared enough good laughs to feel comfortable around each other. I've found that humor is an effective way to deal with almost anything.
I have a sarcastic and dry or even rude humor to certain people and I've tried they don't think I'm funny I guess or whatever... On a sad note I've been looking at this girl outside wanting to talk to her but I know she'll just blow me off b/c she's done it before and it just upsets me that I still like her after that... she has a guy and I can't get closer plus she sends mixed signals and dangint I just wanna not care b/c she doesn't and I won't have a chance since she won't even talk to me when I try.........


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br0wser
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22 Sep 2008, 11:58 pm

KingofKaboom wrote:
release_the_bats wrote:
I suggest using your sense of humor to your advantage. Just try to make them laugh, almost any way you can. You don't have to have serious conversations when you're just getting to know someone - you can save that for later, after you've shared enough good laughs to feel comfortable around each other. I've found that humor is an effective way to deal with almost anything.
I have a sarcastic and dry or even rude humor to certain people and I've tried they don't think I'm funny I guess or whatever... On a sad note I've been looking at this girl outside wanting to talk to her but I know she'll just blow me off b/c she's done it before and it just upsets me that I still like her after that... she has a guy and I can't get closer plus she sends mixed signals and dangint I just wanna not care b/c she doesn't and I won't have a chance since she won't even talk to me when I try.........


I completely sympathize with this situation, having just recently come out of one similar, except the woman I was interested in totally ignored me whenever I wanted to talk with her about my feelings for her. She seemed to be totally interested in me, and even my NT "sounding-boards" who know both of us thought she was acting like she was interested before she found out I had strong feelings for her. It's been going downhill since, and right now I feel flat and dead inside. She didn't want to "ruin our friendship", but it has happened anyway. The major irony of it is that her 10 year old son has Asperger's, and I told her once that she was going to have to explain to him eventually why a woman has done the same to him that she's done to me (about not being interested without a concrete reason).

What might work best for you is to just keep it light, just say maybe, "Hey, how's it going?" while you are *walking past* them. I've been known to have a very cynical sense of humor, but most of the people I work with seem to find it funny, especially because I make fun of our job (try being ASD and working at a 411 call center... as a supervisor...). Maybe you could sort of poke fun at the professor or something. Nearly everything has an aspect of humor in it somewhere. Just toss off a one-liner in passing, don't linger for the results, but listen for the chuckling. If you hear that, you might have a winner...

It seems to work out the worst when I focus too much on a particular person. I think maybe it creeps them out or something. Put your emotional shields at 50%, maybe? Then most of the crap will slide off and you won't be left staggering like someone had punched you in the gut.


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Nachtus01
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23 Sep 2008, 12:55 am

KingofKaboom wrote:
I have a sarcastic and dry or even rude humor to certain people and I've tried they don't think I'm funny I guess or whatever... On a sad note I've been looking at this girl outside wanting to talk to her but I know she'll just blow me off b/c she's done it before and it just upsets me that I still like her after that... she has a guy and I can't get closer plus she sends mixed signals and dangint I just wanna not care b/c she doesn't and I won't have a chance since she won't even talk to me when I try.........


Hey I have the exact same kinda sense of humor!! ! Seriously, I do, and you know what.....it helped me find a girl, and get married and have 2 kids, and, well, 13 years later.....all is still as well as it can be, i guess, lol.
No, your humor wont work all the time, but what it does, it attract people who have a sense of humor, or if your humor is indeed, "different", those with a different sense of humor. You might have to go thru a few girls, or people in general, if your just looking for friends, but eventually you will find the ones worth hanging on to.....or perhaps its they who will find you ;)


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23 Sep 2008, 3:12 am

KingofKaboom wrote:
But when I asked why she had on a knee thing for a knee injury she said "because my knee hurts" now that means nothing you'd have to have heard her say it and right after that I moved away from her b/c my head was hurting really bad that day and I was insulted to by her tone and when I moved away she said jokingly "well fine move to the corner then!"

well she is a b**ch. just don't waste your time with her. when i meet people like her with that kind of comments with that kind of tone, i just smile after and the uneven smile is saying, 'i think you are not worth of my attention anymore and i am going to ignore you, that's why i am moving to the corner away from you'.

you are 21, don't take it all so seriously...


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release_the_bats
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23 Sep 2008, 10:00 am

KingofKaboom wrote:
release_the_bats wrote:
I suggest using your sense of humor to your advantage. Just try to make them laugh, almost any way you can. You don't have to have serious conversations when you're just getting to know someone - you can save that for later, after you've shared enough good laughs to feel comfortable around each other. I've found that humor is an effective way to deal with almost anything.


I have a sarcastic and dry or even rude humor to certain people and I've tried they don't think I'm funny I guess or whatever...


That's odd because I've known plenty of girls who love that kind of humor and find it attractive. So it could be a matter of where you live and what kind of people you are around - that's the only explanation I can think of at the moment.



Brook-lynn20
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23 Sep 2008, 10:43 am

I sure love it when a guy uses sarcasm and humor.



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23 Sep 2008, 11:02 am

Brook-lynn20 wrote:
I sure love it when a guy uses sarcasm and humor.


Well, I guess I can't please you then...