If you're a nice guy, should you just accept it?

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I keep on reading all these threads (not only on this forum) about how women don't like nice guys, and this pretty much echoes my life experiences (being friendzoned without having any chances of a relationship.) I've tried being an a**hole, but that just isn't me; I was raised to be a gentleman, and I think people should be treated with respect. However, that seems to kill all chances of me having a girlfriend, at least at the age range I'm currently at.

Should I just give up and resign myself to a life of loneliness? Or are there women out there who (gasp!) actually like nice guys?

Yes.

Yes.

You will, of course, have to look for them in the right places. I started a discussion about it here: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt76200.html

Good boys never win!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nP01782N ... re=related



I just found this one! Detroit 442 (Off topic but oh well.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drNWjF7N3Rs&NR=1

Last edited by sgrannel on 08 Sep 2008, 10:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yeah, I mean you gotta be a little bit of a jerk at first but also nice in ummm kind of a cocky aspect. I dont know why but when a guy gets animated and full of himself in a funny way girls go for it initially whether you're a nice guy or not. Im really nice to my woman but she has forced it out of me.

The concept of nice guy/jerk is pretty silly, to me... Being yourself is key, and not apologizing. Trying to appease everyone, you lose the very features that would make you appeal to anyone. You're bland, and that doesn't garner interest. Be yourself, and don't apologize for it. You're going to offend or piss off people along the way, and you can't control it. Some women will be attracted, some won't... I've been fortunate enough that the woman I love happens to love me as well for who I am. Sometimes you get fortunate, but there are no guarantees.


M.

most women are b*tches, they can't stand a Nice guy cos they are also weaker on the surface, a woman doesn't what to lose her "status", so you have to fake acting hard and strong whatever then you can let your gaurds down, a woman really wants someone who is a liar, but never lies to her, a cheater, but never would cheat on her, woman expect too much and want what they want and thats it, it's no fair

QFT

Nice guy or jerk, it is better to be yourself than a copy of others.

Ah, I see a potential poem in that!

all women want nice guys.
younger women tend to go for the alpha male not so nice types.
so the solution is to raise your radar for older women.
im not sure how old you are but older women have had enough of jerk and alpha male types and want what you seem willing to offer: a gentleman.

Maybe there is something Jerk about you. Some people call me arrogance, especially when expressing opinion( based on scientific evidence). I just work on it a little bit. I also cannot stand NTs attitude generally, so I work on that also.

Maybe you are trying to Emulate NTs. Just like in real world, hardware Emulation is very inefficient. However some software like Linux’s Wine doen’t use hardware emulation.

Maybe not try to be an "a**hole" but rather a be a more open sort of guy. Care less about what other think of you and the ones who like you for who you really are will follow. Find someone find attractive whether it be body or mind and even better both and chat to her. See if she gives of IOI (Indicators of Interest) and ask her out. Don't sit there and wait for it to happen, make it happen. The girl I first went out with asked me but well I was lucky. That doesn't often happen, we unforunately live in a society where the man is the one takes charge but thats ok. Think about, would rather sit there and watch all the opportunties walk by or are you going to "take control of your life". Extrovertedness doesn't stem from jerkness. True, niceness seems to concide with introvertedness and jerkness concide with extrovertedness but that is not always the case. It isn't about making insults, it's about being confident, likeable, exciting and more impulsive with control of course. You have to stop worrying about the way you look or how people think you. Prepare yourself. Dress decent and not dull. Excercise lol, not many are attracted to obese people (mainly because thats how evolution works). If you're just little chubby thats not a problem, better to have a little meat than to be a stick. Once you have prepare yourself as much you're body will allow just let go and be care free. Those aren't attracted to you don't matter, but in order to find the ones who will you must "put yourself on the market". Be honest about yourself, this is an important thing with being open or if you prefer extroverted. You don't to lie, just be honest.

"""AngryJessman - most women are b*tches"""


Takea a mighty big idiot to say something like that man.
Jeeeeez, its your type that makes things hard for the
"normal" ones. Have you tried pulling your head out of
your ass and looked around?

kinda off topic but i noticed your avatar was a photograph of a hologram.
your 2 dimensionalising a 3 dimensional image that was made in 2 dimensions.
did you mean to do this?

I like nice guys. If you think nice guys always lose then why do are many of us NT women crazy about an Aspie guy and he won't return our feelings? I've seen a lot of the same things too.

Either the guy can't find a girl or has his mind set on one type of girl or the girl is crazy about the guy but he isn't wanting a relationship. It's very confusing for everyone.

You are talking about an aspie, not a NT nice guy. Aspie, if me is anything to go by, do not care about what people think by nature . The fact that I do, is only a means to and end, to find a partner. I can tell you that aspies especially, who don’t care about what people think, will not make any effort at all. Why would they bother?

Actually caring about what other people think, is an NT survival trait that aspies lack. The trick is to pretend you don’t care, lie. If you sell your perfect old banger for a car that costs 8 time more that bring no benefits, instead saying you are using it as a pulling magnet, just lie, and say you just want a better cars, NTs do it so often they start to believe the blimin lie.