I want to ask someone out next week

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This story starts about five weeks ago, when classes had been in session for a couple of weeks.
I sort of knew to look for someone. I just didn't know who or where. So eventually I started looking. And when you look you find things.

In this case, I started finding optimally compatible women. In one case on Yahoo! personals, out of boredom and loneliness, I punched in some numbers and got only one person, who was an atmospheric science masters student here. Sure, that worked out... she never ever replied to my Yahoo message or anything. Another person was almost an exact clone of the only person I ever dated, except for the fact that she happened to be in the same physics program as me. Go figure, she wouldn't date me as well. Then there was the real brain teaser. The 18 or 19 year old student who seemed interested in me - however, lets face it, I never saw her nor will I see her again.

Finally, I have one person that all my searching never led me to, and yet the first time I saw her, my heart lept a mile. and every time I saw her since, my heart raced, and I felt a little voice in my head saying "ask her out, just do it, nothing bad will happen, go over there, ask her out". Well, never happened to me before in my life. I never looked at a woman and got the blunt face reality that I should ask her out right then and there. And I have never had so many opportunities in my life - and yet I failed at all of them. Here she was, right in front of me the whole time. Heck, she was right beside me for an hour and a half for astrophysics! We were fellow TA's, I knew her schedule like the back of my hand. I knew when and where.

But, I am still afraid of the unknown, not of commitment, just the unknown. Still, come wind, rain, snow, or sleet, I will ask her out next week, face to face, in boldness and casualness, confidence with some swagger.

Go for it man. As the expression says: "Nothing ventured, nothing gained".

Good luck.

I've learnt that when I get this type of feeling with girls, which, you're right, happens very rarely, it's always reciprocated. The important thing is that you're getting the feeling to do it now, and that nothing bad will happen — this is good, much better than the "she's gorgeous and would never date me" feeling, which usually rings true.

Many times in my life I've been blind to a girl liking me, thinking that she was just being friendly, even when I liked her. Repeatedly I would suddenly find the girl won't speak to me, only later realising that she had grown sick of waiting, and that my lack of action made her feel unworthy. So remember that you can't wait around with girls, you have to act quickly, as soon as you get the feeling you're describing.

And you don't need the swagger, she'll likely see right through it (but probably think it's cute).

I have found that most girls will take you up on this, because it's fairly non-threatening. It's like you're both playing a little game. She knows you're interested but pretends you're not making a move. You know she's interested (because she took you up on it) but pretend you just want to keep it casual. It's a good way to get to know a person a little better and see how you feel.

Of course, you could just be direct and ask her out. I've tried both and both work. If you want to do this, I would just say something like "I'm interested in getting to know you better and would like to meet you for (insert activity) if you would also be interested." Not every girl would go for it, but the girl of your dreams probably would.

Best advise I can give anyone who's about to ask someone out:

Remember, failure needn't be failure.

If she turns you down - and who knows, she might not - but if she does, that is not a failing on your part. Remember, you've summoned the courage to ask her. That's further than a lot of people get. It's part of the experience, it's a step in the right direction.

I will give the briefest updates on what happened.

Monday, I started to get a knot in my stomach and feel as if I should ask her out. I decided at last minute to do this, despite the fact that the original plan was to do it on Friday.

I wound up walking back and forth, in the back hallway in the Optics building 2nd floor, by the tutoring center where she was working, for about 15 minutes, torn over the issue. I then went to the pop machines, prayed, was still a little torn, kept praying, but then took my bookbag into the TA office, and felt a sudden relief as I remembered the words of advice my friend told me (hearing them in my head), which made me laugh, him basically saying to just act casual, just be yourself, don't worry, its no big deal. I felt a sudden wave a confidence. I walked casually into the hallway where the tutoring is held, and she was not there. I of course knew that she would be in the computer lab, I heard her on the computer in there. I walked in, I stood at the table in the front there, and leaned over on it, and just started, and we scheduled a time, me starting on what might be Friday, finding out that she would be grading an exam that day, and then leading on to the possibility of going out on Tuesday after class. She wound up having a lot to do that day, so we rescheduled last minute - we went out Wednesday. I did not ask her out immediately after that, I wanted to give her some wiggle room. But, she also was busy on Friday, and busy this weekend. I panicked a bit, but realized after I panicked, that it happens, and I'm just having trouble adjusting to my first real dating relationship. I know for certain that we both really like each other. I can see it in her eyes, as she can see it in mine. A bit mushy, I know, but when your in astrophysics and you just spontaneously look over at each other, there is a real connection.

See? There are asperger's success stories.

well there you go. Keep up the good work.

Cool. Good for you. Nice to see these things.